By Evanescence, My Immortal
At 4:10 in the morning and being all alone, this song suddenly makes so much sense.
I'm so tired of being here
Supressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time can not erase
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you screamed I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me
You used to captivate me by your resonating mind
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time can not erase
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you screamed I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me
Thursday, February 19, 2004
Tuesday, February 17, 2004
Just when things aint right. Does not mean that they are all wrong.
My valentine's day was uber uber uber exciting. For those who have no idea what happened. Pictures coming up. Be patient! Its good. Real good. Some real good shit. Almost died though. Could have been worst.
Anyway.....test week = Nutter mugging if he wants too week. But after test week...nutter is going off to hawaii.
Nah, I'm just shitting you! whahahahaha................. I wished
today, I was wondering what would i do if i struck american lottery and won 10 million USD. This is what i will buy.
For myself
1) A Ferrari. Red. Drive past cousin's house and honk my horn. If i can make him eat my dust on the road, all the better.
2) A pent house. Sea View.
3)BUY A DRIVING LICENCE and flash it at shaun. You got it in 2 months? I got it in 2 seconds.
4) and a Bus. For entertainment.
5)Season tickets for Inter Matches
For Friends.
1) The 2 fucking best guitars in the world for fn-shredder and Lingster. wif berkly education for em both.
2) A Lexus for shawn. Pay off shue anne.
3)Nissan Fair-lady Z for Jia Yu.
4)Pay a punk rock band of Johan's , aaron's, wen liang's choice to play exculsively for them.
5) Buy a damn pool table and the best pool cue in the whole damn world for luwin.
6) Honda Stream for HGF. Make that 2, one for felicia. And that penthouse adjacent to mine.
7)Buy a box of PDAs and Zippo lighters for Muizz plus his stupid varadero.. A chocolate factory for linn. Lifetime supply of ciggarettes for them both.
8)An arsenal of weapons for mikey.. and a tank. and TNT and dynamite. Bomb shelter and bullet vest for his family.
9)Give adnan a shit load of money. He will know what to do with it. and a pet cat.
10) Get priya the best lawyer in the world damn world to let her sue all the people who talk shit behind her.
11) Buy edelweiss park for edleweiss. HAR HAR HAR
12)Get El hadji Dwarf's mother the fucking best doctor in the world.
13) Buy soffie HRC so she no need squeeze with others while clubbing.
14)Buy edwin a whole container truck load of shoes for him. enuff for him to drown in.
15)Get melissa her car of choice so she no longer need people to give her rides to the beach.
16)Get seng joe all the football boots in the world. so he can parade infront of lee jing wei!
17) Samsung E700 handphone. A charted plane to phuket. and whatever stuff that person wants.
18)Mini wants height. I dont know if its possible. But can try. Height it is!
19)Hardi, if you reading this, i will pay your puny instalments for that miserable motorbike. Just dont get yourself killed. wahhaha. I still wanna hear about you.
20) Zoom Airs in every colour for johan. Life time supply of drink for aaron. Can get high like no ones biz. Oh, camera too.
My Family
1) Anything and everything they want. Honest!
I think thats about it. If i have 10 million USD, these are the things i would get. I think its enuff lar.
OK, enuff of dreaming. back to organising bullshit. test tmr. Remember to come back for the pictures of my valentines. Goodnight everyone.
In that case, you all also pray for me to strike lottery too lor! wahahah.
No regrets, they dont work. No regrets now, they only hurt *Robbie Williams.
My valentine's day was uber uber uber exciting. For those who have no idea what happened. Pictures coming up. Be patient! Its good. Real good. Some real good shit. Almost died though. Could have been worst.
Anyway.....test week = Nutter mugging if he wants too week. But after test week...nutter is going off to hawaii.
Nah, I'm just shitting you! whahahahaha................. I wished
today, I was wondering what would i do if i struck american lottery and won 10 million USD. This is what i will buy.
For myself
1) A Ferrari. Red. Drive past cousin's house and honk my horn. If i can make him eat my dust on the road, all the better.
2) A pent house. Sea View.
3)BUY A DRIVING LICENCE and flash it at shaun. You got it in 2 months? I got it in 2 seconds.
4) and a Bus. For entertainment.
5)Season tickets for Inter Matches
For Friends.
1) The 2 fucking best guitars in the world for fn-shredder and Lingster. wif berkly education for em both.
2) A Lexus for shawn. Pay off shue anne.
3)Nissan Fair-lady Z for Jia Yu.
4)Pay a punk rock band of Johan's , aaron's, wen liang's choice to play exculsively for them.
5) Buy a damn pool table and the best pool cue in the whole damn world for luwin.
6) Honda Stream for HGF. Make that 2, one for felicia. And that penthouse adjacent to mine.
7)Buy a box of PDAs and Zippo lighters for Muizz plus his stupid varadero.. A chocolate factory for linn. Lifetime supply of ciggarettes for them both.
8)An arsenal of weapons for mikey.. and a tank. and TNT and dynamite. Bomb shelter and bullet vest for his family.
9)Give adnan a shit load of money. He will know what to do with it. and a pet cat.
10) Get priya the best lawyer in the world damn world to let her sue all the people who talk shit behind her.
11) Buy edelweiss park for edleweiss. HAR HAR HAR
12)Get El hadji Dwarf's mother the fucking best doctor in the world.
13) Buy soffie HRC so she no need squeeze with others while clubbing.
14)Buy edwin a whole container truck load of shoes for him. enuff for him to drown in.
15)Get melissa her car of choice so she no longer need people to give her rides to the beach.
16)Get seng joe all the football boots in the world. so he can parade infront of lee jing wei!
17) Samsung E700 handphone. A charted plane to phuket. and whatever stuff that person wants.
18)Mini wants height. I dont know if its possible. But can try. Height it is!
19)Hardi, if you reading this, i will pay your puny instalments for that miserable motorbike. Just dont get yourself killed. wahhaha. I still wanna hear about you.
20) Zoom Airs in every colour for johan. Life time supply of drink for aaron. Can get high like no ones biz. Oh, camera too.
My Family
1) Anything and everything they want. Honest!
I think thats about it. If i have 10 million USD, these are the things i would get. I think its enuff lar.
OK, enuff of dreaming. back to organising bullshit. test tmr. Remember to come back for the pictures of my valentines. Goodnight everyone.
In that case, you all also pray for me to strike lottery too lor! wahahah.
No regrets, they dont work. No regrets now, they only hurt *Robbie Williams.
Saturday, February 14, 2004
NAH..................I'm just shitting you!!!!
This week, i really done some serious serious serious lepaking. Phew, but it was good. As always.
Monday was spent completing my secret mission. Only 3 persons know abt it. 2 girls and 1 guy. Played Pool with luwin and shawn.
Tuesday was like damn awesome, ordered pizza to makan under void deck. Stupid Pizza hut guy, at first say cannot deliver, then ask me if there was a funeral. I was like, what the hell??!? After makan ,went to sheesha with fn-shredder and Ling Yo! after Ling Yo! got his comics at bugis.... We sat on the sofa, sheesha(ed) and like drifted and drifted till we had to go home.
Wednesday, erm, went to NYP to pass Man Utd Jersey to HGF. Ate there, slacked there. Went to the library, went to the toliets, went to the canteens, saw lydia,went to the computer lab, then went to meet luwin to play pool at parkway later in the evening.
Thursday, lagi best, spent the morning rushing my project, rush to sch to hand up. Went to play soccer. Slack at the coffee shop after soccer with shawn, luwin, Ling Yo!, peri-head, Muizzcini and myself. Went home only at 11! Fancy that!
Today......................fwah, went to family tutorial without my tutorial, made a farce out of the tutorial. DOnt get me wrong, it was fun! tease Christina Lim and stuff, freaking good stuff.
Then went to makan KFC with Ling Yo! and Fn-Shredder. Then went for accounting tutorial which was another farce. But it was fun too. Made fun of dumb crooks. Morale of the story? ALWAYS STEAL LARGE AMOUNTS OF MONEY IF YOU WANT TO STEAL. AND AFTER YOU STEAL THE BOOTY, RUN LIKE THE WIND. RUN LIKE HELL. TO ZAMBABWE OR SOMETHING. MALI ALSO CAN. TUNISIA ALSO NO ONE CAN FIND YOU.
Then after that, complete some family research qns shit, then went to marina square. Ling Yo! had some errands to run. Then makan again, then headed to the war memorial to lepak. The place is awesome. I dont know how fn-shredder and Ling Yo! found this nirvana like place. wahahhaa. THen I went home at about 10, 11.
