I have been sold for this.
Yi Qian's North East Line Pet Peeve.
Suitable for all ages.
No violence , blood or gore.
Family oriented program.
Below, is just a gentle reminder of basic etiquette while on the Mass Rapid Transport system. This gentle reminder is bought to you by the caring production team of Tragic Comedy.
One.
In the morning, before you go to work. Please take a bath. If you have BO, please use cologne or perfume depending on your sexual orientation. Not gender. Cause in the morning. I just cant fucking stand those people who rush out without cleaning up. The stench is overpowering.
Duex
Please wait for your turn at the ticketing booth. Please, do not, expect people to give way to you. Unless, you are elderly, pregnant or handicapped. That way, people would gladly give way to you. Do not , for a moment, just because the big plasma screen say that your train is arriving in 1 min, expect people to allow you to jump queue. Its your own dumb ass fault for waking up late. So phack off.
San
Please give way to the handicapped, pregnant and the elderly. If not, you would suffer the humilation of being pointed out in public by civic minded youngsters like me who dont give a nabeh chee bye about how you feel.
Se
Please stand on the left hand side of the escalator. Commuters who are in a rush need you to clear a path for them on your right. Do not, under ANY circumstance, stand on the right side of the escalator UNLESS you are running up or down the escalator. Its fucking inconsiderate people like you who make people like me late. And why should I be late when you are the wrong one you douche bag?
Muuuuutttthhhhhhaaaaaaaaa.
Lima
Please wait for the passengers to alight before you get on the train. Cause if you dont, how the fuck are the rest of the people gonna get in if you dont let the people inside come out? Dont you fucking have any brains? Some people are really kam puar inconsiderate. I want to kan them very long liao.
Six
Please give up any seats to the eldery, pregnant and handicapped. Please do not stand at the wheel chair designated areas. Its for the wheelchair. Are you a wheelchair? If not, kindly move your tart of an arse off that area.
And that applies to you. You motherfuckers who pretend to be alseep when the old dude walks in all wobbly like jelly.
Qi
You know those poles in the train? Yes. Please, do not lean on them. Its not the correct way to use them. You are suppose to grab it. Not lean on it. If you lean on it, how are the others gonna grab to it? You wanna pole dance? Fucking go find another pole you asswipe.
Huit
You. The one with the sweaty arm pits. Yes you! You fucking cess pit. You is ka ni na beh smelly you know? So DONT, raise your hand to grab the handles. You will kill someone! Na beh, if baby smell liao die how? kao chee bye one. Please, be alittle more considerate. grab the verticle poles discreetly. If there is the pole leaner, flash ur armpit at him. Results guranteed. and please, invest in some deodorant. They arnt that expensive.
Sembilan
Please set your phone to silent. Dont you know that you are disturbing other commuters when your fiacking phone rings? Oh wait, it does not ring. It plays some irritating tune that pisses everyone off. With a phone like that you are just sending out a message of " I AM A ATTENTION WHORE. LOOK AT ME. LOOK AT MY PHONE. WAH, I POPULAR, GOT PEOPLE CALL AND SMS ME!" Fuck you. Whats wrong with you? Whats your muthafiacking problem? Do you know in japan and europe, people turn off their phones in the train?
Dix
Last but not least. Please, Please, Please do not. PLAY YOUR FUCKING MUSIC SO LOUD. THAT I CAN FUCKING HEAR THE NAMBY PAMBY SISSYFIED POP SHIT BUMMBLE GUM CRAP OR TECHNO FIACK WHICH IS WHAT YOU MORONS CALL MUSIC..
phew, let me take a breather.
okok. can continue now.
KA NI NA BEH CAO CHEE BYE. ARE YOU DEAF? WHAT IS YOUR CHEE BYE PROBLEM? YOUR MOTHER GIVE BIRTH TO YOU WITH DEFECTIVE EARS AH? WHAT THE FIACK DID YOU DO TO IT? INSERTED A DILDO IN IS IT? SHEESH, YOU SHOULD BE NOMINATED FOR A DARWIN AWARD. DO YOU KNOW THAT THERE ARE PEOPLE TRYING TO READ? STUDY? MAKE OUT? FUCKING BE ALITTLE MORE CONSIDERATE CAN OR NOT? Gao chee bye you know
Thank you for taking the time to read the above 10 gentle reminders. We hope you try and strive to become the perfect public transport user. Please remember what you have read here and please spread the good behaviour. Thank you
This gentle reminder, has been bought to you by the caring production team of tragic comedy.
We hope you enjoyed it.
executive producer
Nutter Lucifer