poignant.

Friday.
Had coffee with luqman at the coffee place just below my block.
We talked aplenty.
Smoke alpenty.
I told him quite abit of stuff that has happened.
and he asked me afew pointed questions.
They placed new things to think about in my mind.
I dont feel comfortable with what is going to happen.


Thereafter, I went for my lunch in town and a walk about.
Decided to print photos.
Dont ask me how I did it, the bill came up to 30 odd dollars.
Well, I guess printing 5R photos got something to do with it.
the best part is, I forgot to ask the lady at the shop to placed the borders in.
So my photos came out without borders.
Photos without borders is something that I dislike for a reason even unknown to me.
They just dont feel the same with a proper frame.


Then it was a short walk down to starfucks.
Double.
No triple for me. I didnt feel the need for it.
But well, the barrista did.
He did ask me if i needed a triple.
I dont know.
My face these days, do they look like they need a triple?
are things that bad?
Hmm, I dont think so.
We make things to be how bad or how good they are.
I dont think its the other way round.

I had my drink.
Smoked a couple of sticks.
well, more than a couple, but thats hardly the point.
Looked at the photos I just printed.
But I was just too wasted to put the photos into my lil black book.

I'm currently re-reading Shadow of The Wind.
Its striking a deeper chord this time round, I'm not exactly sure why, but it just is.
Around 5. I decided that I had enough, so I left.

Not having a place to go and having had my fill of caffine and nicotine,
Somehow, I just found myself at home within the next half hour or so.



Today.
Well, i woked up quite late.
No thanks to reading the novel late into the night.
Had lunch at home.
There wasnt anyone at home.
No questions to ask.
No unnecessary chatter.
It was a comfortable silence.
and I was grateful for it.

My family are in a chatty mood these 2 days.
No little thanks to my 2 brothers.

Yi Ci got 3 As at the Os.
he aced his english 2, lit 1 and geograhpy 1.
So my parents are very happy.

and the little fucker actually credited his A in english and lit to me.
i wasnt particulary touched.
why?
because i fucking saw this coming.
I was the one who inculcated his implusive need to read.
I know which books he reads and when he was younger, I decided what was good for him to read.

Yi En won the inter JC band competition, supernova, so he is all smiles.



I showed my parents the letter that I got.
i didnt feel like it, it just came out when they were again berating me on my working hours and asking what i got out of it in the end. i didnt have a choice, so i just left the letter on the dinning table yesterday evening...

but the plan sorta back fired, now more than ever, they are insisting they pick up where I left off.

I havent told many people on what my parents want me to do, with their veiled threats and what not.
But if you are one of those who know, it just means something doesnt it?


My dad bought a ceiling fan.
So the better part of the afternoon was spent fixing the ceiling fan.
Dont ask me why my parents didnt get the shop to fix the fan, I guess they just have a fetish for DIY, of cos, when they are not the ones drilling fucking holes in the ceiling.

But in anycase, I was glad for the distraction it afforded me.

Dinner at al majlis with fn and lu.
Lu just came back from new zealand with the artillery boys, so we had plenty to talk about.
I showed them the photos that I printed.
We also planned alittle on our sri lankan trip.
Yes, dinner was good.
The food, as per normal was up to standards and the company more so.
and I finnished everything infront of me.
Well done I say.










My love for the captured picture.

Yes. They are strong visual cues.
They bring you back to that moment when you snapped it.
You think about the events preceding the photo and after the photo was taken.
You wreck your brains to remember, finger in your mouth between your teeth, if that was what really happened.
You decide again, in that moment, if truly, you remember what you felt.

But for all the beauty in a well taken photograph.

They are lacking.

The smell, the touch, the sensations of that time.
This is something that a photograph cannot and will not replicate.
Will you rather look at a photograph of something or would you rather look at that person with your own eyes?
Will you rather salivate over a picture of your favourite dish, or would you rather dig into it with feavour?

When you hold a photograph with a loved one in it, wont you rather swap it with the real person to be sitting next to you? Holding their hands instead of holding the picture.


Sometimes, very glaringly, I realise the limitations of the photo.
But other than that, sometimes, I'm extremely grateful for them being able to remind me of whats truly important in my life and transport me back, even if its for a fleeting moment, to that moment where I tried to capture that essence.


I realised long ago, that to truly feel for a picture, one must live in it, be there when it happened and seen it unfold with their own eyes.
if not, the photograph will cease to have its meaning. What it will be, is just another picture to another person.
The beauty may be easily seen, but the underlying reasons and the complicated factors that gave rise to the photo will be missed if not thought about.



So try, whenever you are looking at a photo.
Reminisence of that time.
Remember the good and keep in mind the bad.
and I hope, that for you all, photos will bear the same meaning as they do to me.

Photography is an art, but its also an emotion.
Its something that one does out of passion.
Its something one does out of love for another.
and sometimes, it can even affect the masses in a way that no other medium can.
It can show your friends the beauty that you see.
It can show others the love that you give.
A picture paints a thousand words.
but more importantly, a picture, can evoke the best or the worst in emotions.

Continue taking photos.
If anything, I'm just happy to know, that in my heart, you are doing something that I stand for, love and approve with my soul.

There are alot of things that I do not know.
Will I continue playing computer games 20 years from now?
Will I smoke 10 sticks a day 10 years from now?
Will I love the same people that I love now in the future?

While there are alot of things that I'm unsure of in the future.
I'm glad that at least I know for sure that a couple of things will not change.



I will be taking photos to the day I die.
Why?
Because more than anything, I love capturing the essence in things I love, in times I love and most importantly, of people that I love.

Its really that simple.
Its not hard to see.

and to see, is not something that the common person does nowadays.
Because in my opinion, we fail to see the most important things in life.
Which leads me to think, that common sense, isnt so common nowadays afterall.

What we want, most of the times, may not necessary be what we need.