When you stub out a cigarette, the ashes always still glow.

You really got to be really single minded if you want to stub it out. Stub it all out.

I realised this while stubbing out a smoke at the bin just 10 minutes ago.


People just cant seem to stub things out from their lives completely.
Dont argue, it happens to me as much as it happens to you.

Yes, its annoying, but I suppose its just one of those signs that signify the ideology of "Life will fuck you over and some" .


So its mid term break. What do I find myself doing? Apart from work, I've not been too busy.
Bought some disposable Swedish furniture and assorted trinkets yesterday.
Against my better judgment, i bought a lime green chair.

Now I am wondering what the fuck am I suppose to do with a lime green chair.

The lesson to be learnt from this?
I don't know. I haven't learnt it yet.

So I'm sitting on my lime green chair, trudging through the internet. Browsing music on iTunes. Listening to the snippets available online.
MatchBox20's new album is due on the 29th this month.
Nice.


I can be terribly obsessive.
It makes me sad.

How does one find balance?
Its not easy.
But I try.


So an example of my lame attempts at finding balance.
Instead of worrying about my work and other issues.
I opt for the frivolous.

Get a new iPod? Get the white one or the black one?
hmm?
(moot. i've decided on the white one the moment I saw one. I'm just screwing around for screwing's sake.)

What shall I have for lunch today?
(moot. I got potatoe salad in the fridge and nothing else.)

What film should I watch first?
(moot. I only got Disturbia on dvd left.)


I try and busy myself with inane and ridiculous decisions.
It seems to help deviate from the more important and drastic decisions that are begging to be made.

I suppose you can say its easier to run, but the 'new' mindset that I have is that its not really running, its called "taking a break".

A breather.
A short period to revive to survive.
A little peace.



However, not a single problem has ever been solved by taking a break.



Sometimes I wonder.
Most times I worry.