New layout.

New layout.

Pastels of Grey.

Hah. Ironic.

Oh well, for easier reading, the colours are boring.


"Omg I got so many work today!"



She can't get her grammar right.
I can't see how I keep thinking, for me, she is right.

Yea, cause that would be really fucked up right? Cause you like her, and you are like, oh your ex? its ok blah blah blah. Nobody should do that. Especially not you.

But do you think she is a genunine person? Or she just wants to keep you around to hold her hand and tell her that it is alright?

Look if you really like her and you think she is a good person, then it is just circumstances then. Then perhaps it is just something you got to ride through.

But is she a good person?

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It is unnerving how history seems to repeat itself.

How do I know? How would I find out? I guess there isn't a way apart from flat out asking.

I have no issue asking. Trust me, I've never minded putting myself out there and abit of clarity will be good for everyone.

But I have an issue with putting R on the spot. She is, shall we say, delicate.

Because she is, I told myself to be patient. But right here right now, I'm not too sure of my own convictions.


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It is my perenial problem isn't it? I want it all and I always want it on my time and terms.

Am I greedy if I demand it all? I still can't quite decide.

I guess I do have more growing up to do. Hey shoot me, I never claimed to be perfect.

She asked me how I would define "love" and I told her that I would tell her another day.

I asked for hers and she said "Right now, I don't know. Maybe one day I will again."

I don't want to tell her what I think because I think she won't be able to take it. She on the other hand, doesn't even know what it is that she is thinking.

That sums it up I guess.

hmm

To be perfectly honest,

I wish I was anywhere else but at work.

I have a meeting and a shoot later but I really am not feeling up to it.

If this is what I think it is, please just tell me. and let me go.

Q: So what do you think? Are you surprised?

Kris: Yea. I am.

Q: Why?

Kris: She doesn't seem to be your type. But I never met your ex. So I don't know. But you know, its different. People you date, people you think you'd date and people that you actually love. 

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Kris is right. She isn't my type. If you met her, you would be surprised too. But am I surprised? No, not really. I know why I'm attracted to her. But I hope she realises my patience is not infinite.

----

I was speaking to L today and she said,

"You do realise that you are different? That you are strange?"

Am I? I want the same things as many people do.

Yes. Sometimes I want more. Infact, I will go ahead and admit that I demand more. But what I take, I give in equal measure. 

With J, it was difficult as I took and took and took. 

But with R, I want to give. But I'm not sure if she is able to take. 

You know, sometimes its episodes like this that makes me think karma is not just real, but a real vindictive bitch. 

At the end of the day, I'm not afraid of giving, you got to ask yourself if you are willing to take.

It is abit like poker innit? I'm coming at you, full tilt, what are you going to do?