Part1 -> call 1900-912-0903

call and vote for contestant number 10.

Its my mum's idea of a joke. She sent in one photo of my grandma when she was 20 years old to the xin min newspaper. For a competition looking " Most stylish Grandma" . Its on page 11 of sunday's paper.
I suppose its a kind of a paegent or something. My grandma is suppose to go to IMM for some kinda paegent on sunday...werid shit i tell you. Why my mum entered her, I have no idea. must be my physcotic mum.

whatever it is, my grandma is so excited that she is hopping like a energizer bunny( no mean trick when you are 72). She's calling her friends and mahjong khakis and whatever.

So , being the fillial grandson I am, I would try to garner her some support.( and votes)
each calls cost 20 cents.
But the problem is its in chinese.....so those who cant speak chinese cant understand.
But its easy lar, when you call, let them talk shit
then after the first pause, u press 10 followed by a hex.
after the cheena voice rumbles again , there will be a pause, then u enter ur IC followed by a hex.
after the cheena voice talk again, you enter your tele number and press hex.

easy enuff right?
Please call and support. Cause I want her to win.....

Setting an exemplemenry example is HGF, he has called and voted a mind blowing 10 times!! Thanks for the support.
Everycall helps! remember, contestant number 10!!! DIX DIX DIX DIX.

Closing on wednesday...not much time left...so call.1900-912-0903 Please call!





part 2--> Its a zoo out there.

erm, that day, went for supper with peri head, chimp and daniel of the leong variety..
we went to newton and stuff. but thats not the interesting part, apart from edwin being late for 2 hours.
and not to gloss over the fact that shawn panic after we all sat in the car and drove off without him. As in, he really panic at 4am at the newton hawker center...funny i tell you.

But nvm, we were bored. We wanted to shoot some pool at first, but there was no 24 hr pool place which we knew off, so we thougt, hell, lets just go for a car ride....

But then...some idiot propose we go 'rounding'

for the uninitated, rounding is to head to the red light district and check prices...ahem, i guess i dont need to go further?

Well, anyway, we drove there ( hey, dont look at me, it was not my idea and i was not driving. *points to ed*) AND, we went watching.
its abit like watching animals in the zoo. In the safety of the car.
bloody disgusting.
we got chased by a dog while in the car. Scared the shit out of shawn.
there were like pimps all over the place......
bapoks running amok
chinese bapok, malay bapok, indian bapok, thai bapok ...the works....
prostitutes....all over the place....wearing obscenely little clothes.
ed driving into a dead end...with a haunted house at the end....
Felt like puking. Shawn wanted to stick his head out of the window and shout to the prostitutes( i dont know for what lar), but he didnt as he was afraid of all the pimps around....
freaking disgusting. but highly intriguing.

After awhile, i got sick and we all left.............wahahahhahahaha.
shit, we were that bored. But still, I have seen a side of geylang that I've not seen before. and I'm in no hurry to go back there late at night or early in the morning.

If thats something that even I do not want to do, its certainly safe for you to assume that you should not go there for your personal safety and health.

yea , tats about it, thinking bad, i think i feel sick already.
alright, good night everyone. remember to call and vote!

Tonights song, is kinda kiddish. I'll do anything. By Simple plan.

Another day is going by
I'm thinking about you all the time
But you're out there
And I'm here waiting

And I wrote this letter in my head
'Cuz so many things were left unsaid
but now you're gone
And I can't think straight

This could be the one last chance
To make you understand

I'd do anything
Just to hold you in my arms
To try to make you laugh
Somehow I can't put you in the past

I'd do anything
Just to fall asleep with you
Will you remember me?
'Cuz I know I won't forget you

Together we broke all the rules
Dreaming of droping out of school
And leave this place
to never come back

So now maybe after all these years
If you miss me have no fear
I'll be here
I'll be waiting

This could be the one last chance to make you understand
And I just can't let you leave me once again

I close my eyes
And all I see is you
I close my eyes
I try to sleep I can't forget you
nanana (...)
And I'd do anything for you

I'd do anything
To fall asleep with you
I'd do anything
There's nothing I won't do
I'd do anything
To fall asleep with you
I'd do anything
'Cuz I know I won't forget you






the song pretty much says it all.

I'm a dumb fuck.

shit.
No good.
haiz.
Shouldnt have done that.
very insensitive of me.
inspite of all her shit, I could still count her as my friend.
But fuck, wrong move by me.....
even tho she does not blame me ,
she wont trust me as much anymore.
this is no good.
Nothing ever seems to turn to gold for me.
All they do is turn into shit.

Our friendship is quite fragile.
Some one once told me, support is what she needed,
thus i should tolerate everything that she throws at me.
and give her all the support that I can.
after all, thats what friends are for.

Even tho I can put it on her lack of her humour and other stuff,
I cant lie to myself that there were things i should have stopped.
I should have taken more responsibitly over this matter.

What she said was right, no matter what I do now,
this matter will not be that easily resolved.
Its a matter of trust, once some of it is taken away,
it will never be returned.

Even tho I have apologised umpteen times, it still does not feel right.
at this point of time,
I'm just relieved that she can still forgive me.

I regret. very much so.
argh!




Song for supper? Main course would be When I look to the sky. Performed by Train.

When it rains it pours and opens doors
And floods the floors we thought would always keep us safe and dry
And in the midst of sailing ships we sink our lips into the ones we love
That have to say goodbye

And as I float along this ocean
I can feel you like a notion that won't seem to let me go

Cause when I look to the sky something tells me you're here with me
And you make everything alright
And when I feel like I'm lost something tells me you're here with me
And I can always find my way when you are here

And every word I didn't say that caught up in some busy day
And every dance on the kitchen floor we didn't dance before
And every sunset that we'll miss I'll wrap them all up in a kiss
And pick you up in all of this when I sail away

Whether I am up or down or in or out or just plane overhead
Instead it just feels like it is impossible to fly
But with you I can spread my wings
to see me over everything that life may send me
When I am hoping it won't pass me by

And when I feel like there is no one that will ever know me
there you are to show me









We need to talk. But I'm not ready to speak to you yet. Because I dont know what to say. Perhaps, you could tell me what you want me to say and I will say it. If it makes you happy.

Morning comes too early and evening comes too late.

I'm a mess.

Sometimes, I'm such a coward. I keep running away from the issues in my life and some of the responsiblities that I have.
Its always the case, I always try to advoid instead of confronting.

I mean, running is ok ,for awhile. But it gets very tiring very soon .
But I cant help it if I dont have the courage to face up to some things.
So I dream. I seem to zone out alot nowadays. I find it easier to think when I'm alone.
Yet when I'm alone, I am lonely. Thus I occupy myself with outings and lepak sessions with my friends.

However I no longer find them as entertaining as before as the problems are always in my head. I think of them on the bus, when I am with my friends and almost every waking moment.
I stress however its none of my friend's fault that I am bored. Infact, if any one is to be blamed, it should be me. I zone out and day dream too much nowadays. I think I am turning into less of a sport and more of a bore. Books are a solace, tho they can only bring you so much joy and capture so much attention.

But then, what would life be without problems?
If I am to come out of all these problems, I would be a better person. If not, a more knowledgeable person.
Problems usually come from changes. As fn always points out, change is the only constant. I am inclined to agree with that. But still, some times, we cant deny the huge problems that change brings along with it.

In my case, its probably the lack of change which is perplexing. To me at least.
Somehow, I want things to change but some how I dont. But theres nothing to ensure that the change would be for the better and not for the worst. No change made is ever 100% certain. A change for the worst is what i fear because as things stand, its already quite bad.

Therein lies the consequence.
Change can be initiated. Do you know how rediculously easy is it to cause change? All i have to do is to pick up my handphone, press afew buttons and viola...there you have it.
I can cause the change. But there is this little problem of consequence.
Perhaps, I dont want things to change. Because the logical side of me tells me that the consequences would not be pleasant.
But the illogical side of me begs for me to do something drastic.
I am a risk taker. But even I am not that dumb to risk something that precious to me.
But then...here comes the problem. I am not happy in the situation where I am in presently.

Any idiot will change his situation when he is not happy in it. But I'm not. I'm not changing the situation even tho it brings me discomfort and sometimes makes me very upset.

But some how deep inside me, I know that I must do something about this. But then, heres another problem. Every decision I make will affect other people. How do I make change which does not affect the other party? Will i cause anguish? or perhaps even cause anger? Anger is a terrible emotion if you all havent noticed.

But what if the other party or parties does not even give a shit about the change that you have made? What if they dont feel anything?
If thats the case, havent I just killed myself when I have achieved absoultly nothing even when after I go through so much to change things?

If i just go ahead and do what I want, that will be incredibly selfish of me. Yet...... its difficult. So very difficult.

A choice. I must make. But I dont want to do it so soon. Perhaps, I need more time.

I dont hope. Hope that I give myself is worth nothing. Hope that you give yourself is a picture painted with beatiful colours and in it, lies all you ever wanted and dreamed. But as we all know, and I assume we are all sensible adults, that hopes , like wishes, seldom come true.

The more you hope, the more you hurt.


I have written alot today. I'm not sure if it all makes sense. These are my thoughts. I was thinking about all these today. On the bus, in the library and at the airport. Its not an easy piece to understand, even I struggled to understand what i was writing about much les come to grips with it. But I thank you if you have taken the time to read the whole piece.

Thanks for your time. Good night everyone.


Breathing. By lifehouse. enjoy.

