on 5th feb

via sms,

"Dude, whats your highest education level?"

"Dip. Law n management. why?"

"nothing much. just filling up some forms."

"Boss, serious, whats it for? Dont put me up on classified ads, Im not for sale yo."






in the afternoon,

via Chief screaming for me, when I'm actually just beside her.

"YI QIAN!!!!!!!!!!!!! Aiyo, where is that boy ah?"

"yes mdm, Im here. Just beside you."

"Oh yes. I just got this in the email. Its about you. Read."
____________________________________________________

From Cpt Luq
To: Maj CO,Cpt S1, 2WO Chief, 1WO RSM, Maj S3, CPT S4.
Subject: Job well done.

I would like to commend our R&D IC on a job extremely well done. This is one soldier whose background, attitude, passion and work ethics deserves recognition. He has proven himself to be the right man for the job and it is recognized by those not from our unit too.

A typical R&D IC's job is to facilitate the preparation and submission of the paperwork i.e. the soldier's performance record and the likes for a court martial. he is expected to accompany the Defending Officer to the Court Martial and assist in the paper transactions required by CMC. That is all.

A typical Defending officer is expected to go to court with a mitigation plea and read it out for the judge after the sentenced is passed. This time, the process is more complicated, with the case going to trial when the soldier decided to plead not guilty.

Typically, a laywer would be appointed to defend such a case but in this instance, due to the finanical state of the soldier, I had to take up the responsiblity of defending him in court martial against no less the Head Military Prosecutor. It was a mountain of a task and the amount of preparation that is required is not only redious but it goes beyond anything that was taught to me in OCS, my education and my life experiences put together.

CPL Yi Qian has gone beyond his job requirements and has spent many nights working with me, in the weeks leading to the the court martial, preparing. he assisted me in the researching of case law, going through records of precedent cases, going through the various arguments that will and might come up in court and preparing witnesses for defence. We were thumbing through the SAF Act and Penal Codes and browsing throught countless precedents in lawnet. His commimtment to this endeavour shows morst during the last 5 days before the court martial. He worked with me in the weekends preparing the Defense Submission and Mitigation Plea. He readily adapted to my schedule with no complaints. ( I'm Task Force Commander for CIA, so this means that he was with me working on the case at REALLY odd hours e.g. 2100 hrs to 0500hrs for a few days) During Court Martial, he was by my side and giving me advice on the questions to ask and approaches to adopt during the cross examination. in short, I was very dependant of him throughtout the procedure.

Althought we didn not win the case, CPL *****'s sentence was reduced significantly due to the Judge's recognition of the amount of effort and support the unit has put in for the defence. The Chief Military prosecutor personally commended CPL Low on his role and contributions to the case. He even offered him a job.

CPL Yi Qian has been the key sucess factor in the prepartion and execution of the dfence arguments for the court martial of CPL *****. I would not have managed to pull this off without him. His dedication and aptitude was in the right place and should be justly recognized and compensated. therefore I am submitting a recmmendation of 05days off for the amount of man hours he has put in and I am recommneding for a special commendation by the unit i.e. Letter Of Commendation by CO. This commendation letter will also go along way to help him if he should decide to pursue higher education in his current major. His efforts should not go unrecognised. For your kind Considerations please.

Cheers.

CPT Luq
__________________________________


From MAJ CO
To: Cpt S1, 2WO Chief, 1WO RSM, CPT Luq, Maj S3, CPT S4.
Subject: Job well done.

Approved.
Chief, please take facillitate, prepare the letter of commendation for Yi Qian.

_____________________________________________________










Letter of Commendation?

For what?
Really, what for?


We lost the case.
The dude had to do his time.
I dont see why I should get something out of nothing.
I guess what Im getting is just a compensation for the effort I put in.
But what compensation am I going to get for feeling fucked up for losing the case and losing one whole fucking month of my life?

I thank Cpt Luq for all his praises and effort for doing this for me.
i really appreciate it.

however, other than Cpt Luq, all the other people and all the other ways that things are done around here are just too fucked up for me to contemplate, understand and accept.


At the moment, its a mixed bag of feelings.
I dont really know what to make of this.
But well, i got tmr, the weekend and the whole of monday and tuesday to think about this.
I'm supposed to be presented with my letter, my best soldier cert and medal this wed during a parade.
But I dont feel like turning up.
Besides, there are more important things to do then attending parades.

"yo dude what can I get you today?"

"I'd take my usual. tell you what, make it a triple mac. largest you got."

"shit, thats pretty heavy, you need that much?"

"yea sorta. Im not feeling too good."

"aights."

"Triple esp mac coming right up."






I sat there for an hour.
Sipping on my coffee.
I had my feet on the chair.
I wasnt in a daze.
On the contary, somehow it was clearer than it ever was.
I smoked 4 sticks.
Watching the smoke dissipate.

"yo, how's the drink?"

"strong. was what I needed. Thanks."

"just for you bro."

Its was cold, thick and bitter all at once.
Very bitter. Triple shot, what did I expect?
Caramel Kitkats?

balmy afternoon, i thought to myself.
The drink bought relief, or a semblence of the relief that I was looking for.

I just sat there.
Thinking.
I let it wash over my head.
I let reason take over.
Understanding, learning, accepting and hating it all at once.

The worst thing, the worst thing that happened that afternoon.
was realisation creeping in.


It was really scorching hot yesterday late afternoon.
But I needed a walk.
Badly.


I walked.



I went on a shooting frenzy.
I walked the esplanade.
I walked the bridge.
I even visted the fucking merlion.
I walked with my headphones blaring, the music barely registering.

I shot quickly.
Without thinking.
I just shot.

I walked the fullerton.
I walked the bay.
I passed by pierside.
I ended up at the old clifford pier.
Where I took a million and one shots.

I retraced my route, took more pictures.

I was thirsty. I needed another smoke.
I needed to sit down.
I needed to breathe.


I sat along the bay.
On one of those comfortable chairs they have out at fullerton starbucks.
I got myself another coffee. My third of the day. Tpl Esp.
I put down my cameras.
I lit up.
I surveyed the damage that laid before me.
2 whole rolls & 78 digital photos.
I took a sip.

thats 102 photos in total.

Without looking, I already knew that, thats 102 fucked up photos in total.

oddly, I felt better.


I sat.
and relaxed.

The slight breeze felt wonderful.
I spied on little aircrafts in the distant.
I looked at the little cars on the ECP during rush hour.

I put away my cameras and stuff.
Tidied up my bag.
Collected my thoughts.

I was at ease. at last.

Took out some draft paper.
Took out my trusty stabilo felt pen.



I drafted my goodbye.