The 1 long long minute
Today was a relaxing day. Hanged out with a bunch of 'senior' citizens at senior citizen corner =P
Haha.. You senior citizens know who you are.... and ya, will never take 3 MBML in a row..it sucks...
Those who know where I stay will know that its kind of freaky. For the uninitiated, its right at the edge of the Bidari Muslim cemetery. The bus stop where I usually stop is on one side of a road that is approximatley 100m in length. Its a straight road with a slight bend at either ends of the road. This road leads to an underpass at one end, so cars usually are quite fast. However the weird thing is that the cars come in waves. So when there are cars, there are alot of cars, when there is no cars, its absoulutely deserted. Its 3 lanes each side, so there are 6 lanes in all plus a grass divider at the center.
Usually, when I am down,pissed or just feeling crazy, I would play this game. Its sort of a challenge to myself.
1)I wait till there are no cars in sight.
2)Arms wide with fingers outstretch. Head held high.
3)Shut my eyes.
4)Start walking towards the other end of the road.
5)Keep walking till I get too scared , fall or reach the other end.
You all may think its damn easy to do. At the same time think I am crazy. Well, you are only right on 1 count. I am crazy. Its not easy at all to do this. You can even try it at home, try walking with your eyes closed for 20 secs. I bet that you will be gripped by fear and have this unbelievable urge to open ur eyes. I know.
Its an very unbelievable feeling that I get when I do this stupid act. With me trying to keep my eyes shut tight. Trying to strain my ears to hear the oncoming car. My sub concious telling me that I am a dumb fuck. My shuffling feet trying to move faster out of harms way. Only to become stumbling blocks when I fall on the asphalt. My mind judging how far do I still have to go and when do I have to lift my feet to cross the divider, when till I reach the other end and plant my feet on the reassuring curb.
But once I get over all my fears and get over to the other side.
I feel super duper satisfied. Maybe like david beckham when he scores a goal (I know this sounds corny)
Know that I have once again pushed my luck. That I may not be so lucky every single time.
But then once you know what it feels like, you keep wanting to go back and try it again and again.
Its the rush and the fear. The overpowering instinct that I have to open my eyes.
So come-on, next time when anyone comes over to my place, you can try it and know how I feel, altho I very much doubt you can close your eyes all the way for the whole harrowing journey of maybe 1 minute.
I managed it today..... =P
I AM COMPLICATED
My thanks to muizz for helping me on this blog. Thanks Bud!
Friday, October 10, 2003
Thursday, October 09, 2003
The Molotov Cocktail
No school today. Stayed at home and surfed mindlessly on the net the whole day.
Towards late afternoon, decided I could do with some sleep. My mind was totally restless. But I decided to try anyway.
I really regret doing that. Sleep is one thing, but nightmares are another.
I got a nightmare today, a very bad one. That someone was dying. From my molotov cocktail.
Why did she have to be there when I threw the molotov cocktail? She was the only one person in the world
who I wont hurt. Althought I must admit that I am terrified of her, I would never hurt her.
She was burning. But she never did scream. Thats so like her. I could feel the heat of the flames, the smell of burning.
It was so vivid I could swear it was all happening.
I felt like crying, but what could I do? There was no-one around...Felt helpless. I was afraid. I was sick to the stomach.
Then I woke up.It was raining outside. My pillow was tear stained.
I wondered to myself, what would I do if it was real? I would probably just die.
Woke up to the sound of pouring rain,The wind would whisper and I'd think of you.
Skid Row. I remember you
You'll meet other men
Who will break your heart
If I see you with them
It's gonna tear me apart
RW. If its hurting you.
No school today. Stayed at home and surfed mindlessly on the net the whole day.
Towards late afternoon, decided I could do with some sleep. My mind was totally restless. But I decided to try anyway.
I really regret doing that. Sleep is one thing, but nightmares are another.
I got a nightmare today, a very bad one. That someone was dying. From my molotov cocktail.
Why did she have to be there when I threw the molotov cocktail? She was the only one person in the world
who I wont hurt. Althought I must admit that I am terrified of her, I would never hurt her.
She was burning. But she never did scream. Thats so like her. I could feel the heat of the flames, the smell of burning.
It was so vivid I could swear it was all happening.
I felt like crying, but what could I do? There was no-one around...Felt helpless. I was afraid. I was sick to the stomach.