You know whats the amazing thing? I have a test on tuesday and friday, with a project due on the same friday and conveyancing completion on the next day which is saturday. And i haven started to do anything. Thus, today, saturday, I shall be heading down to school to get some preparation done. Pray for me. wahahahha!!!!
Whats the thing about valentine's day? what so special about 14th febraury? Today I heard Christian Lim said this
" Everyday should be Valentine's day."
Which one makes more sense? you all decide. I think the latter.
Oh yea, wanna give special thanks to Ling Yo!, aaron aaron the barren moron , shawn and el hadji drawf for helping me with my project by doing a short write up for me. Thanks aaron again for those splendid pictures. thanks people, appreciate it. I only manage to complete it in time and actually enjoy doing it with your help. Thanks lots ah!
OK, really beat. wanna go off now. Today's song shall be Between You and Me. Recomended to me by aaron. whaha. By Ataris. Quite a nice song.
Won't you come over?
You know that you want to.
How does it feel to know
I still want you?
Why do we always seem to want
what we can't have?
Lessons learned.
But then I listen to my heart,
And it says still run back for more.
I'm happy for you.
I'm sure that he really loves you.
But it breaks my heart,
To know I can't hold you.
(yeah)
It's just hard to think
I'll never get the chance
To say you're mine.
But every time you hear this song
You'll know you've made a mark
On my heart and my mind.
This week, i really done some serious serious serious lepaking. Phew, but it was good. As always.
Monday was spent completing my secret mission. Only 3 persons know abt it. 2 girls and 1 guy. Played Pool with luwin and shawn.
Tuesday was like damn awesome, ordered pizza to makan under void deck. Stupid Pizza hut guy, at first say cannot deliver, then ask me if there was a funeral. I was like, what the hell??!? After makan ,went to sheesha with fn-shredder and Ling Yo! after Ling Yo! got his comics at bugis.... We sat on the sofa, sheesha(ed) and like drifted and drifted till we had to go home.
Wednesday, erm, went to NYP to pass Man Utd Jersey to HGF. Ate there, slacked there. Went to the library, went to the toliets, went to the canteens, saw lydia,went to the computer lab, then went to meet luwin to play pool at parkway later in the evening.
Thursday, lagi best, spent the morning rushing my project, rush to sch to hand up. Went to play soccer. Slack at the coffee shop after soccer with shawn, luwin, Ling Yo!, peri-head, Muizzcini and myself. Went home only at 11! Fancy that!
Today......................fwah, went to family tutorial without my tutorial, made a farce out of the tutorial. DOnt get me wrong, it was fun! tease Christina Lim and stuff, freaking good stuff.
Then went to makan KFC with Ling Yo! and Fn-Shredder. Then went for accounting tutorial which was another farce. But it was fun too. Made fun of dumb crooks. Morale of the story? ALWAYS STEAL LARGE AMOUNTS OF MONEY IF YOU WANT TO STEAL. AND AFTER YOU STEAL THE BOOTY, RUN LIKE THE WIND. RUN LIKE HELL. TO ZAMBABWE OR SOMETHING. MALI ALSO CAN. TUNISIA ALSO NO ONE CAN FIND YOU.
Then after that, complete some family research qns shit, then went to marina square. Ling Yo! had some errands to run. Then makan again, then headed to the war memorial to lepak. The place is awesome. I dont know how fn-shredder and Ling Yo! found this nirvana like place. wahahhaa. THen I went home at about 10, 11.
You know whats the amazing thing? I have a test on tuesday and friday, with a project due on the same friday and conveyancing completion on the next day which is saturday. And i haven started to do anything. Thus, today, saturday, I shall be heading down to school to get some preparation done. Pray for me. wahahahha!!!!
Whats the thing about valentine's day? what so special about 14th febraury? Today I heard Christian Lim said this
" Everyday should be Valentine's day."
Which one makes more sense? you all decide. I think the latter.
Oh yea, wanna give special thanks to Ling Yo!, aaron aaron the barren moron , shawn and el hadji drawf for helping me with my project by doing a short write up for me. Thanks aaron again for those splendid pictures. thanks people, appreciate it. I only manage to complete it in time and actually enjoy doing it with your help. Thanks lots ah!
OK, really beat. wanna go off now. Today's song shall be Between You and Me. Recomended to me by aaron. whaha. By Ataris. Quite a nice song.
Won't you come over?
You know that you want to.
How does it feel to know
I still want you?
Why do we always seem to want
what we can't have?
Lessons learned.
But then I listen to my heart,
And it says still run back for more.
I'm happy for you.
I'm sure that he really loves you.
But it breaks my heart,
To know I can't hold you.
(yeah)
It's just hard to think
I'll never get the chance
To say you're mine.
But every time you hear this song
You'll know you've made a mark
On my heart and my mind.
Tuesday, February 10, 2004
Thru this darkness, I'm alive but I'm alone.
Gonna talk about friday night/ saturday morning.
Best weekend since the year started. Activities wise at least. Went out for dinner at Islamic, headed for sheesha. Then went to airport to meet adnan. Spent the night at the airport, munching on spinelli stuff. Getting and giving lugguage trolley rides. Talked about all kind of stuff. 4 Horseman, namely Death, Pestilence, War and Famine. Discussed the Exorcist. Talked about religion. Talked about the Shari master shah, talked about football. Customary freaking ghost stories. Dished dirt on law inc. Dished more dirt on law inc. Generally it was great fun. Only got back at 930 am the next day.
Sunday went to Body World. Bloody brilliant, if not alittle disturbing. I highly recommend it. Its worth the whole 18 bucks.
Perhaps one dark spot is that one of my relatives died. Went to the wake. Kids only 18 and 14. A shame really. They are suppose to be my first cousins...but, we were long lost relatives, so we are not that close at all. However, family is family and repect is still required. Be it sincere or just lip-service. So I went. I'm not saying that i didnt want to. Get this clear.
Today..paled in comparison. Play pool with luwin and shawn tho. Not too bad, my game is getting better. More consistent. Making the shots count and concentration is improving. Technique may not be there, but I am adamant I gonna get it right. 9 ball is the way to go, 8 ball is for pussies. But still I stress, pool is all about concentration. How a person can visualize the ball going in and keep the image there. Not easy to be consistent. But have to train harder.
Sometimes I wished that perhaps, i could just be that little more big headed and egotatistic. Cause then, perhaps, I would be more happy. Perhaps if i was ruder and such, I would be able to reject people's request with more ease and not feel guilty. Perhaps then would I not take blame so easily too. But then, am I not like that to most people? I dont know. Perhaps it depends on who the person is. On this occasion, its pretty clear.
Moral of the story?
It does not take much to take much out of me. You just have to be the right person.
That day, I read a report that women like men who are 'emotionally stable'. Seriously, I dont get it. I mean, if you really want stable, go get a fucking machine, god-damn-it, its stable alright! Its mood will never freaking change. I mean, men are humans too and are also affected by emotions and other stuff. Haiz, i dont know lar, perhaps I'm just bitter. Cause as most of you may agree, I am, after all, very emotionally unstable....Some one pass the tranquillzer please.
Today's song will be Fade To Black. Performed by Metallica. Its really good. Listen and be enlightend. Goodnight everyone.
Life it seems,will fade away
Drifting further everyday
Getting lost within myself
Nothing matters no one else
I have lost the will to live
Simply nothing more to give
There is nothing more for me
Need the end to set me free
Things not what they used to be
Missing one inside of me
Deathly lost this can't be real
Can't stand this hell i feel
Emptiness is filling me
To the point of agony
Growing darkness taking dawn
I was me, but now he's gone
No one but me can save myself, but it's too late
now I can't think, think why I should even try
Yesterday seems as though it never existed
Death greets me warm,now I will just say goodbye.
I'm Single but Unavailable. -_- At least I hope so. -_-'
Gonna talk about friday night/ saturday morning.
Best weekend since the year started. Activities wise at least. Went out for dinner at Islamic, headed for sheesha. Then went to airport to meet adnan. Spent the night at the airport, munching on spinelli stuff. Getting and giving lugguage trolley rides. Talked about all kind of stuff. 4 Horseman, namely Death, Pestilence, War and Famine. Discussed the Exorcist. Talked about religion. Talked about the Shari master shah, talked about football. Customary freaking ghost stories. Dished dirt on law inc. Dished more dirt on law inc. Generally it was great fun. Only got back at 930 am the next day.