I'm finding my way back to sanity again
Though I don't really know what
I'm gonna do when I get there
Take a breath and hold on tight
Spin around one more time
And gracefully fall back to the arms of grace

'Cause I am hanging on every word you say
And even if you don't want to speak tonight
That's alright, alright with me
'Cause I want nothing more than to
Sit outside Heaven's door and listen to you breathing
Is where I want to be, yeah...
Where I wanna be...

I am looking past the shadows
Of my mind into the truth and
I'm trying to identify
The voices in my head
God, which one is you
Let me feel one more time
What it feels like to feel alive
And break these calluses off of me
One more time

'Cause I am hanging on every word you say
And even if you don't want to speak tonight
That's alright, alright with me
'Cause I want nothing more than to sit
Outside your door and listen to you breathing
Is where I want to be, yeah...

I don't want a thing from you
Bet you're tired of me, waiting
For the scraps to fall
Off of your table to the ground
La Da Da La Da Da Da Da Da
'Cause I just want to be here now

'Cause I am hanging on every word you're sayin'
Even if you don't wanna speak tonight, that's alright, alright with me
'Cause I want nothing more
Than to sit outside Heaven's door
And listen to you breathing
It's where I wanna be, yeah

Where I wanna be...
Where I wanna be...






Please, never and dont go quiet on me.
My part. Perhaps I never did do enough.

How many Yi Qians do you know?

Check out the 1 Eye Monster! Panasonic DMC FZ-10

To take photos of you. Black white if you like. Blue if you so desire. At the fiscus tree if you want.

My name appeared on american idol. the thing where people can sms in... Asking me too call when I see the msg. Call who? Call What? Him, Her or a It?
So I am asking you all, how many Yi Qians do you all know?
At this point of time, I am hoping for more than 1......

But then......argh. Screw it.

Was a vietnamese soldier today. Along with peri head, daniel of the leong variety, Gemuk tak scan, OLP and Shawn chimp.
Play Battlefield vietnam at Katong... superb session.. Bill came out to 8.50 each...we didnt wanna leave the place..... but we had too.
went home after that..was broke ah..till the point of it being embaressing.

Anyway, gotta run. My book is calling me, dying to be read. and returned. to the library. of. tp.its.overdued.

Tonights song. Will be. Dont Speak. By No Doubt...... from the critically acclaimed album TRAGIC KINGDOM. but no, I am not a fanatic fan of No Doubt.

You and me
We used to be together
Every day together always

I really feel
I'm losing my best friend
I can't believe
This could be the end

It looks as though you're letting go
And if it's real,
Well I don't want to know

Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me 'cause it hurts
Don't speak
I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me 'cause it hurts

Our memories
They can be inviting
But some are altogether
Mighty frightening

As we die, both you and I
With my head in my hands
I sit and cry

Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me 'cause it hurts
Don't speak
I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me 'cause it hurts

It's all ending
I gotta stop pretending who we are...
You and me
I can see us dying ... are we?

Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me 'cause it hurts
Don't speak
I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me 'cause it hurts





You dont have to make everyone or anyone happy or even be nice. If you did that, you would be very tired.
But the important questions to ask and the ones which I am always asking are ' is it because of a lack of trying?' and
'If you could, would you?'
I cant answer my own questions. Even now.

Look at this and tell me you wont fall in love with it.


Here you go. You really like the colour orange right?

We beat horse pee year 2.
2-1. Bad tempered match. Because of one idiot. He is mad. He thinks he is wrestling. WWF wannabe gone wrong.

Luwin has gone bananas. He has bleached his hair whitish grey.
I gonna join him. Looks kinda fun. Gotta bleach it 4 times tho...I bet it hurts.

But not as painful as...wahahhahaa. shant say it.


Tonights song is, The Reason by Hoobastank
Listen to it! Its on the radio quite often nowadays.

I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I found a reason for me
To change who I use to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you

I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish I could take it all away
And me the one who catches all your tears
That's why I need you to hear

I found a reason for me
To change who I use to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you
And the reason is you
And the reason is you
And the reason is you

I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I found a reason for me
To change who I use to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you
I found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you




I dont know what you are supposed to feel. But i certainly dont want you to be upset.

10:30. Timbusu Pitch.
Law Vs Hospitality and Management.



I will be slipping on this pair.
Die the horsepee shall. Under this Nike Air Zoom Total 90 II.

Will report once the score is out. Lets hope the law team kicks ass!
ciao, gotta catch some sleep now.

Song? Tonights song is by Cinderella Called HeartBreak Station.
enjoy it people.
Goodnight everyone.

Waiting at the station
Tears filling up my eyes
Sometimes the pain you hide
Burns like a fire inside
Look out my window
Sometimes it's hard to see
The things you want in life
Come and go so easily


She took the last train
Out of my heart
She took the last train
And now I think I'll make
A brand new start
She took the last train
Out of my heart

Watching the days go by
Thinking 'bout the plans we made
Days turn into years
Funny how they fade away
Sometimes I think of those days
Sometimes I just hide away
Waiting on that 9:20 train
Waiting on a memory

She took the last train
Out of my heart
She took the last train
And now I think I'll make
A brand new start
She took the last train
Out of my heart

My lady's on the fly
And she's never coming back
My love is like a steam train
Rolling down the tracks yea, yeaa

She took the last train
Out of my heart
She took the last train
And now I think I'll make
A brand new start
She took the last train
Out of my heart





I never once said its your fault. Never blamed you, Never will.

Since I dont have you.

Any idea how big the chapter on agriculture is ? Fucking big i tell you! sure die.
Thats my brother speaking on the phone. He is damn sick of studying, his exams in 2 weeks. The irony, i finish my exams early, but the house is like a tomb because the other 2 has to study....hahahahahhahahahahahahaha, why am i saying it like its a bad thing?!? wahhahahhahahahahahahahhaa

oh yea, HGF, will explain to you what you were unhappy that day about this blog when I see you. It has something to do about things that happened a long long time ago. Remember 5am at the bridge about a year ago? and you accused me of crying? U fucktard!

Orait, yesterday have been most interesting..only after the paper of cos. But I am not gonna talk about it, to damn much to say. too damn lazy.


its been an hour since i typed the sentence above. Its not for the lack of content that I have not written anything, but rather I dont know how to put what I am thinking or feeling into words.

Perhaps, perhaps i will do so once i think of a way to do it. For the time being, I think I just want to savour this after exam period for awhile. Enjoy this awhile longer..


Since I dont have you, tonights song will be Since I Dont Have You By Guns n Roses. Enjoy this song everyone. Goodnight. Going to read to take my mind off things.


I don't have plans and schemes,
And I don't have hopes and dreams.
I, don't have anything,
Since I don't have you.

And I don't have fond desires,
And I don't have happy hours.
I don't have anything,
Since I don't have you.

And I don't have happiness
and I guess I never will love again.
When you walked out on me,
In walked the misery,
And he's been here since then.

I don't have love to share,
And I don't have one who cares.
I don't have anything,
Since I don't have...
you,you,you
you, you, you

And I don't have love to share
And I don't have one who cares
I don't have anything
Since I don't have you

Since I don't have you











I told you not to read those things in the phone. But you did. Now how do you feel? They were there for a reason and the reason just might be you.

Always take the escalator on the extreme left which will bring you right up to the travelator.

Situation:

1 Driver and 2 illegal drivers.(no licence lar)
3 cars. One Pink, One orange and one black.
Driver of pink car is this pretty boy with peroxide hair. He has a driving licence. We shall call him peri head.
Driver of black car is a chimpanzee who uses alot of wax for his hair. We shall call him chimp
Driver of orange car knowns not the meaning of danger. We shall call him Lucifer.
8 Laps around the treacherous circuit with heavy traffic.

Race:
Orange car is in the lead at the start, followed by the Pink and the Black.

Mistake by lucifer on the gears enable Peri head and chimp to overtake him. Lucifer is furious. Peri-Head is acting cool to attract the babes and chimpy is being the chimp.

Lucifer gives chase , by lap 2, he has caught up with chimpy who is eating a banana while driving.
Lucifer wants chimp to flip. Chimp is stupid, seeing lucifer behind him , he thinks of taking the faster route.
But the faster route involves driving close to the wall. Alas, he didnt notice it.
Lucifer , being the observant one that he is, smiles gleefully. Driving next to chimp, he forces chimp nearer and nearer towards the wall on chimps right.

Finally, a left turn. Lucifer times his move to perfection, at the apex of the turn, he forced chimp to ram into the wall on the right sideways, causing chimpy's car to flip off the track.
Chimpy lands some distance away, shaken but still ok. Car is pretty damaged tho, manages to continue. Chimp is scared.

By this time, Peri-head has consolidated quite a lead. Driving smoothly and lapping in the fast 19secs.
Lucifer is giving chase hard. He manages to see Peri Head's tail on the 6th lap. Taunts Peri-Head. Muauaahahahaha.

Lucifer tries to take Peri-Head on turn 4 of lap 6, but Peri Head cuts off Lucifer's route. Great drving by Peri!

Lucifers rams Peri- head's car on the rear on turn 2 of lap 7, Peri Head does not yield! Infact, he jammed his brake infront of Lucifer! Causing Lucifer to swerve away while spewing profanities. Superb defensive driving from the Peroxide boy!

Unknown to Peri head and Lucifer, chimp has managed to catch up with both of them.

Lap 7 concludes with Peri-Head holding a VERY slight lead over Lucifer with chimpy catching up fast.

Peri Head at this point is nervous but determined to win the race.
Lucifer just wants to flip Peri Head's car and hopefully win the race if it is convinient.
Chimpy just wants to win the bananas at the end of the race!

