It's just that its delicate.

We might kiss, when we are alone.

nobody is watching, might take you home.

We might make out, when no bodies there.

Its not that we're scared, its just that its delicate.

So why do you fill my sorrow?

With the words you borrow?

From the only place you've know.

We might make love, in some sacred place.

The look on your face....... is delicate.

and why you sing hallelujah? if it means nothing to ya.

Why'd you sit with me..... at all....

We might live, like never before.

When there is nothing to give, how can we ask for more?

Why you sing hallejuah, if it means nothing to ya?

Why'd you sing with me...at all?

Damien Rice - Delicate

It's little wonder how things can be mangled beyond recognition with little to no effort/time.

Willful negligence? Yes sir, guilty as charged.

Take me away.

Lets hope time can solve differences. Because to be honest, I don't know what else I can offer without bending over my back and breaking it.

Haunting


































I cant remember much of the room.

I was sitting on a bed watching television in a darkened room. I think the sheets were dark purple. Almost a burgundy.

There was a girl lying down beside me under the covers. She was laying on her side with her back towards me so I couldn't see her face.

I saw something stupid on the telly and remarked to her.

"Babe, look at that, thats ridiculous"

She didnt respond.

So I got up and walked over to her side of the bed.

I cant exactly remember how she looked like. But I do recall that she had hair cut pretty short, it was jet black and quite disheveled. She had a very sharp chin.

Her eyes were a mess. Blood shot from brawling her eyes out, swollen with mascara smudged all over. Her face was tear streaked. I cannot forget how those eyes looked like. Bright red, streaked black at the side from make up. Sadness and perhaps with a hint of accusation.

I asked her what was wrong.

She replied very simply.

"You."






I hate dreams. I got this one when I took a nap just now. No, I didnt take any medication nor intoxicating substances before I went off to bed.

I hate dreams. They make me think too much.
I'm suppose to be studying but I really needed to get this off my chest.
I hope it'll make me feel better later. But I doubt it.

Is this a sign of my impending failures as a proper companion, friend and soul mate?

I hope not.

on the other hand, I think I need to stop listening to stuff like Death Cab for Cutie. too damn fucking depressing.

I dont understand nor am able to grasp this. Why am I so affected by things that are not even real? Am I losing it?

Friday cant come soon enough. I'm eager to head back but haunted at the thoughts of visiting visiting grandma and all the other trepidation's I have when I head home for holidays. 

This evening, mum dropped the following hint over the phone. She might think it was subtle but I'm sharper than that.

"Don't be too shocked when you see her. She hasn't been in the best shape."

What mum really means is that gramps is in shockingly bad health. In a very steep decline over a very short period of time.

If I was the praying sort, I would. 

But I'm not.

While the fear is very real, the worrying is furtile. 

At this point of time, I'm not really sure what it is that will set my heart and head at ease. 

Lets hope that home does the trick this time.

Because in many ways, I need it more than ever.

Really, more than fucking ever.