Sunday went to Body World. Bloody brilliant, if not alittle disturbing. I highly recommend it. Its worth the whole 18 bucks.
Perhaps one dark spot is that one of my relatives died. Went to the wake. Kids only 18 and 14. A shame really. They are suppose to be my first cousins...but, we were long lost relatives, so we are not that close at all. However, family is family and repect is still required. Be it sincere or just lip-service. So I went. I'm not saying that i didnt want to. Get this clear.
Today..paled in comparison. Play pool with luwin and shawn tho. Not too bad, my game is getting better. More consistent. Making the shots count and concentration is improving. Technique may not be there, but I am adamant I gonna get it right. 9 ball is the way to go, 8 ball is for pussies. But still I stress, pool is all about concentration. How a person can visualize the ball going in and keep the image there. Not easy to be consistent. But have to train harder.
Sometimes I wished that perhaps, i could just be that little more big headed and egotatistic. Cause then, perhaps, I would be more happy. Perhaps if i was ruder and such, I would be able to reject people's request with more ease and not feel guilty. Perhaps then would I not take blame so easily too. But then, am I not like that to most people? I dont know. Perhaps it depends on who the person is. On this occasion, its pretty clear.
Moral of the story?
It does not take much to take much out of me. You just have to be the right person.
That day, I read a report that women like men who are 'emotionally stable'. Seriously, I dont get it. I mean, if you really want stable, go get a fucking machine, god-damn-it, its stable alright! Its mood will never freaking change. I mean, men are humans too and are also affected by emotions and other stuff. Haiz, i dont know lar, perhaps I'm just bitter. Cause as most of you may agree, I am, after all, very emotionally unstable....Some one pass the tranquillzer please.
Today's song will be Fade To Black. Performed by Metallica. Its really good. Listen and be enlightend. Goodnight everyone.
Life it seems,will fade away
Drifting further everyday
Getting lost within myself
Nothing matters no one else
I have lost the will to live
Simply nothing more to give
There is nothing more for me
Need the end to set me free
Things not what they used to be
Missing one inside of me
Deathly lost this can't be real
Can't stand this hell i feel
Emptiness is filling me
To the point of agony
Growing darkness taking dawn
I was me, but now he's gone
No one but me can save myself, but it's too late
now I can't think, think why I should even try
Yesterday seems as though it never existed
Death greets me warm,now I will just say goodbye.
I'm Single but Unavailable. -_- At least I hope so. -_-'
Sunday, February 08, 2004
What time's the first train to take me out of here?
Bored. Going out in awhile. Woke up weird today. well, I think will blog abit more tonight.
In the moment. Listen to this song. Quite an old song. Some might remember, some might not. But seriously, no on really cares right? This is Run Away Train. By Tom Petty And The Heartbreakers. Enjoy.
Call you up in the middle of the night,
like a fire flower without a light,
you were there like a blow torch burnin',
I was a key that could use a little turnin'
So tired that I couldn't even sleep,
so many secrets I couldn't keep,
I promised myself I wouldn't weep,
one more promise I couldn't keep
It seems no one can help me now,
I'm in too deep theres no way out,
this time I have really led myself a-stray
Runaway train never goin' back,
wrong way on a one way track
seems like I should be getting somewhere,
somehow I'm neither here nor there
Can you help me remember how to smile,
make it somehow all seem worth while,
how on earth did I get so jaded,
lifes mysterys seem so ????????
I can go where no one else can go,
I know what no one else knows,
here I am just a drowning in the rain,
with a ticket for a runaway train
Everything seems cut and dry,
day and night earth and sky,
somehow I just don't believe it
Runaway train never goin' back,
wrong way on a one way track
seems like I should be getting somewhere,
somehow I'm neither here nor there
Want a ticket for a runaway train?,
like a madman laughin' at the rain,
a little out of touch little insane,
its just easier to deal with the pain
Runaway train never goin' back,
wrong way on a one way track
seems like I should be getting somewhere,
somehow I'm neither here nor there
Runaway train never comin' back,
runaway train tearin' up the track,
runaway train burnin' in my veins,
run away but it always seems the same
Bored. Going out in awhile. Woke up weird today. well, I think will blog abit more tonight.
In the moment. Listen to this song. Quite an old song. Some might remember, some might not. But seriously, no on really cares right? This is Run Away Train. By Tom Petty And The Heartbreakers. Enjoy.
Call you up in the middle of the night,
like a fire flower without a light,
you were there like a blow torch burnin',
I was a key that could use a little turnin'
So tired that I couldn't even sleep,
so many secrets I couldn't keep,
I promised myself I wouldn't weep,
one more promise I couldn't keep
It seems no one can help me now,
I'm in too deep theres no way out,
this time I have really led myself a-stray
Runaway train never goin' back,
wrong way on a one way track
seems like I should be getting somewhere,
somehow I'm neither here nor there
Can you help me remember how to smile,
make it somehow all seem worth while,
how on earth did I get so jaded,
lifes mysterys seem so ????????
I can go where no one else can go,
I know what no one else knows,
here I am just a drowning in the rain,
with a ticket for a runaway train
Everything seems cut and dry,
day and night earth and sky,
somehow I just don't believe it
Runaway train never goin' back,
wrong way on a one way track
seems like I should be getting somewhere,
somehow I'm neither here nor there
Want a ticket for a runaway train?,
like a madman laughin' at the rain,
a little out of touch little insane,
its just easier to deal with the pain
Runaway train never goin' back,
wrong way on a one way track
seems like I should be getting somewhere,
somehow I'm neither here nor there
Runaway train never comin' back,
runaway train tearin' up the track,
runaway train burnin' in my veins,
run away but it always seems the same
Thursday, February 05, 2004
Losing Grip.
Missed the damn OB lecture today. Because I couldnt get up. First time since school started. I need to get a grip on my life damnit.
Have to go do the fucking caveat for linda tan cause i screwed it up. My conveyancing is going down the drain and i can see the good grade slipping away. wtf.
I really dont want to go to school and subject myself to some sort of mental torture that I put myself through. Its damn dumb. But, cant seem to find a way through it. I mean, its always there when I'm in school. Balls, I'm easily irritated and I'm freaking hugely irritated by whats happening to me at school this days. Its like a fucking parade show.
Dont mind the strong language, I woke up in a bad mood because of a certain dream I was having. Only to wake up and reliase its all fucking make believe. Its like, wth, it all seems so perfect, and its the last thing i want to dream of, yet, it has to happen to piss me off as i know it will never happen. Dreams to come through? hardly, thats for kids.
Its the same story, thinking i can do it, let go and what have you. But no, its fucking impossible. I couldnt even do it if i wanted to, not saying that I dont want to. God-damn-it, i wished they had brain washing devices, I would be the first one to buy one.
Shit. I think I better get a move on to school now. Need to get my stuff done. Be angry somemore tonight. see you all then.
Oh yea, happy birthday mum. Its my mum's birthday you idiots! Better send a birthday card or what have you to my place.
No particular meaning for me choosing this song is, just like it very much. What You Are, by Audio slave. Enjoy.
And when you wanted me
I came to you
And when you wanted someone else
I withdrew
And when you asked for light
I set myself on fire
And if I go far away I know
You'll find another slave
Cause now I'm free from what you want
Now I'm free from what you need
Now I'm free from what you are
And when you wanted blood
I cut my veins
And when you wanted love
I bled myself again
Now that I've had my fill of you
I'll give you up forever
And here I go far away
I know you'll find another slave
Cause now I'm free from what you want
Now I'm free from what you need
Now I'm free from what you are
Then a vision came to me
When you came along
I gave you everything
But then you wanted more
Cause now I'm free from what you want
Now I'm free from what you need
Now I'm free from what you are
Now I'm free from what you want
Now I'm free from what you need
Now I'm free from what you are
Inspite of everything. I still care.
Missed the damn OB lecture today. Because I couldnt get up. First time since school started. I need to get a grip on my life damnit.
Have to go do the fucking caveat for linda tan cause i screwed it up. My conveyancing is going down the drain and i can see the good grade slipping away. wtf.
I really dont want to go to school and subject myself to some sort of mental torture that I put myself through. Its damn dumb. But, cant seem to find a way through it. I mean, its always there when I'm in school. Balls, I'm easily irritated and I'm freaking hugely irritated by whats happening to me at school this days. Its like a fucking parade show.