Lap 8 the last lap starts with peri in the lead.
Lucifer tries again to take peri on turn 2, but peri blocks expertly.
Lucifer tries a fake manuver, but peri is not easily tricked. Peri Holds the racing line like it is his girl friend.
Lucifer is stressed. Another 2 turns left and he will have no time to flip Peri.

Chimp at this point catches up with peri and lucifer who is fighting like crazy with each other.
Learning from his past experience, Chimpy decides that he is gonna advoid the fight.
He thinks it will be smart to creep past the 2 by driving on the right side advoiding both of em.
BUT, he forgets that the wall is on the right hand side!
He goes anyway.

But too bad for him, Lucifer and Peri Head spots him.
Peri Head decides to deal with Chimpy first. He veers towards the right, trying to force Chimpy on the wall.
Chimpy touches the wall but does not flip. Peri head didnt veer into him violently enuff.

Lucifer thinks to himself " Jeez, I think if i want it done right, I will have to do it myself."
He proceeds to veer violently into Peri Head who inturn smashes into chimpy's car which inturns forces chimpy into the wall AGAIN. which inturn causes Chimpy to flip AGAIN. Chimpy is out of the race. He is crying for his mama at this point.

With turn 3 full of action, peri head and Lucifer is heading for turn 4. The one who comes out of turn 4 will reach the home straight and will easily win the race.

Turn 4 is approaching fast. Lucifer decides he will try to force Peri Head onto the walland try to flip him.
Peri Head decides he will make a run for it with his faster car on the outside lane and advoid lucifer. He does not want to be like Chimpy. He knows Lucifer will try to flip him.

But Peri head makes a vital mistake. The faster route will be along the wall on the right side. He fails to notice that Lucifer is no longer on his right, lucifer has veered to his left.

At this point, Peri Head can decide to either go ahead with his faster car in taking the faster route or he can jam his brakes again to force lucifer off.
He decides to take the outside lane aka the faster lane.

Lucifer was ready for that.
Once peri head veered to the right Lucifer makes his move.
He gently guides his car closer to Peri - Head. Peri - Head may still make it. He is still slighty infront.
they reach turn 4. The hard left turn.

Peri head turns the steering wheel leftsides, Lucifer holds the steering wheel firm.
Peri Head smashes into lucifer's car, but lucifer's car does not budge.
Too late of Peri Head, he cant change course in time, he cant move to the left, Lucifer is on his left.
He smashes into the wall at 225km/h . He flips. A pink scrap of metal flies thru the air with peri head inside it.

Lucifer cruises down the home straight and wins the race. The orange car is battered but also is the only car to complete the race.









wahahhahahaa. Yea, thats what happened. I recorded it verbatim. It is a blow by blow account.
If you dont believe me, you can always ask edwin and shawn.
If you havent noticed already, edwin is peri head and shawn is chimp and lucifer is that other bloke called nutter.







Well, its amazing how much fun $1 each can bring to us.
WE MUST DO THAT AGAIN!
WE MUST PLAY DAYTONA 500 AGAIN! WAHAHHAHAHA.
WHO WANTS TO CHALLENGE LUCIFER!?!?!?!!? COME GET UR ASS KICKED BY NUTTER!

haha, but it was fun. Hadnt had such fun for a long time. We were at cineleisure.hahaha. Like small kids. But it was fun. wahhaha.



anyway, gotta run now, exam week, stressed, not much studying done. Having this disease that one of my friends has describe to perfection on her blog.

alright, good night everyone!










Lappy really likes you. He didnt tell the school computers to sabotage you. He really didnt! He swears he didnt! Remember, he does not really like the school computers at all. He thinks they are 'cheap' as you said before.hahaha.

X Phone from O2

If any one has an X phone from O2 that they dont want, or if they have 700 bucks to spare.

please send t0 Bartley court #01-01 singapore 539763.
addressed to Master Low Yi Qian.
Do not address to Mister. do you know that people only address you as Mister if you have children? If u dont believe me, next time when u take an air plane, note that the name on the ticket reads Master instead of Mr.
A little bit of trivial =) Bet you all didnt know that =)

Cant believe it.
MS smart Phone OS.( basically its an Handphone running on windows OS like lappy.)
MP3 Player.
Camera. 640 x 860?!?!?!?!
65k Screen.
Can Sync with lappy
Uber Cool design.
LARGE SCREEN. LARGE BUTTONS.
suports SD card.
who needs poly when i can have MP3 tones?
can MSN messenger!
fwah *)**^%$%^&*

This is the perfect phone.
Check it out here

I need 700 buckaroos.
Badly.

So 1,2,3, take my hand and come with me because you look so fine and i really wanna make you mine.

Monday afternoon...

woke up at 11am by an sms....
Hotel california ring tone..its pretty long..so i had to get up.
couldnt get back to sleep after that..

had lunch alone near by, not that I am complaining..Its rather pleasant.
had the whole house to myself.

Have to get some studying done...been procrastinating. Tonight, by tonight.

Now, what would you do, if u had an accident, and that you had to go for this operation?
I mean, u are awake, but u need the operation, if not, bye bye life.

What would you do? The last ten things you would do?
I was thinking about this after almost being knocked down by a stupid car on my way home after lunch. Idiot driver. I am so big and he couldnt see me.

1. Pay out all my insurance premiums. in case any thing happens.

2. Draw up a will. its not much of a will, i dont have much possesions which are valuable.. but rhere are certain things that I want given to certain people. My diary, handphone, lappy and among others. in case anything happens

3. Call all my christians friends, tell em I gonna check heaven out, if the muslims are right, i gonna ring them up. If i dont ring, that means there is no heaven. Either way, they lose.

4. Internazionale jersey. Have to get.

5. wash out lappy's HDD. Many things and conversation logs that the world should never see.

6. Call pussy. and tell him i gonna look for him if something bad is to happen to me.

7. Have a last supper. ala...some dude in the bible. wahhahahahaha

8. Write a letter.

9. make my dad buy me a Panasonic Lumix FZ-10 for me to take some last pictures.

10. Threaten the doctor to make my operation a sucess. If not I will come back and haunt him.



thats it. Its pretty silly...but its the sort of things that I will do.
Hmm, maybe some of u could do this on your blogs too...wahhaha.

Alright, gotta run, got some other stuff to do.
Leave you with a song , Bent, by Matchbox 20. Enjoy.


And if I fall along the way
Pick me up and dust me off
And if I get too tired to make it
Be my breath so I can walk

And if I need some other love then
Give me more than I can stand
And when my smile gets old and faded
Wait around I'll smile again

Shouldn't be so complicated
Just hold me and then
Just hold me again

Can you help me I'm bent
I'm so scared that I'll never
Get put back together

Keep breaking me in
And this is how we will end
With you and me bent

And if I couldn't sleep could you sleep
Could you paint me better off
Could you sympathize with my needs
I know you think I need a lot

I started out clean but I'm jaded
Just phoning it in
Just breaking the skin

Can you help me I'm bent
I'm so scared that I'll never
Get put back together

Keep breaking me in
And this is how we will end
With you and me bent

Start bending me
It's never enough
I feel all your pieces

Start bending me
Keep bending me until
I'm completely broken in

Shouldn't be so complicated
Just touch me and then
Just touch me again

Can you help me I'm bent
I'm so scared that I'll never
Get put back together

Keep breaking me in
And this is how we will end
With you and me bent
and I don't understand it

And there I go again
Can you help me I'm bent
I'm so scared that I'll never
Get put back together

You're breaking me in
And this is how we will end
With you and me bent

Its not the fear of whats beyond, its just how that I'll respond.

Haha, came up with a novel way to explain what is love.

Love is only a feeling.

Yes yes, its the darkness song, but damn it makes a whole load of sense.

Yesterday felt real good. Played a match of soccer with some design guys. Law team kicked ass.... I played for most of the match. 7-3 final score. it was 2 weeks since i last played soccer, so ran my lungs out. hahaha, surprise i still can run! I run an ah beng down! wahhaha. I did! I really did!
wahhahahaahahahah.

erm, soccer match tmr too....at alama mata....wahhaha. soccer again! with seng joe and holey moley they all.


Just came back from a guys night out. With ed, shawn and dan and holey moley.
Soccer game at Cafe Cartel , gardens....Liverpool 2 - Arsenal 4. good fun!



I am troubled..
Its something about apec.
Haiz, unhappy that something like that has to happen.
Still.....what can we do about it?
At first it was one party....
but now seems like everyone is getting into the act.
Its unpleasant.
Lets just hope apec comes out of this stronger then ever.






