In other news.


L told me some stuff she wished that she didn't.

I told her it is of no import and that I can pretend I didn't hear it. Nothing would change. 

I was lying. I guess the s-tension between us is just going to get worst. 

--------

I am meeting R later. She asked to have brunch. I think R trusts me. She shares things which are difficult to share. But sometimes, I'm disinterested. Note: "disinterested", not "not interested." They mean different things. Check the dictionary. 

Why am I disinterested? Simple. It is because I don't want to be the one to try and fix her. Not that I don't want too, I just don't think its possible to fix anyone. God knows I have tried it before. 

But can I trust R? I am not sure if she realises how little she knows about me. But it isn't her fault. I have not been letting on as much as I really should. Sometimes I feel like I take a lot and give very little. And also, maybe I should stop pushing her buttons and giving her a hard time. 

I wonder if she knows why I do it and I wonder if she knows that at the same time, she really pushes my buttons and gives me a hard time in my head. 

I hope R can keep up. Because I think I really like her and I would hate it if we both fuck it up for one another. 

Maybe I am impatient but I guess we will just have to wait and see.