Dont mind the strong language, I woke up in a bad mood because of a certain dream I was having. Only to wake up and reliase its all fucking make believe. Its like, wth, it all seems so perfect, and its the last thing i want to dream of, yet, it has to happen to piss me off as i know it will never happen. Dreams to come through? hardly, thats for kids.
Its the same story, thinking i can do it, let go and what have you. But no, its fucking impossible. I couldnt even do it if i wanted to, not saying that I dont want to. God-damn-it, i wished they had brain washing devices, I would be the first one to buy one.
Shit. I think I better get a move on to school now. Need to get my stuff done. Be angry somemore tonight. see you all then.
Oh yea, happy birthday mum. Its my mum's birthday you idiots! Better send a birthday card or what have you to my place.
No particular meaning for me choosing this song is, just like it very much. What You Are, by Audio slave. Enjoy.
And when you wanted me
I came to you
And when you wanted someone else
I withdrew
And when you asked for light
I set myself on fire
And if I go far away I know
You'll find another slave
Cause now I'm free from what you want
Now I'm free from what you need
Now I'm free from what you are
And when you wanted blood
I cut my veins
And when you wanted love
I bled myself again
Now that I've had my fill of you
I'll give you up forever
And here I go far away
I know you'll find another slave
Cause now I'm free from what you want
Now I'm free from what you need
Now I'm free from what you are
Then a vision came to me
When you came along
I gave you everything
But then you wanted more
Cause now I'm free from what you want
Now I'm free from what you need
Now I'm free from what you are
Now I'm free from what you want
Now I'm free from what you need
Now I'm free from what you are
Inspite of everything. I still care.
Monday, February 02, 2004
Fuckaboutit.
It was akward alright. I was shifty eyed, uncomfortable silence. Just walking, like we didnt know each other. People walking in between us like we were strangers. One word answers to 3 words questions. I wondered if I really caused it to be like that. . .It was like we didnt know each other. Perhaps it was better if it were that way. But it aint.
It was probably my fault that we were in this situation. There is this block. This unwillingness to say anything remotely resembling anything related to caring. At least for me its this way. But the truth is that it is too difficult not to care. When that person reprociates that feeling of uncaring, you wonder to yourself how can someone be so uncaring to one that cares so much. But then, its perhaps this that makes us humans.
I'm dishonest. People usually are. We dont speak how we feel. We smile when we feel like shit. We act blur when we think smart. We praise when we look down. We talk well while we backstab. We act like we dont care when we do.
But why is that so? Dont ask me. I dont know. Wont the world be a better place if we all showed how we feel about each other?
I say I dont like it when I actually do. I say its in the past while I'm still hoping...and the lists goes on. But again. why? I dont know.
I said that I will make peace but I never did. I said that it would all be alright when obviously I knew it wont be.
I thought I could handle it and even said I could when I knew that most probably I couldnt.
Hell, I could try of cos. But the question now is whether I try or I die trying.
Of cos, its been months since that wednesday. almost 5 months. But then...nothing much has been changed. I still feel that way. I tried to look for alternatives and move on. But its hard when you thought that you have found THE dream. When you are so sure that its the one, nothing much pleases you anymore. So what can you do? You wait. Do you try harder to get it? I think not. Its the same old story of once bitten twice shy. So you will probably just sit around and look at the menu and not be interested in any other stuff.
Thats what I'm doing. Trust me, its not fun when that item has already been ordered by someone else.
Perhaps I should say what I really feel from now on. If i like it, say I do. If i dont, say I dont. Maybe, honesty really is the best policy. Maybe, honesty is the thing that will lead to sucess and the things and people that I want. Maybe my dishonesty has been my downfall. I dont know.
Taking everything I just said. Ponder this.
If I said now that I dont like her anymore. Would any of you believe me? Yes or No? Its that simple.
My answer? its something that I can laugh about. Its dumb nuts the way I'm taking things. Stupid behaviour that cannot be explained.
This first month has been very unlike me. Made many decisions that were dumb. Contradicting most of the time. Me doing things that my head dosent want me too. My heart has been bullying my brain to the extent that my brain now does not work much nowadays. People say follow your heart, but now I dont really believe so. Following my heart has bought me nothing but trouble.
I wish for the smart 'me' to be back. Cause currently, the dumb 'me' is in the house.
How would I describe it? I think. Its like a disease. Its Matchbox20 with Disease.
Feels like you made a mistake
You made somebody's heart break
But now I have to let you go
I have to let you go
You left a stain
On every one of my good days
But I am stronger than you know
I have to let you go
No one's ever turned you over
No one's tried
To ever let you down,
Beautiful girl
Bless your heart
I got a disease
Deep inside me
Makes me feel uneasy baby
I can't live without you
Tell me what I am supposed to do about it
Keep your distance from it
Don't pay no attention to me
I got a disease
Feels like you're making a mess
You're hell on wheels in a black dress
You drove me to the fire
And left me there to burn
Every little thing you do is tragic
All my life, oh was magic
Beautiful girl
I can't breathe
I got a disease
Deep inside me
Makes me feel uneasy baby
I can't live without you
Tell me what I am supposed to do about it
Keep your distance from it
Don't pay no attention to me
I got a disease
I think that I'm sick
But leave me be while my world is coming down on me
You taste like honey, honey
Tell me can I be your honey
Be, be strong
Keep telling myself it that won't take long till
I'm free of my disease
Yeah well free of my disease
Free of my disease
I got a disease
Deep inside me
Makes me feel uneasy baby
I can't live without you
Tell me what I am supposed to do about it
Keep your distance from it
Don't pay no attention to me
I got a disease
I think that I'm sick
But leave me be while my world is coming down on me
You taste like honey, honey
Tell me can I be your honey
Be, be strong
Keep telling myself it that won't take long till
I'm free of my disease
Yeah well free of my disease
Free of my disease
That was a fucking facade on my part. Sorry.
It was akward alright. I was shifty eyed, uncomfortable silence. Just walking, like we didnt know each other. People walking in between us like we were strangers. One word answers to 3 words questions. I wondered if I really caused it to be like that. . .It was like we didnt know each other. Perhaps it was better if it were that way. But it aint.
It was probably my fault that we were in this situation. There is this block. This unwillingness to say anything remotely resembling anything related to caring. At least for me its this way. But the truth is that it is too difficult not to care. When that person reprociates that feeling of uncaring, you wonder to yourself how can someone be so uncaring to one that cares so much. But then, its perhaps this that makes us humans.
I'm dishonest. People usually are. We dont speak how we feel. We smile when we feel like shit. We act blur when we think smart. We praise when we look down. We talk well while we backstab. We act like we dont care when we do.
But why is that so? Dont ask me. I dont know. Wont the world be a better place if we all showed how we feel about each other?
I say I dont like it when I actually do. I say its in the past while I'm still hoping...and the lists goes on. But again. why? I dont know.
I said that I will make peace but I never did. I said that it would all be alright when obviously I knew it wont be.
I thought I could handle it and even said I could when I knew that most probably I couldnt.
Hell, I could try of cos. But the question now is whether I try or I die trying.
Of cos, its been months since that wednesday. almost 5 months. But then...nothing much has been changed. I still feel that way. I tried to look for alternatives and move on. But its hard when you thought that you have found THE dream. When you are so sure that its the one, nothing much pleases you anymore. So what can you do? You wait. Do you try harder to get it? I think not. Its the same old story of once bitten twice shy. So you will probably just sit around and look at the menu and not be interested in any other stuff.
Thats what I'm doing. Trust me, its not fun when that item has already been ordered by someone else.
Perhaps I should say what I really feel from now on. If i like it, say I do. If i dont, say I dont. Maybe, honesty really is the best policy. Maybe, honesty is the thing that will lead to sucess and the things and people that I want. Maybe my dishonesty has been my downfall. I dont know.
Taking everything I just said. Ponder this.
If I said now that I dont like her anymore. Would any of you believe me? Yes or No? Its that simple.
My answer? its something that I can laugh about. Its dumb nuts the way I'm taking things. Stupid behaviour that cannot be explained.
This first month has been very unlike me. Made many decisions that were dumb. Contradicting most of the time. Me doing things that my head dosent want me too. My heart has been bullying my brain to the extent that my brain now does not work much nowadays. People say follow your heart, but now I dont really believe so. Following my heart has bought me nothing but trouble.
I wish for the smart 'me' to be back. Cause currently, the dumb 'me' is in the house.