I wanna Rock & Roll all night and Party everyday!I wanna Rock & Roll all night and Party everyday!I wanna Rock & Roll all night and Party everyday!I wanna Rock & Roll all night and Party everyday!I wanna Rock & Roll all night and Party everyday!I wanna Rock & Roll all night and Party everyday!I wanna Rock & Roll all night and Party everyday!I wanna Rock & Roll all night and Party everyday!I wanna Rock & Roll all night and Party everyday!I wanna Rock & Roll all night and Party everyday! like you I wanna Rock & Roll all night and Party everyday!I wanna Rock & Roll all night and Party everyday!I wanna Rock & Roll all night and Party everyday!I wanna Rock & Roll all night and Party everyday!I wanna Rock & Roll all night and Party everyday!I wanna Rock & Roll all night and Party everyday!I wanna Rock & Roll all night and Party everyday!I wanna Rock & Roll all night and Party everyday!I wanna Rock & Roll all night and Party everyday!I wanna Rock & Roll all night and Party everyday!I wanna Rock & Roll all night and Party everyday!I wanna Rock & Roll all night and Party everyday!I wanna Rock & Roll all night and Party everyday!I wanna Rock & Roll all night and Party everyday!I wanna Rock & Roll all night and Party everyday!evenI wanna Rock & Roll all night and Party everyday!I wanna Rock & Roll all night and Party everyday!I wanna Rock & Roll all night and Party everyday!I wanna Rock & Roll all night and Party everyday!I wanna Rock & Roll all night and Party everyday!I wanna Rock & Roll all night and Party everyday!I wanna Rock & Roll all night and Party everyday!I wanna Rock & Roll all night and Party everyday!I wanna Rock & Roll all night and Party everyday!now I wanna Rock & Roll all night and Party everyday!I wanna Rock & Roll all night and Partycant everyday!I wanna Rock & Roll all night and Party everyday!believeI wanna Rock & Roll all night and Party everyday!I wanna Rock & Roll all night and Party everyday!itI wanna Rock & Roll all night and Party everyday!I wanna Rock & Roll all night and Party everyday!I wanna Rock & Roll all night and Party everyday!I wanna Rock & Roll all night and Party everyday!I wanna Rock & Roll all night and Party everyday!I wanna Rock & Roll all night and Party everyday! =(

Insanely Jealous.

To send or not to send?
that is the question of the night.
Pros and Cons. Nothing ever balances out .

I got a nice big fat D + for my accounting coursework -_-
Convey test tomorro. Not studied yet. Exams in 2 weeks.

So as you can all see, pretty much jam packed to the max.

Went to jalan kayu today to savour some prata..with shawnzie, R-fen(thats how christina lim calls fn), linntodak and of cos gemuk gemuk tak scan... thats about all that was interesting today.


:::::::A conversation:::::::

We were observing an old lady cleaning a toliet.

She asked : You think she enjoys her work? (referring to the old lady)
I said : No. ( alittle too fast and assertive . i really dislike menial and monotonous stuff)

She said : What makes you think so?
I said : I dont know. I would not say she dislikes her work. I just think she does not enjoy it. (unsure of myself)

I said : I think she does not enjoy it. can you imagine doing the same thing everyday for the rest of your life?
She said: : But we are also already doing the same thing everyday repeatedly.
I said : erm , not really compared to her ( not very convincingly)

I said : Did you know that ' ***************' knows all their names?
She said :mm-hmm.... (nods head)

after a short pause

She said : Then why does she still work?
I said : Necessity. Perhaps she needs the money. or perhaps she is one of those people who cant settle down. Those people who need to work till the day they die.

she seemed to accept this. So i let it drop. or rather, she did.



10 mins later.


She said : I really want to talk to her sometime..




I was really suprised. I really liked that.

But perhaps I should not be. She always has caught me off guard repeatedly. So no big deal I guess. I am KENTAL.

anyway, anyone thought about that? Why do old people work? For the money? To get rid of the boredom? A habit? I really dont know. But sure as hell I wouldnt like my grandma to work like that.
Wait, but of cos she works.
It slipped my mine.
My grandma would kill if we objected to her having a full time job.
she works to supplement her allowance from the family.
She is a FULL TIME MAHJONG PLAYER.....yea, and a damn good one too.
so i think she is working. No CPF tho.


Oh yea, by the end of this entry, the problem has been solved. The thing has been sign, sealed and delivered.

Gotta go read some convey stuff now. Dont wanna fail if i can help it.
Goodnight everyone.







I dont want a thing from you. But you are tired of me waiting for the scraps to fall off your table to the ground. Cause I just want to be here now.

Cause i want nothing more than, sit outside heaven's door and listen to you breathing. Its where I wanna be.

- Lifehouse, Breathing.

And then the magic man came to town.

Pictures of Legal Team Alpha are up. Click HERE!!
Use the slide show yea?

thanks to soffie for the pictures.

Black Black Heart.

Read another book =). 'The Losers'
Have the time now since projects are finally over. Even the presentations.
Fam Law OP was alright thank you very much. Will upload the pictures that soffie has kindly taken for us very soon. Right after yahoo! photos stop giving me s***

Closer or further. Thats the question to ask. A friend asked me about it.
Will something that has gone so far away be any nearer after going so far away after such a long time?
Will something that was bought momentarily closer be closer in the time to come?
Perhaps distance is just a concept. It wont change. Further or close, does it make a difference? It is , after all still there. If something exist, does it matter if its very far away or just next to you?

I reckon it doesnt. However it does not make it easier.

'Damon Flood was a scoundrel- a smooth , smiling, cynical devil. As devious and corrupt as Raphael was open and innocent. The day he met damon was a day he began his mysterious fall from grace. The golden boy fell very fast and very far.'

Sounds good no? Just need to find myself someone to destroy now. My angel.







Boy.. You getting close eh?
-_- What the fuck?

Je Suis Molester

The shit i get myself into. Why oh why oh why oh why did i agree to help out those 2 short , smart, presuasive persons to help them in the Law Advocracy quizz?????

I miss out on soccer because of that.
I turn out to be a seafood seller because of that.
I live in woodlands because of that.
I smoke 20 ciggarettes in an hour because of that.
I wear a ugly green tee shirt and shorts because of that.
I am a molester because of that.
and all the time
i am like........WHAT THE FUCK MATE?!?!?!?!


wahahhaa. today went to china town to sort out that law advo thing. Quite fun...headed down with luwin and edle. Luwin poor thing, I think edle running him ragged...wahahaha... he deserves it, as he said it 'edle call me and F***** me'.

But it was quite interesting. A chinese tourist approached me to ask where to have dinner.....and i couldnt answer really well, my chinese sucks. SO much for being chinese. But then , she was really darn cheena lar, her accent was so heavy i swear it could have killed me. Dont know which farm she came out from *snigger snigger. I am evil*

Many interesting stuff to look at at cheena town......had macdonalds for dinner *what the hell was i thinking*

Moi's OB presentation was a breeze. A breeze I tell you. But I swear that tutor hates me..wahahhaha. She didnt even wanna mention my name, just said i was an 'entertainer'. now what the FUG is that suppose to mean? sheesh. Is that a good or bad thing? crap.

ah, anyway, gotta go off soon.wanna go sleep. Je suis sick.
How you ask?
My brother is a dick. He bought back some flu bug after kissing some girl and its killing me now. Shite.
Orait, gotta go, amost at the bridge now. oh shite, now how am i gonna send this out?!
^guess the song i got this from!

Good night everyone.

You are all that I need, make you only mine!

10 IMPORTANT THINGS INSIDE YOUR /BackPack /Purse/Pocket

1. Cell Phone
2. Bus card.
3. Money
4. This small piece of cloth.
5. Home keys with key chains
6. Books?
7. Discman and CDs
8. Matric card
9. Poker Cards.
10. ID


9 THINGS YOU USE EVERYDAY:
1. Cell Phone
2. Stereo
3. Lappie
4. Cutlery
5. Bus Pass
6. Squirt Bottle
7. Nude-ex Earphones
8. Discman
9. My imagination


8 OF YOUR FAVORITE FOODS
1. Coca-cola
2. Mum's curry puff
3. Macdonalds
4. Pasta
5. Roti-prata
6. Mentos Strawberry
7. Pizza
8. Brain Food



7 OF YOUR CLOSEST FRIENDS
1. My Goodside
2. My Bad side
3. My alter ego
4. Me
5. Myself
6. I
7. My imaginary friend called ' Whoopie'



6 OF YOUR FAVE MOVIES
1. The God-Father
2. Interview with a Vampire
3. Top Gun
4. Romeo + Juliet
5. Matrix Revolution
6. LOTR Return of the King



5 THINGS IN YOUR ROOM
1. Lappie
2. Stereo
3. Play station
4. Telephone
5. erm, me?



4 THINGS YOU ATE TODAY
1. Chipsmore Cookie
2. Pokka Aloe Vera Drink
3. Half chicken rice
4. saxet evif


3 THINGS YOU COULDN'T LIVE WITHOUT
1. Cell Phone
2. Interesting people
3. My solitude


2 BOOKS/MAGZ U RECENTLY READ
1. Regina's song by David and Leigh Eddings
2. Order of the Phoenix. JK Rowling


1 PERSON YOU CAN'T FORGET
Idiot!! (and king penguin)


At last, all the projects handed up. Just presentations and an accounting test next week. I think I can relax during the weekend. I hope.

You are Growin on me -_- Tonights recommendation. Growin on me by The Darkness

I can't get rid of you
I don't know what to do
I don't even know who is growing on who-yeah yeah
Coz everywhere I go your there
I can't get you out of my hair
I can't pretend that I don't care
It's not fair

I'm being punished for all my offences
I wanna touch you but I'm afraid if the consequences
I wanna banish you from whence you came
But your part of me now
And I've only got myself to blame

You're really growing on me
(Or am I growing on you)
You're really growing on me
(Or am I growing on you)
Any fool can see

Sleeping in an empty bed
I can't get you off my head
And I won't have a life until you're dead
Yeah you heard what I said

I wanna shake you off but you just won't go
You're all over me and I don't want anyone to know
That you're attached to me that's how you've grown
Won't you leave me,baby leave me, leave me alone

You're really growing on me
(Or am I growing on me)
You're really growing on me
(Or am I growing on you)
Any fool can see
Ahhhhh!

You're really growing on me
(Or am I growing on you)
You're really growing on me
(Or am I growing on you)
Ahhhhh!
Ohhhhh!

Rumah Dayak. Native Hut.

