Even when the sun is shinning, I cant avoid the lightning.

So yes. I'm back from my little get away from singapore with all its pressures, stress and idiosyncrasies that never fail to amaze, astound and disgust me.

So how was my holiday?

Well, it was great.

We didnt exactly do anything strenuous or exciting actually.
We just relaxed.

and it was uber

Its something to be able to forget everything else and just be yourself.

I survived 5 days without my cell phone and the internet. (well, I cheated abit, I wrote some emails on my cell to be sent upon my return, but well, I had the spare time to write some, so what the hell.)
So its pretty good I would say.

During the holiday, we got loads of grub, sleep, sun, sand and sea.

Infact, I just uploaded the photos to my mac. I havent yet processed them. I'll wait till I collect the prints from the underwater camera , the holga and process them all in one shot. I think they'll be ready something next week, so I guess I'll sit tight.

I promise pictures of masks, snorkels and kingkongs swimming.


Anyway...
Did you know that little fishes bite?

Yes they do.

The little mofos.


Well then, I'll blog more about the trip when I get the pictures done.










We Do, What We Need To Be Free.
We Go Blind, When We Needed To See.

We're growing up in a world that has devalued the ideals of the word 'love' because we're more interested in looking out for ourselves than putting anyone else first.

How does one stay on the line between self interest, self preservation, self defense and the kind of "fuck-all-fuck-everything-I-dont-fucking-care" love for someone that we sometimes feel?

If we fight we think we have to win.
If we argue we refuse to back down.
If we perform a chore or task we expect a favour in return.
We play tit for tat.
We hurt each other and take a perverse joy in doing so.
We can deny it but we never seem to see it.
and sometimes
The worst of all, we hurt ourselves.







The Japanese - they had no word for love until the West 'invaded'.

Their relationships were therefore made up of degrees of friendship, lust and affection.

Modern relationships are no different.
You can apply friendship, lust and affection to every single interpersonal relationship you have.

It is unreasonable to believe that you could never love another person - although keeping realistic, some people may never because people are different. But there is no rule of the human mind that says you can only love one single person.

Varying degrees.
Not one can place a quantitative numeral on the degrees in which we love, cherish and care for another being.
But sometimes we try.
Songs try.

Sometimes we say the words.
I Love You.

Do you love your parents?
When was the last time you told your parents that you loved them?

15 year old couples say their 'love you's a dozen times a day.
I suppose this is what we call the principal of diminishing returns.
Because a few weeks down the road, they could very well split.

When you never ever split from your parents who have loved you your whole life, even if they never uttered those words in the time of your entire existence.

I suppose that sometimes, the most precious messages in the world are left unsaid so as to preserve their meaning and feelings.

But I'm proud.
I'm proud to say that I've never felt more honest and sincere on the 3 occasions in which I admitted and stated how I felt.
Once, it didn't even come out as a statement but rather a admission with a accompanying sigh.



In our life. We go round. Big circles in our life and return to the starting point of our interpersonal relationships.

We evaluate these relationships and most times, we find that we return to what we started feeling for a particular person.

Love for your parents.
Fellowship and camaraderie with your friends.
The overwhelming affection and a desire to care and provide for your potential/ life partner.

The intensity of the feelings may have dampened or may have intensified.
But we return to think the best of them. The best of times that you have spent together and remember the best of that person.

We sometimes fail to see how they have disappointed or hurt us in the past because we are mostly not brave enough to grab hold of those memories and justify why we still love that person despite of everything.

Dredging up the past will make it plain to see that enough is enough.

But we never do dredge up the past. Because we cant. We cant bring ourselves to forsake a person and the beautiful memories that we hold.


We are weak.

But in emotions, we find strength.

With strength, we forgive.

With forgiveness, we give a chance.

With chance, we habour a hope.

And with hope,

We dream for a future.






I hope.

Most times I try.

Sometimes I don't.

And when I don't,

I usually find myself back where I came from.

Hoping.












Its been a long post. I don't know why, but I always do one of these posts after a holiday. I suspect that its developing into a very bad habit.

but anyway,
good night ladies and gentlemen.

I've gone through 5, 6 cigarettes (who counts?) blogging and its already 4am.

and I've got to get to my grand's at 9am.

Its time I hit the sack.

Blog soon.
I promise.