How would I describe it? I think. Its like a disease. Its Matchbox20 with Disease.
Feels like you made a mistake
You made somebody's heart break
But now I have to let you go
I have to let you go
You left a stain
On every one of my good days
But I am stronger than you know
I have to let you go
No one's ever turned you over
No one's tried
To ever let you down,
Beautiful girl
Bless your heart
I got a disease
Deep inside me
Makes me feel uneasy baby
I can't live without you
Tell me what I am supposed to do about it
Keep your distance from it
Don't pay no attention to me
I got a disease
Feels like you're making a mess
You're hell on wheels in a black dress
You drove me to the fire
And left me there to burn
Every little thing you do is tragic
All my life, oh was magic
Beautiful girl
I can't breathe
I got a disease
Deep inside me
Makes me feel uneasy baby
I can't live without you
Tell me what I am supposed to do about it
Keep your distance from it
Don't pay no attention to me
I got a disease
I think that I'm sick
But leave me be while my world is coming down on me
You taste like honey, honey
Tell me can I be your honey
Be, be strong
Keep telling myself it that won't take long till
I'm free of my disease
Yeah well free of my disease
Free of my disease
I got a disease
Deep inside me
Makes me feel uneasy baby
I can't live without you
Tell me what I am supposed to do about it
Keep your distance from it
Don't pay no attention to me
I got a disease
I think that I'm sick
But leave me be while my world is coming down on me
You taste like honey, honey
Tell me can I be your honey
Be, be strong
Keep telling myself it that won't take long till
I'm free of my disease
Yeah well free of my disease
Free of my disease
That was a fucking facade on my part. Sorry.
Friday, January 30, 2004
WET WET WET
Fwah, rain for consecutive days since Friday. Thats almost a whole week.
So wet , I get wet, my stuff get wet, everything get wet. Sian. Cant even play soccer. Since pitch was wet.
Anyway, yesterday was dead fun because of this shop that me ,lingster and fn visited. Its called U4RIA. Its at Peninsular plaza. The stuff there.......really no way to explain. We were like giggling like 3 school girls laughing at all or almost all of their merchantdise. Universal Rings of Hell, Road warrior whacker etc etc etc.... haha, wanna look for shoes, then stumbled on this shop. Please ah, if not mature enuff, stay away from there. I had like 2 scoops of andersens and was like....damn, at times like that, can bloody die happy....wahahhaha. Only went home about 9:30.
Today, alot of lessons, so quite busy, murder game has finally ended, I think I have chosen my answer. Got some idea and clues. Then after murder game, went to lepak with fn, luwin and muizz ah, at biz park. Late already, so had whole canteen to ourselves. Told silly malaysian jokes. wahaha, damn bloody bloody funny. Really ah, nothing more fun then poking fun at our neighbours across the causeway.
I shall tell one now. Damn funny.
Malaysia decided to embark on a space project. So they had to find a suitable astronaut.
Soon, 3 men were shortlisted. A chinese, a malay and an indian. So the Mahatir himself decided that he would conduct the interviews.
In came the indian. Mahatir asked ' so mutu, how much would you want to be paid?" The indian replied that he would need 1 million dollars. Mahatir was shocked. But he asked why the indian needed so much money. The indian replied " cause now ah, alcohol expensive lar, need more money." Mahatir thought it was fair enuff, so he sent the indian out and called the malay in.
In came the malay. So mahatir asked the same question to Ah Mat on the amount that he wanted to be paid. Ah-mat replied" I need 2 million ah!" to the shock of mahatir. But he kept his composure and asked ah-mat to explain. Ah-mat said" dear datuk ah, I have 3 wives and 15 children and I need to feed em all. 2 million is for my family" Mahatir thought it was a good enuff reason. So he sent the malay out and asked for the chinese.
In came the chinese. Mahatir proceeded to ask ah beng what he would like to be paid. To mahatir's great astonishment. Ahbeng asked for 3 million dollars. But Mahatir still kept his cool. He asked the chinese why he needed so much money. This is what ah beng said. " I take 1 million. you keep one million. Give that ah neh 1 million ask him go up to space." Mahatir could not believe it.
So you all can see, such a small joke, yet so much stereo typing. But I must admit, I found it extremely funny tho. Tho, wondered why it had to involve mahatir. Could have been anyone. haiz...wahhaha
Oh yea, remembered that I said hair colour was fine? Now , the attention has been turned to my hair lenght. Have been told in no uncertain terms that I have to have it cut. Sian lar......so damn sian. But nevermind, shall do it.
This week seriously, have been like spending huge amounts of time bumming around. Joking and stuff. But then , its relaxing. No wonder I'm a slacker. However, there is a difference between not doing any thing at all and doing things that are interesting. For me, I prefer to do interesting things. Rather then just not doing anything at all which really is slacking in the rawest term. haiz....need to be more motivated for my studies. Someone please motivate me. hahhahaa
Gotta turn in, Family law tut at 9am.
From the law event supporting good student ,Goodnight everyone. fwahhahahaha
Not sure of what I want? Or is it unattainable? or is it Unattaiunable thus making me unsure if I really want it?
Fwah, rain for consecutive days since Friday. Thats almost a whole week.
So wet , I get wet, my stuff get wet, everything get wet. Sian. Cant even play soccer. Since pitch was wet.
Anyway, yesterday was dead fun because of this shop that me ,lingster and fn visited. Its called U4RIA. Its at Peninsular plaza. The stuff there.......really no way to explain. We were like giggling like 3 school girls laughing at all or almost all of their merchantdise. Universal Rings of Hell, Road warrior whacker etc etc etc.... haha, wanna look for shoes, then stumbled on this shop. Please ah, if not mature enuff, stay away from there. I had like 2 scoops of andersens and was like....damn, at times like that, can bloody die happy....wahahhaha. Only went home about 9:30.
Today, alot of lessons, so quite busy, murder game has finally ended, I think I have chosen my answer. Got some idea and clues. Then after murder game, went to lepak with fn, luwin and muizz ah, at biz park. Late already, so had whole canteen to ourselves. Told silly malaysian jokes. wahaha, damn bloody bloody funny. Really ah, nothing more fun then poking fun at our neighbours across the causeway.
I shall tell one now. Damn funny.
Malaysia decided to embark on a space project. So they had to find a suitable astronaut.
Soon, 3 men were shortlisted. A chinese, a malay and an indian. So the Mahatir himself decided that he would conduct the interviews.
In came the indian. Mahatir asked ' so mutu, how much would you want to be paid?" The indian replied that he would need 1 million dollars. Mahatir was shocked. But he asked why the indian needed so much money. The indian replied " cause now ah, alcohol expensive lar, need more money." Mahatir thought it was fair enuff, so he sent the indian out and called the malay in.
In came the malay. So mahatir asked the same question to Ah Mat on the amount that he wanted to be paid. Ah-mat replied" I need 2 million ah!" to the shock of mahatir. But he kept his composure and asked ah-mat to explain. Ah-mat said" dear datuk ah, I have 3 wives and 15 children and I need to feed em all. 2 million is for my family" Mahatir thought it was a good enuff reason. So he sent the malay out and asked for the chinese.
In came the chinese. Mahatir proceeded to ask ah beng what he would like to be paid. To mahatir's great astonishment. Ahbeng asked for 3 million dollars. But Mahatir still kept his cool. He asked the chinese why he needed so much money. This is what ah beng said. " I take 1 million. you keep one million. Give that ah neh 1 million ask him go up to space." Mahatir could not believe it.
So you all can see, such a small joke, yet so much stereo typing. But I must admit, I found it extremely funny tho. Tho, wondered why it had to involve mahatir. Could have been anyone. haiz...wahhaha
Oh yea, remembered that I said hair colour was fine? Now , the attention has been turned to my hair lenght. Have been told in no uncertain terms that I have to have it cut. Sian lar......so damn sian. But nevermind, shall do it.
This week seriously, have been like spending huge amounts of time bumming around. Joking and stuff. But then , its relaxing. No wonder I'm a slacker. However, there is a difference between not doing any thing at all and doing things that are interesting. For me, I prefer to do interesting things. Rather then just not doing anything at all which really is slacking in the rawest term. haiz....need to be more motivated for my studies. Someone please motivate me. hahhahaa
Gotta turn in, Family law tut at 9am.
From the law event supporting good student ,Goodnight everyone. fwahhahahaha
Not sure of what I want? Or is it unattainable? or is it Unattaiunable thus making me unsure if I really want it?