Project week. Starting to feel the stress. But think I have it covered.

Anyway, played the abovementioned game today.Its the first time for me....dont laugh, i no childhood one ok!!! *waves fist in circleing action ala david.* Its sorta complicated simple -_- . Instructions are abit complicated, but once u get to play it, its easily. Its a mix of dodge ball( poison ball) and perhaps Dog N Bone.

Me, all black and mu mu texas 5 were on one team, linn, lingster and fn-shredder was on the other. It was dead tiring, We were all like winded after half hour. Its deceptively lung busting excercise i tell you. Its crazy. You run, jump , hide and doge while trying to rebulid this stupid hut shape thing made from 4 shoes. Sorta looks like a pyramid cept that it gave off a strong smell. No thanks to fn-shredder and Mu Mu's shoes. We didnt have a ball today, so we used newspaper and fn-shredder's socks, dont ask us how we did it, we just did. It also needs team work. So there you have it, 6 above 18s playing some kiddie game in a void deck. How crazy? VERY!

You all should play it. Very soothing and it relieves stress. They should make it an olympic event......HAR HAR HAR!

Really felt like childhood days.

Its not privy to just my eyes anymore.

Hahahahahha, just noticed that shit I write is open for everyone to read.
I know it is supposed to be this way, but it just hit home when i wanted to write some stuff about things that are happening lately in my head.

But then...think its safer to scribble it down in my journal...at least its safe from prying eyes.
Now, this blogging buisness, after blogging for so long, i finally relise that its a place for THOUGHTS.

Why? cause you see, people arnt interested in your daily life.
People are not interested about your relationships. Well, if they do , its either that they care or that they are just fucking nosey. Somehow I always seem to feel its the latter. Come-on, thats why people go blog hopping, to check dirt about people. But its easy to identify, people who care do tag, people who are nosey are just like ghost, come and go without a trace( or so they think).

Now, the things that i think are interesting about blogging is the personality and mentality that we can identify when we read some one's blog. But then it only applies when that person does not write about his/her life but rather his ideals and thoughts on things around him.

Of cos, interesting events are appreciated, but not the drab everyday ' i went to sch today, i hate sch' kind of variety. These kind of entries are entries which induce various degress of drowsyness or in some cases, cases of death by boredom.

Some blogs are very very interesting but some blogs are really full of nothing but S***.
Some blogs are pity collectors. These blog entries are written by people who moan about their life hoping to gather some pity and sympathy. You get those all the time. They are absolute time wasters.
Some blogs are time logs. They write nothing but what they ate for the day and what colour of underwear they have on.
Some blogs are plain shit. Ugly to look at ( obviously ripped skin without mod) and updated for the sake of being updated.
Some blogs aim to project an image to the reader which is totally different from the owner of the blog. I think this are the most difficult to detect. This kinda person is like schzioprenic and have the ability to change characters at a flick of a switch. Skilled but not admired.

Haiz, I miss the good old days when my blog was just for my own eyes albeit a few close friends. I could write about all kind of things that i like. Thats one of the reasons i have decided not to includ archives.

Relationship , friends , family, finance and my thoughts are not things that i am comfortable with sharing with people who are unknown or in worst cases known. I dont want people i hardl y know or understand to know my inner most thoughts. My weakness.....My soft spots. Its like......divulging in stuff which you normally wont talk about in the phsysical presence of the person.

My earlier posts were honest stuff. Stuff that i felt strongly for. If i aint writing it down, it does not mean that I am over stuff, its just that its no longer safe to write it here anymore. People read and talk. Sure, its my blog, but i will get into trouble for the things that I say. I am after all responsible for the comments that I make. It does not matter that its my blog. Its the comments and things written that matter.

I dont claim to churn out a perfect blog and to interest all the readers. But the point is that i enjoy blogging. Its relieves stress, gives my ideas the room it needs. It lets me write( which i like to do) and that i can share stuff that i think is interesting with my friends.

Tragic Kingdom was set up not as a private nor public blog. It was a place where my friends can learn alittle more about me and to perhaps give me alittle advice. It was supposed to be a place where i could say the stuff i had in my head with little or no fear that it may be gossiped or talked about. It was suppose to do alot of other stuff.

BUT alas, it was not to be. It was impossible to start with anyway. Thus i still find myself holding on to my journal.

Hmm......if any one ever lands his/ her hands on my journal, thats a scary thought. Thats a very scary thought.

wahahahhahaaahahaahhahahahaa. Full of shit written today. But its fun. wahahhahaha

Alright, leave you all with a song. Listening to it alot nowadays.

Its Love is only a feeling. By the Darkness. Awesome song.

The first flush of youth was upon you when our eyes first met
And i knew that to you and into your life i had to get
i felt light-headed at the touch of this strangers hand
an assault my defences systematically failed to withstand

cos you came at a time
when the pursuit of one true love in which to fall
was the be all and end all

love is only a feeling
(drifting away)
when im in your arms i start believing
(its here to stay)
but love is only a feeling
Anyway

the state of elation that this union of hearts achieved
i had seen, i had touched, i had tasted and i truly believed
that the light of my life
would tear a hole through each cloud that scudded by
just to beam on you and i

Love is only a feeling
(drifting away)
when im your arms i start believing
(its here to stay)
but love is only a feeling
anyway, anyway

Love is only a feeling
(drifting away)
and we've got to stop ourselves believing
(its here to stay)
cos love is only a feeling
Anyway

Madrid. Bomb Blast.

Nothing much happened this past week in my life. APEC got kicked out in the first round of TPIS, not that we played badly and not that we played super well. I didnt think we deserved to be knocked out, but anyway, the point is that we were knocked out by our own undoing. As luwin put it: 'We didnt string 2 passes in 20 mins'

This week has been a week of news overload. Presidential elections in taiwan and malaysia. Frankly, in my opinion, those things like the elections are sort of a farce. I dont take them seriously at all. Not that i dont take those 2 countries seriously, but take a look at a taiwan parlimentary session and read the papers on the PAS and stuff, you will get what I mean.

But of cos, tragedy struck this week. This time in madrid. Killing approximately 150 people. Thats sad. I think its an inhuman and cowardly act and i think most of you will agree with me. Planting a bomb in the train system at peak hour, killing unarmed and un warned civillians. Thats not a justifiable act of politics or religion. It defies logic. Does killing achieve anything? It just cultivates hatred , nothing else.

Wait for a moment, for those who dont know what I am talking about, I think you should go buy a gun and shoot yourself. I am trying to cut down on my swearing, but then if you dont know what I am talking about, you can go fuck yourself.

But then , after i saw pictures of the spanish people marching in the streets together for a common cause, it lead me to think that there is hope after all. 8 million people crowded the streets all over the country to protest against terrorism. No, that is no typo. 8 million people marching the streets together. Think about it.

Actually, I dont know what to write about this incident. I am writing to jot down my thoughts on what had happened. I dont offer any explanation to it nor do I blame anybody for it. But for so much people to die for such an unworthy cause......its dead tragic.

But it leads me to the some singaporean youths. I am ashamed to be associated with them. I mean, its unbelievable how many youths dont know about what is happening in this world. Do they care about terrorism? I mean, of cos they know 9/ 11, but what abount madrid? Perhaps the only thing they know about madrid is that beckham plays there and that Real Madrid is a football club. Beyond that........... screw those people.

and i cant believe that they are idiots who know everything about their various taiwanese pop idols then know alittle about the things that has happened around the world.

This people just ought to be dragged out and shot.

Perhaps , I think its time young people like us take some time to see what is happening around the world. Read more papers( NOT newpaper) and watch the news(NOT ONLY sports section). I think its good preparation for the outide world. What you all think?

I feel disturbed about all this things that are happening. New York, Bali and now madrid. Did invading iraq help? Leave you to think about it.

Goodnight everyone.

P.S in light of all the shit happening around the world, perhaps young singaporeans should stop whinning about the life we have.

Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho!

I am so ...happy...laughing at some one else's expense! hahah, he deserves it! He got what he did to me last time around! Yea! Shit! I am so happy, I think I can shit gold bricks!

Jaded People on the Bus.
I am sure you all seen them. Late twenties and above, fifty five and below.. Taking the damn bus every single morning. Wearing their formal clothing, listening to music, staring into air. Getting to their 9 to 5 jobs. The jobs they have been going to everyday for the past years.

They only take the bus during rush hours. They make up the rush hour. Dont misunderstand me, I have nothing agaisnt people who want to get to work on time. Its just that looking at them scares me. I hate taking the morning and evening rush hour buses. Not because i have no where to sit, rather I have to look at all these jaded people. They look like they have nothing much to live for if you know what I mean.

I dread to be like them. Every time i take the bus, I look at them and tell myself that by hook or by crook, I not gonna become one of them. In everysense....they are like....zombies.
They all seemed glossy eyed and their thoughts far away. I dont know why, perhaps they are bored. Yet, if they are bored with their lives, why arnt they doing anything about it?

These adults have no mischievious glint in their eyes, no spark about them. They seem dead. Hmm, is it something to do with the bus? I dont know man..... but the thing is, if you think about it, would you want to be like them 10 , 20 years down the road? Doing the same old thing over and over again?

This people, they probably have a normal lifestyle, perhaps 2 kids, living in a flat, having a stable job. But then, its a boring lifestyle.

I want anything but a boring lifestyle. To me, their life is like being stuck in a rut. I know their importance, they drive the singaporean economy. But then, they are so dead. I dont know why, but it just offends me. It pisses me off to see this people going to work everyday with that same blank face and expression. It bugs me. i dont know why it bothers me so much, but it just does. Perhaps I am weird.