Then I woke up.It was raining outside. My pillow was tear stained.
I wondered to myself, what would I do if it was real? I would probably just die.
Woke up to the sound of pouring rain,The wind would whisper and I'd think of you.
Skid Row. I remember you
You'll meet other men
Who will break your heart
If I see you with them
It's gonna tear me apart
RW. If its hurting you.
Wednesday, October 08, 2003
SHEESHA AND MY COUSIN (SIC SIC)
Went to LFG at NUS, was hoping that i dint get to see my cousin who I loath. Lucky I dint get to see him or his shiny silver Volkswagen Golf.
He is Rich,
He is Good-Looking,
He is Smart,
He is Charming,
He is the guy girls wanna bring back to their parents,
He is someone who dont give a fuck about other's feeling and
He is someone who likes to hurt people.
Why do I dislike him? Cause, he is everything I am not.
I'm no longer that irritating little brat you thought I was even when I gave you respect and loved you.
Touch me now and you will regret every single thing that you ever did to me. I mean it.
Well, on a happier note, I had a very enjoyable weekend. Thought I would tell you guys about it.
After the LFG (Lets-Frolick-Games), erfen,Ling, muiz,Linn, adnan, farveen and I headed to try something that I had not tried before. S-H-E-E-S-H-A
Reach the place at about 10pm, we reached there late as we tried to go to one at prinsep street just to find that there was no places left. So we headed to the one at bugis.
OK, erfen placed an order for 2 sheeshas, one apple and one strawberry...
After the sheesha had arrived, me and ling started learning the art of smoking thur a 70 cm tall complicated contraption ,made from metal, glass and piping.
Well, proud to say that I dint choke...Ling did tho, had a good laugh.
But the highlight was when everybody had sufficiently losened up after the sheesha and we started talking. I like this kinda thing where a group of friends can just sit down and talk. No strings attached.
After that, azhani bought 2 friends and joined us, we then ordered anothe sheesha, this time vanilla....
But of all the flavours, I like apple best..was hogging it all the time..
Well, we sheesha-ed from 10am to 3am, just lazing around and talking. Acting like Mats.
Then azhani and her friends left...
At that time, the remaining 4 of us, adnan, muizz, erfen and me were very hungry. Last time we ate was arnd 6 at NUS. So 4 of us trooped of to a nearby 7-11 store.
Well, was taught a valuable lesson of survival by Muizz. Bought 2 cans of tuna, 2 loafs of bread, 2 bottles of mineral water up to a cost of arnd $7. With that little amount, it managed to feed 4 hungry teenagers...Impressive and delicious I might add.
But perhaps what made it so good was the ambience where we dined.
4am at a deserted bugis junction.... Near the fountain. It was a very surreal exprience. Been to buigs junction loads of times, but this will be one time that I will always remember.
It was dark, eerie, weather was wet and cold. No one around...It was great. If we had a candle, it would have been a candle light supper...
Then Muizz had the bloody great stupid idea to tell ghost stories, I dint want to, but the rest wanted...so haiz.... Well, lets just said the stories they said scared the shit out of me. I was truly afraid. Not afraid to admit, but truly afraid. Afraid that some pontianak would grab me or that when I berak, some ghost would be in the same toliet as me.
Well, after we scared the shit out of each other, we talked abit more about stuff like movies,then we headed home.
Man, for thie first time in my life, I fell asleep on the bus and missed my stop...weird.
Ok, up till now, I have an confession to make, when they asked me who was the most attractive girl in our course, I lied....But no use asking me for the answer, I will not tell, those people who think that you know, will appreciate it if u keep it to yourself, even from me.
ok , gonna leave you with one of my thoughts:
You can do any fucking thing you want. But for goodness sake, use your brain
Went to LFG at NUS, was hoping that i dint get to see my cousin who I loath. Lucky I dint get to see him or his shiny silver Volkswagen Golf.
He is Rich,
He is Good-Looking,
He is Smart,
He is Charming,
He is the guy girls wanna bring back to their parents,
He is someone who dont give a fuck about other's feeling and
He is someone who likes to hurt people.
Why do I dislike him? Cause, he is everything I am not.
I'm no longer that irritating little brat you thought I was even when I gave you respect and loved you.
Touch me now and you will regret every single thing that you ever did to me. I mean it.
Well, on a happier note, I had a very enjoyable weekend. Thought I would tell you guys about it.