Tuesday, January 27, 2004
Some Bodo left this books behind!
I said this outloud when the 'bodo' was actually a few steps away. I didnt see him. Only saw the books.
This morning was stressful. All the work for conveyancing was darn difficult and time was short even when it was a 3 hour slot. Didnt finnish, have to finnish up and let her check. Fwah, if it isnt stressful enough, its worth a bloody 40 marks. wth.
Went to orchad road to walk walk today. Bought some stuff. Nothing much. Played pool at mambo. I was swayed by shawn to play...seem to have lost my game already...suck at pool now.
Went back to school for the murder game. I was late, because .....of pool?
Murder game? I liked the part where Bertram died. whoo hoo, comical. Darrlye as a bapok? not bad.
But I had the most fun after the Murder game, just slacked with erfen and johan. wahhaha, we play a stupid game. Use poker cards. the smallest card will have to do a dare..hahha...I ended up stalking a girl for 15 secs altho i didnt stalk her. She spoke to me so i couldnt really stalk her could I? erfen ended up going into a streats newspaper stand to hide in there and could only came out after someone wave to him( lecturer leh!). Johan had to sit at a table occupied by a whole lot of indians for 30 secs...it was hilarious ah! dead funny.
Talk alot of crap there and then ah. I think the people around us thought we were cranked or something. But it was fun. Stupid johan, didnt want to talk, so he write his replies on the murder game note pad, damn damn....but damn funny. Ask us go toliet with him stuff. Dumb.
Oh yea...my hair colour stays! ferlin said as long as i gelled it, i told him i would wear a cap tho.....wahahhaha..............
Speaking about indians. Singaporeans. Do we really mind people of other races? I think the answer is yes. Ask yourself, on a bus, you see 2 empty seats beside other people. Choose, would you rather sit with your ethnic group or another? Give an honest answer lar, most probably is that you would seat next to your fellow comrade who has the same skin colour. Erm, I dont really know what it means. But then , people have always stereo-typed various races. You need example? like chinese calculative lar, malay lazy lar, indians...erm, better not go there. My point is that we singaporeans do not really TOTALLY accept people of a different race. There may be a certain race a certain individual can get along with. But seldom we find someone who can really accept anyone regardless of skin colour.
My point is.....I think singaporeans are Tolerant Racist. Yes, we are racist, but we tolerate it.. Not a very specific idea, but I was thinking about it and i think this phrase is as close as my idea. Is it true? I dont know.
I dont think people who say 'hey, I'm not racist' is telling the whole truth. They may insists so. But perhaps.....its their point of view. so shall not talk more about that. But I wanna add that i usally take that statement with a pinch of salt.
Anyway, you all just go think about it. If you all agree, give me a tag. If not, give a tag too.
I'm not gonna say I'm not racist. But I'm gonna say i have alot of friends who are of other races. i think this is a much fairer statement. What say you?
From the Social Anal-ltys, goodnight everyone.
today's offering is Breaking the Habit by LinKin Park. From the Album Meteora. I think this song is great. Better then Numb and someothers. Definetly one of the better tracks.
Memories consume like opening the wound, I'm picking me apart again...
You all assume, I'm safe here in my room, unless I try to start again...
I don't want to be the one the battles always choose,
'Cause inside I realize that I'm the one confused.
I don't know what's worth fighting for, or why I have to scream...
I don't know why I instigate, and say what I don't mean...
I don't know how I got this way, I know it's not alright,
So I'm breaking the habit,
I'm breaking the habit...
Tonight...
Clutching my cure, I tightly lock the door, I try to catch my breath again...
I hurt much more, than any time before, I have no options left again...
I don't want to be the one the battles always choose,
'Cause inside I realize that I'm the one confused.
I don't know what's worth fighting for, or why I have to scream...
I don't know why I instigate, and say what I don't mean...
I don't know how I got this way, I'll never be alright,
So I'm breaking the habit,
I'm breaking the habit...
Tonight...
I'll paint it on the walls,
'Cause I'm the one at fault...
I'll never fight again,
And this is how it ends...
I don't know what's worth fighting for, or why I have to scream...
But now I have some clarity to show you what I mean...
I don't know how I got this way, I'll never be alright...
So I'm breaking the habit,
I'm breaking the habit,
I'm breaking the habit...
Tonight...
what you can do? What you can do now is to do what you wanna do.
I said this outloud when the 'bodo' was actually a few steps away. I didnt see him. Only saw the books.
This morning was stressful. All the work for conveyancing was darn difficult and time was short even when it was a 3 hour slot. Didnt finnish, have to finnish up and let her check. Fwah, if it isnt stressful enough, its worth a bloody 40 marks. wth.
Went to orchad road to walk walk today. Bought some stuff. Nothing much. Played pool at mambo. I was swayed by shawn to play...seem to have lost my game already...suck at pool now.
Went back to school for the murder game. I was late, because .....of pool?
Murder game? I liked the part where Bertram died. whoo hoo, comical. Darrlye as a bapok? not bad.
But I had the most fun after the Murder game, just slacked with erfen and johan. wahhaha, we play a stupid game. Use poker cards. the smallest card will have to do a dare..hahha...I ended up stalking a girl for 15 secs altho i didnt stalk her. She spoke to me so i couldnt really stalk her could I? erfen ended up going into a streats newspaper stand to hide in there and could only came out after someone wave to him( lecturer leh!). Johan had to sit at a table occupied by a whole lot of indians for 30 secs...it was hilarious ah! dead funny.
Talk alot of crap there and then ah. I think the people around us thought we were cranked or something. But it was fun. Stupid johan, didnt want to talk, so he write his replies on the murder game note pad, damn damn....but damn funny. Ask us go toliet with him stuff. Dumb.
Oh yea...my hair colour stays! ferlin said as long as i gelled it, i told him i would wear a cap tho.....wahahhaha..............
Speaking about indians. Singaporeans. Do we really mind people of other races? I think the answer is yes. Ask yourself, on a bus, you see 2 empty seats beside other people. Choose, would you rather sit with your ethnic group or another? Give an honest answer lar, most probably is that you would seat next to your fellow comrade who has the same skin colour. Erm, I dont really know what it means. But then , people have always stereo-typed various races. You need example? like chinese calculative lar, malay lazy lar, indians...erm, better not go there. My point is that we singaporeans do not really TOTALLY accept people of a different race. There may be a certain race a certain individual can get along with. But seldom we find someone who can really accept anyone regardless of skin colour.
My point is.....I think singaporeans are Tolerant Racist. Yes, we are racist, but we tolerate it.. Not a very specific idea, but I was thinking about it and i think this phrase is as close as my idea. Is it true? I dont know.
I dont think people who say 'hey, I'm not racist' is telling the whole truth. They may insists so. But perhaps.....its their point of view. so shall not talk more about that. But I wanna add that i usally take that statement with a pinch of salt.
Anyway, you all just go think about it. If you all agree, give me a tag. If not, give a tag too.
I'm not gonna say I'm not racist. But I'm gonna say i have alot of friends who are of other races. i think this is a much fairer statement. What say you?
From the Social Anal-ltys, goodnight everyone.
today's offering is Breaking the Habit by LinKin Park. From the Album Meteora. I think this song is great. Better then Numb and someothers. Definetly one of the better tracks.
Memories consume like opening the wound, I'm picking me apart again...
You all assume, I'm safe here in my room, unless I try to start again...
I don't want to be the one the battles always choose,
'Cause inside I realize that I'm the one confused.
I don't know what's worth fighting for, or why I have to scream...
I don't know why I instigate, and say what I don't mean...
I don't know how I got this way, I know it's not alright,
So I'm breaking the habit,
I'm breaking the habit...
Tonight...
Clutching my cure, I tightly lock the door, I try to catch my breath again...
I hurt much more, than any time before, I have no options left again...
I don't want to be the one the battles always choose,
'Cause inside I realize that I'm the one confused.
I don't know what's worth fighting for, or why I have to scream...
I don't know why I instigate, and say what I don't mean...
I don't know how I got this way, I'll never be alright,
So I'm breaking the habit,
I'm breaking the habit...
Tonight...
I'll paint it on the walls,
'Cause I'm the one at fault...
I'll never fight again,
And this is how it ends...
I don't know what's worth fighting for, or why I have to scream...
But now I have some clarity to show you what I mean...
I don't know how I got this way, I'll never be alright...