I dont see how they can live their life. If going to work is like...painful, how are they gonna live life? I dont bloody get it. I know i am making alot of assumptions here. But then, with their constipated looks, they really look like they dread their work and stuff.

Working is important, no doubt about that. It supports the expensive lifestlye that we have.....but.....work must be something that you must even remotely enjoy. It makes no sense to do something for like 30 years of your life just so that you can have food on the table. Its nuts, its stupid and most of all its boring.

I have this deep seated need. Its an almost desparate longing. I need to make it in life. I need to make it in some area that I have the passion for. I need to drive a car. A nice car. I need to live in a nice place. I need to have cash to spend. I need all these things when I grow into an WORKING adult. But most of all I want to live life as it should be lived. I dont want no shit job that pays a whole load but bores me to tears. Whats the whole point?

I think , we all need to fufill our emotional and financial needs in our lifes. We cant be very rich but unhappy, nor happy but poor like shit. Altho i think the latter is impossible as in the world today, if you have no money, you are confirmed to be unhappy. Its sad but true.

I think , I want to do something that I love for the rest of my life. I have not decided what it is yet, but I think i am coming close. I think i made some wrong decisions. But I hope its not too late to correct it. The first step, I have already taken. Which is, I have decided not to be a paralegal nor extend my studies in hope of being a lawyer. I think I have made the wrong choice to attend the wrong course. Of cos, I am happy with the social side of this course, I made many friends and stuff, but i think i cant handle spending a good part of my life reading law books and cases. it would drive me mad.

I have taken the first step to living my life. Which step are you at?

Todays recommendation is Called Friday Night, by The Darkness from their album Permission to Land.

Hey you!
Do you remember me
I used to sit next to you at school
We indulged in all the extra-curricular activities
We weren't particularly cool

Monday cycling
Tuesday gymnastics
Dancing on a Friday night
I got Bridge Club on Wednesday
Archery on Thursday
Dancing on a Friday night

Hey you!
Could you ever fall for me
The way I fell for you
And do you dwell upon the thoughts that I occupy
Or do you give yourself things to do

Monday rowing
Tuesday badminton
Dancing on a Friday night
I got ping pong on Wednesday
Needlework on Thursday
Dancing on a Friday night
With you, with you

Monday, Tuesday
Wednesday, Thursday
Dancing on a Friday night
Let the music smother me
Whole weekend recovery
Dancing on a Friday night

See the lady I adore
Dancing on the dancing floor
Dancing on a Friday night
God the way she moves moves me
To write bad poetry
Dancing on a Friday night
With you.

I pay tribute. To, Nike Air Zooms. Total 90.

Crazy about em....sheesh.

Anyway...its an saturday afternoon...I feel damn sluggish. But good. hahahahahhaa

Played soccer in the morning at GYSS, it was a good session. Came back, had lunch, and laughed at the TV with moley..

Contemplating on what to do for the rest of the day.

William Hung

He cant sing, he cant dance. Why has so many people has so much things to say about him? AND if he does become an entainer or something, it WILL become the surprise of the century.

I thought that he represented the epitome of asian modesty and the such...but then...its becoming a farce. Really.. I mean, look at the guy, he is a smart university guy, who goes and humiliates himself. I think he gave his best and that he really meant what he said, but the problem is that he has allowed himself to be 'marketed'. Those american dudes, because he is asian and because he sings and dances weird, has taken the perfect oppotunity to pump up ratings. His clip is the advert for the show and he has set the bench mark for the lowest talent...if any.

No, I am not dissing him, i just find it werid that someone so low on talent, looks( subjective) and charisma can become an entertainer( he is on his way). My gut feeling is that he is being exploited. Those american dudes...all out to exploit him. But the weird part is, and hear this, the best part is that he is ALLOWING himself to be marketed.

That stupid guy, he say he has no regrets and shit, he is crazy. He has signed an music offer, agreed to be re-appear on american idol to sing again. All for what? For people to laugh at him and for him to make a shit load of money. All this after people saying he left the show with DIGINITY.

May I ask, in wat way does doing the above mentioned things signify his dignity? More like proves his lack of it. A good comedian( and he is supposedly a singer) makes the audience laugh WITH HIM. A bad one makes people laugh AT HIM.

Now tell me, were you laughing at him when you saw the clip? cause i think you all, cause for the hell of me, i cant see myself laughing WITH a guy who is trying to enter a singing compeition.

This dignity thing, if he has seen the clip, saw how bad he was, heard the jokes made about him, saw the bad renditions of his audition and the such, he would dig a hole in the ground and hide in there.

I dont know what to make of this dude, I like him for the way he says he has tried his best and he has no regrets, but i loathe the way he is allowing himself to be made a fool off. To me, thats way low. Laughing at yourself is fine( i do that all the time) but MAKING people laugh at you is NOT fine. Its such a disgrace. AND he is doing it on purpose.

I dont know to feel sorry for the guy or to feel that he deserves all the dissing he gets.

But who am I to judge on his character and things so intagible like dignity? hmm, perhaps he really is like the personality on TV, naive, courteous.... But we will never know.


Alright, think its time to stop talking about this guy. Adios people!

Today, I thank god( and i dont know which one) that I am not him.







I think, I hope, that she is dead in my dreams.

Photos, Photos and more photos.

No SLR pics....Digi cam pics...
I think they are good tho..check them out.

If I aint in the picture, I am most likely behind the camera. Hope you all like it. Really like some of the shots, espcially sunrise pictures...enjoy ppl.

I strongly recommend you all view via slide show, i took some time to come out with descriptions, please dont let my effort go to waste =)
Click HERE.....

Will upload pictures of what happened on valentines day soon..stay tune. Not very good pics I must admit...conditions were abit harsh..i was abit blur as well...forgot certain settings....


Ok...today..I am gonna talk about my dog...kinda miss it. Gave it away 4 years ago.

German shepard bitch. Her name was Joyce, she was a bitch to take care off, but it was worth it.

A dog named Joyce,
life story I will tell.
Bought her home,
from a pet shop,
was a pup, but was like a cub.

Grew steadily did she,
into something fast and strong.
So fast she grew,
but we thought it was kinda cool.

Companion she was,
guard duty she did.
Perky eyes and glowing eyes,
she kept us safe at night.

Once upon a dog time,
she almost bit off the head of a sch boy,
who tried to retrieve his football,
which flew into the yard.

Scared the hell out of him she did,
St Gabriel's legend she became.
Huge dog, crazy dog, siao kao, rabib animal and all.
Those school boys were really anthralled

When she wanted, she would be all good and quiet,
when she bitched, you wanted to throw her out.
But we never did, cause she always listened.

2 years she was with us, time to leave it was.
My new home was never big enough ,neither was my will.
Parents said she had to go, and I had to let go.

Helping hands did she go too,
drug addicts she was taught to help,
thought it was kinda cool. But nothing else I could do.
Nod my head and follow her there, to return alone and leave her there.

Never seen her again, could not leave her there again.
Never been there back again, cause the fascination would start all again.

Heard from me parents, that found a companion she did.
A magnificent Male German shepard, had joined her by her feet.
7 puppies were the result, all healthy live and strong,
thinking back, if she were not to leave, would she had lived the way she did.

People she would help,
People would care for her,
huge field for her to run, another dog for her to fool.
A family she did create, much joy did she bring.
Her life's a charmed one, please agree with me,
for that is the only way, could I let her live the dog's way.



Hahah, abit long...but then..it was a magnificent animal.
ok, enuff of this, I need to go now, 9am lessons..wat a pain.

Hope you all liked the photos and the write up of my dog...Goodnight everybody.

Who needs phuket?!?!?!?!?!

If anyone is to disagree with me, that person obviously had not spent the night at East Coast Park and welcome the morning there before.

Its awesome. Picture perfect. Too bad I didnt bring my stuff, if not i would have jumped into the early morning waters with Mu'izz and adnan, me and erfen just went down to the beach and not into it.......But then, i did the next best thing..i took photos! hahaa, shit load of em..uploading them soon.

Spent the night there, talked and played silly games like Fortune. We had a potluck actually, then the respective responsible boy friends took their better halfs back, me luwin and lingster stood guard duty till they came back. Me and ling took this oppotunity to get some good stuff(since the muslims were all acompanying girl friends)......Corona by the sea, nothing much can beat that I guess.......

Talked....played fortune....debated on movies.....had supper.....Superb Macaroni prepared by erfen's mum....2 packs of crisp and 2 bottles of flavoured water.....and countless ciggarettes for the smokers.... It was slackers paradise....I loved it.

Morning came...the day broke around 7am.....the view was fantastic....beach was perfect...it was clean!
The 2 kids splashed around, while me and fn just stone there in the morning air....

Then we headed to macdonalds for breakfast....bad move....whole families were there....Dads who just woke up accompanied by screaming kids is not a recommended sunday morning activity. Beside our table was this family with this utterly irritating brat who kept screaming...the mum just pacified him and stuff.....god, he was really irritating. His sibling was cute tho....I think the younger sibling had better sense then to make a fool of himself in public.

We all went home at 10am..stoned..Light headed with fuzzy vision..

Beach was good. Gave me time to think. Clarity to think. The perfect environment to tackle prickly issues. Came away from it with less worries and thoughts as compared to yesterday.

Yea, I think I better go....have an 8am class in the morning... sucks if you ask me...Linda tan early in the morning....not my recommended way of tackling monday blues....but...wat the hell....half way thru already and I'm not late once...gotta keep it up....

