I just wanted to get something off my chest.


I am not happy.

1 week before departure.

and I'm suddenly having a very bad case of jitters.

I've not slept for 36 hours straight and have smoked approximately 40 cigarettes with many shots of espresso in between.

I have not even started and I'm feeling tremendous pressure.

Not from anyone but from myself.

I am not happy.

I am not happy with myself.

This shouldn't be happening.

I'm a wreck and I look a wreck.

I need sleep, rest, calm. badly.

This shouldn't be happening when things are the way I want them to be.