So I'm breaking the habit,
I'm breaking the habit,
I'm breaking the habit...
Tonight...
what you can do? What you can do now is to do what you wanna do.
Saturday, January 24, 2004
Not Very Imaginative
New Year Greetings.
What have Nutter been up to for the past 2 days?
Nothing. Just... staying at home and holing up at grandma's place.
Why? cause Nutter is not in the best of moods.
Thursday night/friday morning, went to shoot some pool with mutu moley, choy and dwarf.
Orchad road was deserted. Depressing, and I thought getting out of the house would do me some good.
Caught a cab back. Most exciting thing to happen was taking a cab back I guess. It was choy's birthday yesterday, in his words ' This is the worst birthday ever'
Imagine this, 4 of us squatting outside lucky plaza 7 eleven eating mircowave food. what a way to spend chinese new year. Felt damn sorry for choy, but there was nothing much we could do. it was 2am in the morning.
Mood this time is decisively depressing. Chinese New Year's eve was spent playing soccer in school under the afternoon sun and eating fast food. followed by reunion dinner. Dinner was ok, nothing to shout about.
Thought playing blackjack would make me feel better. It made me feel worse. Lost abit...nothing much
Friends are all busy. Its CNY, I expected as much. I dont want to bother them anyway. If there is one thing that I learnt last year, its that people do have their lives and its much more important than you. No matter who you are.
I didnt do anything when I saw them today and yesterday. I didnt know why I didnt do anything. My aunt said that I shouldnt. But I thought I should. But I didnt do it in the end. Did i chicken out? I dont know. Suspicious of it tho. Perhaps I was afraid of making a scene.
Its very like me nowadays. Preferring to avoid problems and people. Was just sitting infront of the TV. I dont even watch alot of TV. Just sat there channel surfing. It was kinda weird. Its like, I catch myself thinking of some stuff thats totally irrevelant. Like some past event or some past ideas/emotions and other stuff. Then when I snap back to reality, I get abit upset at myself. Its like, why go think of some shit that dont even matter now or is totally irrelevent. Its not day dreaming, its time wasting. Then it leads to stuff like 'damn, why did I do that back then?' or 'shit, why am i doing this?'
Things along that line totally upsets me. Its like, no use regreting, but hell, sometimes...its not the 'what if' , its the 'why'
'Why' is much more important than 'what if' Yet people waste all their times on 'what if's
Perhaps because people find it much harder to justify their actions than compared to thinking of what could have been.
Personally, I try to find the 'why' in everything I do. I want to do everything for a purpose. A small thing, anything. Some logical answer to everything I do. everything I feel and everything I see. But then, it has dawned on me, or perhaps i should have reliased it long ago that i just cant find a logical answer to everything that i do.
Actions should be justifyable. Yet humans still do things that are not justifyable. Perhaps, I was thinking that this is what that makes us humans. Animals do things because its necessary for survival and all sort of other stuff, but humans seem to be the only beings which do things because we want to while not actually wanting to.
Hmm, I have written alot of gibberish in today's entry and its not even necessary( see what i mean?)
So perhaps i should stop now.
If you all happen to read from the top to the bottom here, please tag to let me know that you people actually read rubbish.
Today's song is Surrounded by Dream Theater. Fantastic song. Lyrics are very very good. Enjoy.
Morning comes too early and nighttime falls too late
And sometimes all I want to do is wait
The shadow I've been hiding in has fled from me today
I know it's easier to walk away than look it in the eye
But I will raise a shelter to the sky
and here beneath this
star tonight I'll lie
She will slowly yield the light
As I awaken from the longest night
Dreams are shaking
Set sirens waking up tired eyes
With the light the memories all rush into his head
By a candle stands a mirror
Of his heart and soul she dances
She was dancing through the night above his bed
And walking to the window
he throws the shutters out
against the wall
And from an ivory tower hears her call
'Let light surround you'
It's been a long, long time
He's had awhile to think it over
In the end he only sees the change
Light to dark
Dark to light
Light to dark
Dark to light
Heaven must be more than this
When angels waken with a kiss
Sacred hearts won't take the pain
But mine will never be the same
He stands before the window
His shadow slowly fading from the wall
And from an ivory tower hears her call
'Let the light surround you'
Once lost but I was found
When I heard the stained glass shatter all around me
I sent the spirits tumbling down the hill
But I will hold this one on high above me still
She whispers words to clear my mind
I once could see but now at last I'm blind
I know it's easier to walk away than look it in the eye
But I had given all than I could take
And now I've only habits left to break
Tonight I'll still be lying here
Surrounded in all the light
Yea, its definetly easier to walk away than look you in the eye.
New Year Greetings.
What have Nutter been up to for the past 2 days?
Nothing. Just... staying at home and holing up at grandma's place.
Why? cause Nutter is not in the best of moods.
Thursday night/friday morning, went to shoot some pool with mutu moley, choy and dwarf.
Orchad road was deserted. Depressing, and I thought getting out of the house would do me some good.
Caught a cab back. Most exciting thing to happen was taking a cab back I guess. It was choy's birthday yesterday, in his words ' This is the worst birthday ever'
Imagine this, 4 of us squatting outside lucky plaza 7 eleven eating mircowave food. what a way to spend chinese new year. Felt damn sorry for choy, but there was nothing much we could do. it was 2am in the morning.
Mood this time is decisively depressing. Chinese New Year's eve was spent playing soccer in school under the afternoon sun and eating fast food. followed by reunion dinner. Dinner was ok, nothing to shout about.
Thought playing blackjack would make me feel better. It made me feel worse. Lost abit...nothing much
Friends are all busy. Its CNY, I expected as much. I dont want to bother them anyway. If there is one thing that I learnt last year, its that people do have their lives and its much more important than you. No matter who you are.
I didnt do anything when I saw them today and yesterday. I didnt know why I didnt do anything. My aunt said that I shouldnt. But I thought I should. But I didnt do it in the end. Did i chicken out? I dont know. Suspicious of it tho. Perhaps I was afraid of making a scene.
Its very like me nowadays. Preferring to avoid problems and people. Was just sitting infront of the TV. I dont even watch alot of TV. Just sat there channel surfing. It was kinda weird. Its like, I catch myself thinking of some stuff thats totally irrevelant. Like some past event or some past ideas/emotions and other stuff. Then when I snap back to reality, I get abit upset at myself. Its like, why go think of some shit that dont even matter now or is totally irrelevent. Its not day dreaming, its time wasting. Then it leads to stuff like 'damn, why did I do that back then?' or 'shit, why am i doing this?'
Things along that line totally upsets me. Its like, no use regreting, but hell, sometimes...its not the 'what if' , its the 'why'
'Why' is much more important than 'what if' Yet people waste all their times on 'what if's
Perhaps because people find it much harder to justify their actions than compared to thinking of what could have been.
Personally, I try to find the 'why' in everything I do. I want to do everything for a purpose. A small thing, anything. Some logical answer to everything I do. everything I feel and everything I see. But then, it has dawned on me, or perhaps i should have reliased it long ago that i just cant find a logical answer to everything that i do.
Actions should be justifyable. Yet humans still do things that are not justifyable. Perhaps, I was thinking that this is what that makes us humans. Animals do things because its necessary for survival and all sort of other stuff, but humans seem to be the only beings which do things because we want to while not actually wanting to.
Hmm, I have written alot of gibberish in today's entry and its not even necessary( see what i mean?)
So perhaps i should stop now.
If you all happen to read from the top to the bottom here, please tag to let me know that you people actually read rubbish.
Today's song is Surrounded by Dream Theater. Fantastic song. Lyrics are very very good. Enjoy.
Morning comes too early and nighttime falls too late
And sometimes all I want to do is wait
The shadow I've been hiding in has fled from me today
I know it's easier to walk away than look it in the eye
But I will raise a shelter to the sky
and here beneath this
star tonight I'll lie
She will slowly yield the light
As I awaken from the longest night
Dreams are shaking
Set sirens waking up tired eyes
With the light the memories all rush into his head
By a candle stands a mirror
Of his heart and soul she dances
She was dancing through the night above his bed
And walking to the window
he throws the shutters out
against the wall
And from an ivory tower hears her call
'Let light surround you'
It's been a long, long time
He's had awhile to think it over
In the end he only sees the change
Light to dark
Dark to light
Light to dark
Dark to light
Heaven must be more than this
When angels waken with a kiss
Sacred hearts won't take the pain
But mine will never be the same
He stands before the window
His shadow slowly fading from the wall
And from an ivory tower hears her call
'Let the light surround you'
Once lost but I was found
When I heard the stained glass shatter all around me
I sent the spirits tumbling down the hill
But I will hold this one on high above me still
She whispers words to clear my mind
I once could see but now at last I'm blind
I know it's easier to walk away than look it in the eye
But I had given all than I could take
And now I've only habits left to break
Tonight I'll still be lying here
Surrounded in all the light
Yea, its definetly easier to walk away than look you in the eye.