After the LFG (Lets-Frolick-Games), erfen,Ling, muiz,Linn, adnan, farveen and I headed to try something that I had not tried before. S-H-E-E-S-H-A
Reach the place at about 10pm, we reached there late as we tried to go to one at prinsep street just to find that there was no places left. So we headed to the one at bugis.
OK, erfen placed an order for 2 sheeshas, one apple and one strawberry...
After the sheesha had arrived, me and ling started learning the art of smoking thur a 70 cm tall complicated contraption ,made from metal, glass and piping.
Well, proud to say that I dint choke...Ling did tho, had a good laugh.
But the highlight was when everybody had sufficiently losened up after the sheesha and we started talking. I like this kinda thing where a group of friends can just sit down and talk. No strings attached.
After that, azhani bought 2 friends and joined us, we then ordered anothe sheesha, this time vanilla....
But of all the flavours, I like apple best..was hogging it all the time..
Well, we sheesha-ed from 10am to 3am, just lazing around and talking. Acting like Mats.
Then azhani and her friends left...
At that time, the remaining 4 of us, adnan, muizz, erfen and me were very hungry. Last time we ate was arnd 6 at NUS. So 4 of us trooped of to a nearby 7-11 store.
Well, was taught a valuable lesson of survival by Muizz. Bought 2 cans of tuna, 2 loafs of bread, 2 bottles of mineral water up to a cost of arnd $7. With that little amount, it managed to feed 4 hungry teenagers...Impressive and delicious I might add.
But perhaps what made it so good was the ambience where we dined.
4am at a deserted bugis junction.... Near the fountain. It was a very surreal exprience. Been to buigs junction loads of times, but this will be one time that I will always remember.
It was dark, eerie, weather was wet and cold. No one around...It was great. If we had a candle, it would have been a candle light supper...
Then Muizz had the bloody great stupid idea to tell ghost stories, I dint want to, but the rest wanted...so haiz.... Well, lets just said the stories they said scared the shit out of me. I was truly afraid. Not afraid to admit, but truly afraid. Afraid that some pontianak would grab me or that when I berak, some ghost would be in the same toliet as me.
Well, after we scared the shit out of each other, we talked abit more about stuff like movies,then we headed home.
Man, for thie first time in my life, I fell asleep on the bus and missed my stop...weird.
Ok, up till now, I have an confession to make, when they asked me who was the most attractive girl in our course, I lied....But no use asking me for the answer, I will not tell, those people who think that you know, will appreciate it if u keep it to yourself, even from me.
ok , gonna leave you with one of my thoughts:
You can do any fucking thing you want. But for goodness sake, use your brain
Tuesday, October 07, 2003
The Day the Black, Blue and Gold fell
I'm in mourning. Still feeling upset that internazionale could collapse to the bastard red side of milan..
Just can't believe it.... Well, I must admit, I had a bad feeling before the match, but i did'nt think it would be that bad.. Milan played well granted, but thats scant consolation. Cause even Juve can win when they play badly. Mr Hector Raul Cuper may have done well in improving us, but perhaps it may be time to say adios?!? We cant have a manager who can only always manage only 2nd best...Not when milan is up there...
Death to the Rossoneri
Death upon Death to the Internazionale poser supporters... Your blood runs RED
I'm in mourning. Still feeling upset that internazionale could collapse to the bastard red side of milan..
Just can't believe it.... Well, I must admit, I had a bad feeling before the match, but i did'nt think it would be that bad.. Milan played well granted, but thats scant consolation. Cause even Juve can win when they play badly. Mr Hector Raul Cuper may have done well in improving us, but perhaps it may be time to say adios?!? We cant have a manager who can only always manage only 2nd best...Not when milan is up there...
Death to the Rossoneri
Death upon Death to the Internazionale poser supporters... Your blood runs RED
A new chapter in an old life will be unfolded in this jungle.....................
Anybody with any brilliance(which i doubt) to share with the world and wants to put it in this jungle could become an administrator too....... so Come-on, share your brilliance with the world or make us laugh with your stupidity, either way, we win....its a tough life out there, only the strongest survive in the jungle....
Anybody with any brilliance(which i doubt) to share with the world and wants to put it in this jungle could become an administrator too....... so Come-on, share your brilliance with the world or make us laugh with your stupidity, either way, we win....its a tough life out there, only the strongest survive in the jungle....
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