Today is OLD SCHOOL....today's recommendation is Still Loving You by Scorpions. Give it a try, you might surprise yourself.

Time, it needs time
To win back your love again
I will be there, I will be there ...
Love, only love
Can bring back your love someday
I will be there, I will be there ...

Fight, baby I fight
To win back your love again
I will be there, I will be there ...
Love, only love
Can break down the walls someday
I will be there, I will be there.

If we'd go again all the way from the start
I would try to change things that killed our love
Your pride has built the wall so strong that I can't get through!
Is there really no chance to start once again?
I'm loving you

Try, baby try
To trust in my love again
I will be there, I will be there ...
Love our love
Just shouldn't be thrown away
I will be there, I will be there ...

If we'd go again all the way from the start
I would try to change things that killed our love
Your pride has built the wall so strong that I can't get through!
Is there really no chance to start once again?

If we'd go again all the way from the start
I would try to change things that killed our love
Yes I hurt your pride and I know what you been through
You should give me a chance, this can't be the end

I'm still loving you ...
I'm still loving you ...
I'm still loving you ...
I'm still loving you ...

Still Loving You Baby







Someone told me. 'If electricity came from electrons, does morality come from morons?'
I could only smile =)

You damn smart.

You damn smart.
I cant believe you can talk shit behing my back.
Dont get me wrong, you can do that.
Cause i do that some times too.
Difference is I am joking. I dont think you are.
I heard it. It must be true.
I wont ask you. I know you are actually capable of doing such things.
But its damn weird.
I find it surreal.

I talked to you thru your problems.
Listened to you. Tho it irritated me.
hell...It irritated me when you talked shit about others.
But i listened. I dont like it when ppl talk shit abt others.
But nvm... I just shut up and listen.
You thought I will never know about it.

Perhaps you just need to be careful abt the people around you when you talk shit.
Walls have ears. Ceilings have eyes. I have friends.

Am I angry? Not really. Just dissapointed.
What does this means? Perhaps its just that you mean less to me then I so thought.

But be wary of me. Be wary of me.
I wont do what you did to me, but be wary of me.
I dont mean you harm. But remember what you did to me.

I am not threatening you. I am not scaring you.
What you did to me was not serious.
But i dont like it. I condemn it.

But its werid. You look for people when you need help.
You look for people to shower you with pity when you want it.
Not knowing showing pity really is so.......low. Demeaning.
You look strong, but I know that you are not.
Securities from others, confirmation of others.
Other's faint nod is what you yearn.

You say no? I think Not.
You lead a hardlife? You haven lived life.
You have problems? Those are minor issues.
You have no money? Oh, i can laugh at that.

Please. You liked to think that you are all grown up. Thru a school of hard knocks.
I think you are exagerrating. Probably the school for the rich and famous.

Oh my, I have ranted on for so long.
But its what I kept inside for so long.

But I am not disturbed.I am not disturbed.I am not disturbed.I am not disturbed.I am not disturbed.I am not disturbed.I am not disturbed.I am not disturbed.I am not disturbed.I am not disturbed.I am not disturbed.I am not disturbed.I am not disturbed.I am not disturbed.I am not disturbed.I am not disturbed.I am not disturbed.I am not disturbed.I am not disturbed.I am not disturbed.I am not disturbed.I am not disturbed.I am not disturbed.I am not disturbed.I am not disturbed.I am not disturbed.I am not disturbed.I am not disturbed.I am not disturbed.I am not disturbed.I am not disturbed.

Perhaps if i say that long enuff, I will feel that way.








haha, ranting is good for health! i strongly recommend it!!

anyway, potluck tmr at the beach... i can hardly wait =)
Today...spent the day with Shawn and later HGF, good day by any standards. Killiney Kopitiam and Gardens Roti John suits my palate just fine! Polka Black currant tea also rocks... Twinkies are awesome. Who haven had twinkies? you can feel like hollow man if u eat it! whahaha

Todays make your tomorros.
Cant remember who told me that. I just hope its darn true.

Shoved into Storage.

I am bored , as usual.

Been playing Winning 11 to relieve my boredom. Have already setted up my dream team. They play 3-5-2
My team list

Strikers:
The Omni-present Andrei Shevchenko
The Man Raul Gonzalez

Attacking Midfielders:
The Invincible Alvaro Recoba
The Quick-Sliver Ryan Giggs
The One Zidane.

Defensive Midfielders:
The Bull Dog Edgar Davids
The Pretty Boy David Beckham.

Defenders.
The Best Defender in the world Alessandro Nesta.
His Partner in crime Fabio Cannavaro.
His name sounds sissy but he is not. Lillian Thuram

Goalie
Who says he Kahn? Oliver Kahn

Reserves:
Black Dog Babangida.
THere is only 1 Enrico Chiesa.
Crack Pot Rio Ferdinand.
King Roy Keane.
Italian Machine Christian Vieri.
Butt of Jokes Francesco Totti.
El Grodor Ronnie Ronaldo.
Turkish Kebab Emre.
The Great Dane Schmichael

Thats it. If I was Roman, this is my dream team. This is the Dream team. Come -on Madrid and Chelsea. Come challenge my Winning 11 team lar! Bring your own memory card and controller ! Perez and Roman better watch out, cause KingKangKong gonna win the champion's league. Man Utd? What utter rubbish! Milan is nothing but a fly.


haha, pardon me. Just felt like assembling my dream team. Nothing much...

Alright....I think i wanna go read now.... Books...How can someone go without them? I dont know! Call me nerd, call me geek, but at the end of the day, I am the one who can call you IDIOT.

Today's song is by a new band called The Darkness. THis is their single called I belive in a thing called love. THis is awesome stuff......awesome i tell you. Vocals are insaneeeeeeee.

Cant explain all the feelings
that you're making me feel
my heart's in over drive and
you're behind the steering wheel
touching you, touching me,
touching you cause you touched your blues
i believe in a thing called love
just listen to the rythm of my heart
theres a chance we can make it now
we'll be rockin till the sun goes down
i believe in a thing called love
ooooooh (huh!)

i wanna kiss you every minute every hour everyday
you got me in a spin but everything is a ok

touching you, touching me
touching you cause you touchd your blues
i believe in a thing called love, jut listen to the rythm of my heart
theres a chance we can make it now
we'll be rockin till the sun goes down
i believe in a thing called love
ooooooh guitar



touching you, touching me, touching you coz you touched me arghhhh

i believe in a thing called love
just listen to the rythm of ma heart,
is there a chance we can make it now,
we'll be rocking till the sun comes down,
i believe in a thing called love arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh



i wanna kiss you every minute every hour everyday
you got me in a spin but everything is a ok

touching you, touching me
touching you cause you touced your blues
i believe in a thing called love, just listen to the rythm of my heart
theres a chance we can make it now
we'll be rockin till the sun goes down
i believe in a thing called loveooooooh guitar



touching you, touching me, touching you coz you touching me arghhhh

i believe in a thing called love
just listen to the rythm of ma heart,
is there a chance we can make it now,
we'll be rocking till the sun comes down,
i believe in a thing called love arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh











Thinking bout the song bird yesterday, flew me to a place not far away.

Monday.23feb.14:55.Hot.Sleepy.

Holiday week. Sounds good. Gonna spend it as I like. Not much commitments to keep to for this week. Perhaps potluck on friday which would be great. Hmm...tmr, go to school take some pictures or something..

Just came back from grand mother's place. She made lunch for me. Awesome stuff i tell you...

Today, just want to stay home and read.......haha...slack, surf the net and stuff. Clean my room or something.

As for now, I have a splitting headache...its the weather...sorching heat. Fwah, I going off to rest abit. perhaps blog again later....

gosh........i love panadol.

By Evanescence, My Immortal

At 4:10 in the morning and being all alone, this song suddenly makes so much sense.

I'm so tired of being here
Supressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time can not erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you screamed I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me

You used to captivate me by your resonating mind
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time can not erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you screamed I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me

Just when things aint right. Does not mean that they are all wrong.

My valentine's day was uber uber uber exciting. For those who have no idea what happened. Pictures coming up. Be patient! Its good. Real good. Some real good shit. Almost died though. Could have been worst.



Anyway.....test week = Nutter mugging if he wants too week. But after test week...nutter is going off to hawaii.





Nah, I'm just shitting you! whahahahaha................. I wished

today, I was wondering what would i do if i struck american lottery and won 10 million USD. This is what i will buy.

For myself
1) A Ferrari. Red. Drive past cousin's house and honk my horn. If i can make him eat my dust on the road, all the better.
2) A pent house. Sea View.
3)BUY A DRIVING LICENCE and flash it at shaun. You got it in 2 months? I got it in 2 seconds.
4) and a Bus. For entertainment.
5)Season tickets for Inter Matches

For Friends.
1) The 2 fucking best guitars in the world for fn-shredder and Lingster. wif berkly education for em both.
2) A Lexus for shawn. Pay off shue anne.
3)Nissan Fair-lady Z for Jia Yu.
4)Pay a punk rock band of Johan's , aaron's, wen liang's choice to play exculsively for them.
5) Buy a damn pool table and the best pool cue in the whole damn world for luwin.
6) Honda Stream for HGF. Make that 2, one for felicia. And that penthouse adjacent to mine.
7)Buy a box of PDAs and Zippo lighters for Muizz plus his stupid varadero.. A chocolate factory for linn. Lifetime supply of ciggarettes for them both.
8)An arsenal of weapons for mikey.. and a tank. and TNT and dynamite. Bomb shelter and bullet vest for his family.
9)Give adnan a shit load of money. He will know what to do with it. and a pet cat.
10) Get priya the best lawyer in the world damn world to let her sue all the people who talk shit behind her.
11) Buy edelweiss park for edleweiss. HAR HAR HAR
12)Get El hadji Dwarf's mother the fucking best doctor in the world.
13) Buy soffie HRC so she no need squeeze with others while clubbing.
14)Buy edwin a whole container truck load of shoes for him. enuff for him to drown in.
15)Get melissa her car of choice so she no longer need people to give her rides to the beach.
16)Get seng joe all the football boots in the world. so he can parade infront of lee jing wei!
17) Samsung E700 handphone. A charted plane to phuket. and whatever stuff that person wants.
18)Mini wants height. I dont know if its possible. But can try. Height it is!
19)Hardi, if you reading this, i will pay your puny instalments for that miserable motorbike. Just dont get yourself killed. wahhaha. I still wanna hear about you.
20) Zoom Airs in every colour for johan. Life time supply of drink for aaron. Can get high like no ones biz. Oh, camera too.



