Are we really growing up?

Just read about jess's 'quit smoking cold turkey' regime.

Well, I'm not down to zero a day. But been keeping level at less than 7 a day.

I even managed to make my 25 piece - calmness/happiness/stinkiness/pickmeup - pack stretch 4 days.

Are we really growing up?
Giving up smoking?

Its a long hard slog. I'm not sure if I can make it for myself.










Some might say, we might find a brighter day.

A update of sorts is due I suppose.

I am taking 4 modules this semester.

Mass Com Theory

Journalism and Commu

Culture, Identities, Commu

and Editing.



Mass Com Theory and Editing are subjects that only year 2 undergrads take. But because the whiteman likes me, I'm forced to take it in my first year first semester. Not too bright I admit, but i haven't got much of a choice.


Both subjects are tough. Editing in particular is killer.
Mass com theory, with diligent studying, is a-ok.


Identity, culture and comu.
This subject?
Total tosh. bollocks.
talk cock subject.


Journo and Commu?
Alright.
best part?
Photography lectures.

Eat your heart out Jess, MX.




So how has uni life been?
Lets just say in between commuting and studying, I'm pretty much washed up on the shore. Face first in the sand. with gritty bits in between my teeth.

Not much energy to think of other stuff or entertain unimportant thoughts.
Every night, I plop into bed and within 10 minutes, I'm out. I'm clocking, on average, 5 to 6 hours sleep a day. Thats not too shabby by my standards as compared to 3 - 4 hours or non at all.

I loss weight.
I haven't been eating like I used too.
I hate the food here but yet I cant be bothered to cook.
Sometimes I just crunch on cornflakes.
I'm not complaining, I'm just stating a fact.
I suppose, when it comes to food, its just sustenance for me. I eat because I don't want to be hungry. thats all.


Writing essays after a dead brain period of 2 years is not easy. My first essay was horrendous if you ask me. I've been overwriting like a bitch for every single piece that I have to do. Looking at my drafts after a period of calm, Ive proceeded to tear up everything and rewrite.

The flow is not there and its breaking my brain and making it bleed profusely.

I certainly hope to get in the rhythm soon. I don't pay exorbitant school fees to get mediocre results.

As for interaction with university mates, its almost zero. I cant seem to be bothered to socialise.

Group work is such a chore. Its up till now that I realise I work much better alone. I don't need people to hold my hand and I certainly do not wish, want to hold any other person's hand when it comes to work.

I HATE replying my work group's emails. misspelled, bad format, bad quoting and using language that you usually use with your pals.

I am not your pal so fuck off.


an example?

"Sam, your idea is ACE!"

I mean. Fuck off!
ACE? fuck off!
and its a fuck shit piss of an idea to begin with.

Thats one of the reasons why I don't talk much during my tutorials.
I don't suffer fools. But somehow, many fools made it into the university.








What do I do apart from fulfilling the typical Asian mugger stereotype?
I watch DVDs.
Every Thursday, I hit video ez and rent at least 7 DVDs.
On weekends, I study and I watch DVDs. Sometimes I walk the dog.
Thats about it.


I usually don't have school on Thursdays and alternate Mondays.
I try as much as I can do just kick back and relax.

Today, I spent most of my afternoon at the near by starbucks. Had my lunch, a pizza and my coffee. It almost felt like back home, sitting there with a cuppa reading a book. A session like this, always seems to make me feel slightly better.

But by far, I think I enjoy Fridays the most.

I finish at noon on Fridays.
For the past 2 weeks, the charm and lure of South Bank has lead me to spend my afternoons there.

Lunch at the riverside is something that I've never done much. It is pleasant there, even in winter. Fish and Chips, a sandwich and a soda. Yea, I must admit, its pretty enjoyable.

I'd walk with camera in toll, taking photographs just for fun. Practicing being incognito, shooting people without them noticing. Not easy. (one flaw I notice with DSLRs, the shutter sound. loud.)

It always seems like the best way to end a week. Just pounding the pavement on a Friday afternoon, leaving the worries of school work till the next day.

I think yes, it is quite a way to unroll my knotted up thoughts in my head.




it is quite a conundrum when I am asked if I am happy.
Yes?
No?
Some parts good, some parts not so good?


Its not easy to answer really.

Do I want to go home?
Yes?
No?

Not a easy question to ask as well.


Coming out into the world, opening your eyes, looking back home.

I am not sure anymore.

Do I fit here?
no?
But I don't seem to fit back home as well.


I guess, I'll just see where my trusty feet brings me.

Till my next entry.

again,
Mucho Gracias, for all the support my friends.

Dairy of a Boy & a Girl.


Girl, August 20th 2007


He is acting weird today.

The plan was to meet at starbucks at 3pm this afternoon.
I was alittle late because I was held up at grandma's lunch function.

When I got there, he seemed slightly unhappy. I wonder if he is angry at me for being late.

He seemed very subdued today. He just sat there drinking his coffee and not talking much.

He didnt even seem excited when I gave him the book that I bought him.


We went for dinner thereafter. He left it up to me to decide where to take dinner which was unusual. It seems like he didnt care.

He didnt say much during dinner. He didnt finnish his food which wasnt normal.

When he sent me back, not a word was exchanged on the taxi.

I asked him whats wrong.
He just shrugged it of and replied "alls well."

I am sure he was hiding something.



At my door, I kissed him on the cheek and said " I love you."

He gave a slight smile.

and muttered "thanks."

and he just left.

I certainly wasnt looking for thanks.

I waited till late, no SMS, call or a message on MSN from him.

I'm sure he has had a change or heart.
I think he is going to leave me.

My notebook is wet.
I dont know why I'm crying.

Maybe he really is leaving.

Tonight, I shall fall asleep broken. I hope tmr will be more gentle with me.












Boy, August 20th 2007


man utd lost to man city.

CCB FUCKING MORONS! $@#%$^$&%*%

Ok.

PM rally speech.

altho im here in brisbane, i get updates from reliable sources k.

first bone.
CPF. wait until 65 then can draw.
one month draw little bit. not enough? your pasar.

if i die before all my CPF finnish, my money go to my kids or wife.

if you die, no will, no kids, no wife, your money go government.

is that why they dont allow one time withdrawals anymore?

fuck, i confirm leave a will.

on my will it reads
anyone but g-unit.


Bone2
more than half singaporean only got more than 45k in their CPF.

really? really? never bluff?

I didnt know that half of singaporeans are living in poverty after working for so many years like the great g-unit directed us to.
maybe not being elites got something to do with it.


last time, 55 can retire.
then become 60.
then 62.
now 65

rational is people nowsadays dies at 80 years old.

do they know what the term "flogging a dead horse" means?

very apt chiu noes?



when i'm 60, i dont want to work anymore.
what i want, is big titted young ladies serving me pina colada by the pool while i play video games all day long.

i really dont fancy working at maccers flipping burgers and getting bellowed at for flipping it alittle too slow.


and besides, not everyone wants to work till they are 80 plus.
take the hint man.