I hate the fucking merlion.

because.

I think its ugly.

It spits all the time.

It has an endless amount of spit.

and I cant have a peaceful time when I sit beside it.

Too many people are taking photos. Tourist wave to me from their bump boats. I got the insatiable urge to flick Mr. Middle finger at them.

Ducktour amphibious vehicle rolls past nosily.

I am very annoyed.

Wind blow, merlion spit gets onto me and podie.

argh.






I sat at the merlion for 2 hours today. Alone.
waiting for the rest to finnish class. to grab some dinner and get jessie's bday present.
I got screwed by pierside in regards to pay matters. I got half a mind to quit.
I was broke. I was pissed. I was pretty unhappy. I was tired from all the late night soccer.
I was tired with all the arguments and friction. I was starving. I didnt have a camera. I didnt have a book. All i got for podie. At least i still had podie.
and i got tourist with inane smiles waving at me.

Put yourself in my shoes.(Nike Delta Force Snake Skin) Would you feel like giving them the Mr Middle treatment?



Someone up there does not like me. These few days, I like to have my friends around me. Perhaps a way to avoid certain issues which causes servere irritations within me. Today's 2 hours of enforced solitude were really. erm. I dont know. bad?

I was kinda dead.
I felt more tired than I was before sitting there doing nothing for 2 hours.
Thinking about stuff. you know, stuff.
I didnt end up very happy. I didnt end up very sad.
I didnt end up with regrets, I didnt end up with any satisfaction.
I ended up with slighty more questions.
I ended up with podie's batteries half drained.




I've come to a conclusion.
even if you see someone, but you dont have eye contact, you dont really "See" that person.
you know he is there, but you dont see him.
You get my drift?
its when you get eye contact, then that is the time that you are royally fucked. even for a second, it could potentially kill you if you didnt need it at that time.

Little wonder why I prefer to walk looking down on my feet.
I risk banging into walls but at least i avoid uneasy eye contact which is worst.






maybe, just maybe.
someone, someday, can persuade me that the merlion really is nice to look at.
I dont know.
the mat and minah couple who was sitting a few feet away seem to think it looks great.
weird.
perceptions.
and obviously, their perceptions are wrong.
lol.


aight. got to go.
mixed bag of feelings.
think my xbox can cure that?
will give it a shot.
ciao.

I'll be there. Tell me when you wanna go.



I'd arrive half an hour earlier.
Order a soda.

I'll smoke a davidoff ciggarette and laugh to Nick Hornby's book. Hi-Fidelity.

half an hour later. On the dot.

I'll spy her walking towards our table out of the corner of my eye.
Dangling from her neck is that ipod shuffle that I bought her. I smile to myself.

Shucks. I suddenly remember.
stub out my ciggarette in the ash tray. Put it on the other table.
Hide the box and the lighter in my bag.

She sits down.
Wrinkles her nose at me.
"You've been smoking."
I'll ignore her.
Too engross in my book she will think.

Digs around in my bag.
fishes out the ciggarettes.
Keeps it in her bag.
"I'll just get another packet"
I retort.
she gives me back my ciggarettes with disdain.

I'll get the attention of the elderly waiter in the tuxedo. Charming really.
"Latte for me please.
and erm.
1 apple strudel, 1 brownie and 1 coffee for the lady if its not too much trouble.
throw in some ice cream for good measure. Chocolate if you may.
Thank you."

I would continue with my book.
She'll look at the seaside view for awhile.
Digs out her book.
To-To Chan.
Not again. How many times must this woman re-read this book?
I have no idea.
Mysteries of the female mind I guess.

We'll read in silence.
Dont really need to talk.
Podie is on the table. Playing this particular song which she likes.
But I think is trash.
" Crying" by aerosmith is their best song. Not some movie tie in rubbish.
but anyway, she likes it. So I tolerate it.

Food would have arrived.
"You better eat that before it gets cold."
She wont argue with that.
Attacks the food with gusto.
Sweet stuff.
I shrug, I dont like sweet food.
"You want?"
she enquires.
I shake my head.
I drink my latte.
its not very good really.
But I guess its ok.
Probably some barrista wannabe made it.
But heck, its a nice place.

I put down my book.
I kinda like the way she eats.
carefully spooning each spoonful of ice cream.
Not like some slobs I know.
A certain Png comes to mind.

She has had enough food.
Pushes the stuff that she cant finnish away.
She takes out a strawberry menthos and throws it my way.
I catch. Appreciate it. Thanks alot. She remembers.

The dear old man would clear our plates.
I say thank you once more.
She says "xie xie."
People dont say thank you enough nowadays.
What a shame.

Out will come the coloured pens and the paper.
she'll start to doodle.
a star.
a rectangle.
a ugly cow.
something.
anything.
anything that she can imagine.
We'll write random words.
Its really quite spastic.
But I cant help smiling to myself.
We'll play tic tac toe.
I'll lose many rounds.
I wont do it on purpose.
she just is that damn good at that tic tac toe thing.

I'll write her something.
She'll read it. laugh. stare.
she is so sweet with that get back stare.
Keep it.


I'll order another round of drinks.
A lime soda and a rock melon soda.

I'll take the camera out.
We'll start messing around with it.
She'll take pictures of me.
and refuse to have any pictures of her taken.

She tries to take a picture of the skyline.
Complains to me that the photo is blur. that my camera sucks.
I'll try to explain to her why its blur.
"its too dark. Your shutter speed is set too low. your hand is not steady enough. thats why its blur. Light travels in a straight line and since you are moving, the picture will be blurry wont it?"
she understands what I say.
but then she says.
" i dont care. can i throw cammie into the sea?"
I give up.

She goes to the washroom.
Out comes my journal.
I put it in her bag.
She comes back.


She says she is sleepy.
I suggest we leave.
She'll nod.
Bill comes.
She takes out her wallet.
I'll try to grab it, she'll try to stop me.
I'll look at her.
"You want to fight with me over this?"
she glares at me.
but allows me to put her wallet in her bag.
I win. yeah.
and she still haven noticed the journal that I planted in her bag.
hah. I am smart.


We'll take a cab.
She will fiddle with my phone.
but she wont read the messages.
She know that I wont like it.
But she ask anyway.
I would say: "sure, go ahead, its nothing that you haven seen before."
of cos, she sent those messages.
dumbo.

Reach her place.
She will say "My house nice right?"
I would not agree. even if i did.
I'd say "its ok I guess."
cos its the sort of thing that I do.
I'll send her to the lift lobby.
watch her go in, and up goes the lift.

I'll go home.
thats about it really.













In an ideal world. Things would happen this way.
But as you know, its not an ideal world.
and things wont go as I wish them to be.
But I am not bitter about it.
I just go about and around it.


I'll be waiting for you to play tic tac toe again tho.
In the mean time, I'll train.
I'll try harder to beat you next time.


Is it too much to ask.
If you love a person.
there is nothing more than drinking coffee together that you would enjoy more.

But love is a big word.
a word which I dont use.
but rest assure that i know how to use it.
It cant be simpler.
Almost every song has this word in the lyrics.

Well. I guess its enough gut spilling for 1 night.
time to go.
9am class.
wtf.really.
ciao.

Really.

I am disgusted.

What do you take me for.