My Family
1) Anything and everything they want. Honest!


I think thats about it. If i have 10 million USD, these are the things i would get. I think its enuff lar.


OK, enuff of dreaming. back to organising bullshit. test tmr. Remember to come back for the pictures of my valentines. Goodnight everyone.

In that case, you all also pray for me to strike lottery too lor! wahahah.





No regrets, they dont work. No regrets now, they only hurt *Robbie Williams.

NAH..................I'm just shitting you!!!!

This week, i really done some serious serious serious lepaking. Phew, but it was good. As always.
Monday was spent completing my secret mission. Only 3 persons know abt it. 2 girls and 1 guy. Played Pool with luwin and shawn.

Tuesday was like damn awesome, ordered pizza to makan under void deck. Stupid Pizza hut guy, at first say cannot deliver, then ask me if there was a funeral. I was like, what the hell??!? After makan ,went to sheesha with fn-shredder and Ling Yo! after Ling Yo! got his comics at bugis.... We sat on the sofa, sheesha(ed) and like drifted and drifted till we had to go home.

Wednesday, erm, went to NYP to pass Man Utd Jersey to HGF. Ate there, slacked there. Went to the library, went to the toliets, went to the canteens, saw lydia,went to the computer lab, then went to meet luwin to play pool at parkway later in the evening.

Thursday, lagi best, spent the morning rushing my project, rush to sch to hand up. Went to play soccer. Slack at the coffee shop after soccer with shawn, luwin, Ling Yo!, peri-head, Muizzcini and myself. Went home only at 11! Fancy that!

Today......................fwah, went to family tutorial without my tutorial, made a farce out of the tutorial. DOnt get me wrong, it was fun! tease Christina Lim and stuff, freaking good stuff.
Then went to makan KFC with Ling Yo! and Fn-Shredder. Then went for accounting tutorial which was another farce. But it was fun too. Made fun of dumb crooks. Morale of the story? ALWAYS STEAL LARGE AMOUNTS OF MONEY IF YOU WANT TO STEAL. AND AFTER YOU STEAL THE BOOTY, RUN LIKE THE WIND. RUN LIKE HELL. TO ZAMBABWE OR SOMETHING. MALI ALSO CAN. TUNISIA ALSO NO ONE CAN FIND YOU.


Then after that, complete some family research qns shit, then went to marina square. Ling Yo! had some errands to run. Then makan again, then headed to the war memorial to lepak. The place is awesome. I dont know how fn-shredder and Ling Yo! found this nirvana like place. wahahhaa. THen I went home at about 10, 11.



You know whats the amazing thing? I have a test on tuesday and friday, with a project due on the same friday and conveyancing completion on the next day which is saturday. And i haven started to do anything. Thus, today, saturday, I shall be heading down to school to get some preparation done. Pray for me. wahahahha!!!!


Whats the thing about valentine's day? what so special about 14th febraury? Today I heard Christian Lim said this
" Everyday should be Valentine's day."

Which one makes more sense? you all decide. I think the latter.


Oh yea, wanna give special thanks to Ling Yo!, aaron aaron the barren moron , shawn and el hadji drawf for helping me with my project by doing a short write up for me. Thanks aaron again for those splendid pictures. thanks people, appreciate it. I only manage to complete it in time and actually enjoy doing it with your help. Thanks lots ah!

OK, really beat. wanna go off now. Today's song shall be Between You and Me. Recomended to me by aaron. whaha. By Ataris. Quite a nice song.

Won't you come over?
You know that you want to.
How does it feel to know
I still want you?

Why do we always seem to want
what we can't have?
Lessons learned.
But then I listen to my heart,
And it says still run back for more.

I'm happy for you.
I'm sure that he really loves you.
But it breaks my heart,
To know I can't hold you.

(yeah)

It's just hard to think
I'll never get the chance
To say you're mine.
But every time you hear this song
You'll know you've made a mark
On my heart and my mind.

Thru this darkness, I'm alive but I'm alone.

Gonna talk about friday night/ saturday morning.

Best weekend since the year started. Activities wise at least. Went out for dinner at Islamic, headed for sheesha. Then went to airport to meet adnan. Spent the night at the airport, munching on spinelli stuff. Getting and giving lugguage trolley rides. Talked about all kind of stuff. 4 Horseman, namely Death, Pestilence, War and Famine. Discussed the Exorcist. Talked about religion. Talked about the Shari master shah, talked about football. Customary freaking ghost stories. Dished dirt on law inc. Dished more dirt on law inc. Generally it was great fun. Only got back at 930 am the next day.

Sunday went to Body World. Bloody brilliant, if not alittle disturbing. I highly recommend it. Its worth the whole 18 bucks.

Perhaps one dark spot is that one of my relatives died. Went to the wake. Kids only 18 and 14. A shame really. They are suppose to be my first cousins...but, we were long lost relatives, so we are not that close at all. However, family is family and repect is still required. Be it sincere or just lip-service. So I went. I'm not saying that i didnt want to. Get this clear.




Today..paled in comparison. Play pool with luwin and shawn tho. Not too bad, my game is getting better. More consistent. Making the shots count and concentration is improving. Technique may not be there, but I am adamant I gonna get it right. 9 ball is the way to go, 8 ball is for pussies. But still I stress, pool is all about concentration. How a person can visualize the ball going in and keep the image there. Not easy to be consistent. But have to train harder.



Sometimes I wished that perhaps, i could just be that little more big headed and egotatistic. Cause then, perhaps, I would be more happy. Perhaps if i was ruder and such, I would be able to reject people's request with more ease and not feel guilty. Perhaps then would I not take blame so easily too. But then, am I not like that to most people? I dont know. Perhaps it depends on who the person is. On this occasion, its pretty clear.

Moral of the story?
It does not take much to take much out of me. You just have to be the right person.

That day, I read a report that women like men who are 'emotionally stable'. Seriously, I dont get it. I mean, if you really want stable, go get a fucking machine, god-damn-it, its stable alright! Its mood will never freaking change. I mean, men are humans too and are also affected by emotions and other stuff. Haiz, i dont know lar, perhaps I'm just bitter. Cause as most of you may agree, I am, after all, very emotionally unstable....Some one pass the tranquillzer please.

Today's song will be Fade To Black. Performed by Metallica. Its really good. Listen and be enlightend. Goodnight everyone.


Life it seems,will fade away
Drifting further everyday
Getting lost within myself
Nothing matters no one else
I have lost the will to live
Simply nothing more to give
There is nothing more for me
Need the end to set me free

Things not what they used to be
Missing one inside of me
Deathly lost this can't be real
Can't stand this hell i feel
Emptiness is filling me
To the point of agony
Growing darkness taking dawn
I was me, but now he's gone

No one but me can save myself, but it's too late
now I can't think, think why I should even try

Yesterday seems as though it never existed
Death greets me warm,now I will just say goodbye.


I'm Single but Unavailable. -_- At least I hope so. -_-'

What time's the first train to take me out of here?

Bored. Going out in awhile. Woke up weird today. well, I think will blog abit more tonight.
In the moment. Listen to this song. Quite an old song. Some might remember, some might not. But seriously, no on really cares right? This is Run Away Train. By Tom Petty And The Heartbreakers. Enjoy.

Call you up in the middle of the night,
like a fire flower without a light,
you were there like a blow torch burnin',
I was a key that could use a little turnin'

So tired that I couldn't even sleep,
so many secrets I couldn't keep,
I promised myself I wouldn't weep,
one more promise I couldn't keep

It seems no one can help me now,
I'm in too deep theres no way out,
this time I have really led myself a-stray

Runaway train never goin' back,
wrong way on a one way track
seems like I should be getting somewhere,
somehow I'm neither here nor there

Can you help me remember how to smile,
make it somehow all seem worth while,
how on earth did I get so jaded,
lifes mysterys seem so ????????

I can go where no one else can go,
I know what no one else knows,
here I am just a drowning in the rain,
with a ticket for a runaway train

Everything seems cut and dry,
day and night earth and sky,
somehow I just don't believe it

Runaway train never goin' back,
wrong way on a one way track
seems like I should be getting somewhere,
somehow I'm neither here nor there

Want a ticket for a runaway train?,
like a madman laughin' at the rain,
a little out of touch little insane,
its just easier to deal with the pain

Runaway train never goin' back,
wrong way on a one way track
seems like I should be getting somewhere,
somehow I'm neither here nor there

Runaway train never comin' back,
runaway train tearin' up the track,
runaway train burnin' in my veins,
run away but it always seems the same