Tuesday, January 20, 2004
Nutter cannot believe it. Annoyed. Pissed. Angry. Very troubled.
My grandad came from china when he was a young child with his family. He went back when he was 18 but subsequently found that home in mainland china was not to his liking. So he came back alone against his father's wishes.
He came back, he studied. He married my grandma and he started working in a bank.
They had 5 children. All girls.
He worked hard, he didnt have much vices. He only liked to smoke and play a little mahjong when he had the free time. He also loved chinese chess. He was never really poor. He had sufficient means to bring up his family without my grandma ever working in her life. He paid for my grandma's driving lessons back then altho she never really passed. He didnt wanna learn cause he had silly accident driving a car when he was young and foolish. It actually rolled down a mountain!
He was a learned man. He could speak chinese, malay, english and most dialects reasonably well. But he was one of those whos english was very good. He read newspapers and magazines. He was always interested in shares too. He was the first one who told me about shares but back then, I didnt really understand.
He was a good father. His 5 daughters grew up to at least to hold teitiary certs and 2 daughters finnished university. He even spanked his own brother-in-law who bullied his daughters. He was never a strict disciplinarian sort. He was one of the more soft spoken ones.
He loved to sing and could really hold his own. He use to be in the school choir. He didnt really liked sports, perhaps except swimming. He loved liverpool Football club. Particulary John Barnes and Ian Rush, he also thought that cantona was great even when Man Utd beat Liverpool. He also had the patience to finnish watching whole tennis matches. I never knew which tennis player was his favourite.He always thought before he spoke. He had a good tempermant just that sometimes the noise his grandchildren made would drive him crazy.
His passion was food. He loved to go on eating adventures. If it was food, it was never too expensive for him. Never. I remember him bringing me to some fancy restraunt even when it was only the 2 of us. I could order anything I fancied and drink any softdrink that I like. About soft drinks, he always favoured F&N orange. There is this coffeshop along East Coast road that served his favourite chilli and pepper crabs. He absoulty loved it there. Infact, one of his last few meals where he actually could eat alil more was there with his 5 daughters and wife. It proved to be the last time that he went there. Till now, my grandma cant really bring herself to go back there to savour the food.
He died on 7/7/99 of cancer. He only learnt of his condition a month before he died. That month was one of the most traumatising times in my family. He was only sick for such a short period before going away.
When he died, it was one of the hardest time for me. I couldnt comprehend alot of things. I couldnt understand why some relatives acted in some ways and I couldnt understand how much I was wrong about alot of things. When he gone away, I hated alot of stuff. But above all I hated religion almost religiously. I was adamant that never will i be bogged down and stepped over by this religion thing.
I remembered my teacher Ms Wang asking me "are you ok?" I said yes. But I never was. From that day, i hated religion and people associated with it. Especially people promoting it. Till now, things have hardly changed. That day, I lost respect for a few of my elder relatives ,never for them to regain it ever again. They are nothing but dirt in my eyes. I shudder to even speak to them. When I say 'hi' its bloody lip service and so hyprocitical that only an idiot would miss it.
The only reason I restrain myself is that I respect my grandma and she didnt like to see me fighting her own daughter , son-in-law and grandchildren.
Have I forgiven them for the thing they had done? No. I dont care if it was their idea of being good but sure as hell I know what they did was bad. Hate is such a strong word. Its also a word that I would use now.
Why am I bringing this up now? Cause 4 and a half years down the road, on a saturday morning. I finally understood what lil my grandpop was in their eyes. I now know. really. Now I hate them. I really do. Let me repeat it. I hate them. The only thing that is restraining me to curse them is that my grandma and other relatives still treat them as family. but still, i hate them.
Is it too much to ask, even if you are of another religion, to remember your father-in law and grandparent on that 1 or 2 days in a year?I use to think that my grandma is too soft, she never made attendance compulsory. But Now, I also get her point
Last saturday, we went to pay respect to my grandfather as CNY is approaching. I was subconciously taking attendance. I was betting who would and would not turn up. The Poh family never did. cept my grandfather's daughter. I shudder to have such an auntie. where were her children? I dont know. Where is her husband? Dead? God damn them. if there is one.
Remembering past times when I have gone to pay respect, I never remembered them ever visiting. Never, not once. Zlich. and what? asking my grandad to convert and believe in the lord and all that crap when he was dying. Pestering him to convert with promise that he will go to heaven. When he is dead, you all forget him. what the fuck is that? if that is not hyprocrisy, I dont know what is.
You all dont know how incredibabably angry I am. I'm in a foul mood this few days because of this incident. Its a bad way to recieve the new chinese calender year but I just cant stop feeling really angry. I'm writing this because I really care. This stirs me up. This makes me tick. This makes me so mad that I can just take a pipe to them. I cant change the way they think, but sometimes the temptation to change their looks really interests me. A smashed up nose, a swollen eye. something along that line. I'm dead serious. Dead serious.
Some old wounds heal the hard and painful way. Some people never forgive while some people never forget. I usually forgive but never forget. This time, i refuse to forgive and refuse to forget. Sometimes, somethings are just too much. Sometimes, it takes a long long time to blow up. Sometimes it takes a long long time to tell somepeople how you think. Sometimes its time to payback. Sometimes somethings are worth losing just to get back at people. Sometimes, I lose control on what I think about. Sometimes, I even lose control and do things that are calculated and thought out. Most of the time, I lose control when I want to. When I plan for it.
This time, is as good as any a time to start planning. I have waited for 4 and a half years. Its time I did something when most people are keeping quite. I swear I will.
If you all thought that i have forgiven and forgotten. You all were wrong. This time, I'm taking my baseball bat with me. As you all would say, may god bless you and have mercy on your soul. You better pray he really exist Cause sure as hell, I wont have any mercy left for you nor will I bless you.
I said I hated you all when I was 14. Now I'm 18 and a half and now I say I hate you. You better believe it. I hate you all.
My grandad came from china when he was a young child with his family. He went back when he was 18 but subsequently found that home in mainland china was not to his liking. So he came back alone against his father's wishes.
He came back, he studied. He married my grandma and he started working in a bank.
They had 5 children. All girls.
He worked hard, he didnt have much vices. He only liked to smoke and play a little mahjong when he had the free time. He also loved chinese chess. He was never really poor. He had sufficient means to bring up his family without my grandma ever working in her life. He paid for my grandma's driving lessons back then altho she never really passed. He didnt wanna learn cause he had silly accident driving a car when he was young and foolish. It actually rolled down a mountain!
He was a learned man. He could speak chinese, malay, english and most dialects reasonably well. But he was one of those whos english was very good. He read newspapers and magazines. He was always interested in shares too. He was the first one who told me about shares but back then, I didnt really understand.
He was a good father. His 5 daughters grew up to at least to hold teitiary certs and 2 daughters finnished university. He even spanked his own brother-in-law who bullied his daughters. He was never a strict disciplinarian sort. He was one of the more soft spoken ones.
He loved to sing and could really hold his own. He use to be in the school choir. He didnt really liked sports, perhaps except swimming. He loved liverpool Football club. Particulary John Barnes and Ian Rush, he also thought that cantona was great even when Man Utd beat Liverpool. He also had the patience to finnish watching whole tennis matches. I never knew which tennis player was his favourite.He always thought before he spoke. He had a good tempermant just that sometimes the noise his grandchildren made would drive him crazy.
His passion was food. He loved to go on eating adventures. If it was food, it was never too expensive for him. Never. I remember him bringing me to some fancy restraunt even when it was only the 2 of us. I could order anything I fancied and drink any softdrink that I like. About soft drinks, he always favoured F&N orange. There is this coffeshop along East Coast road that served his favourite chilli and pepper crabs. He absoulty loved it there. Infact, one of his last few meals where he actually could eat alil more was there with his 5 daughters and wife. It proved to be the last time that he went there. Till now, my grandma cant really bring herself to go back there to savour the food.
He died on 7/7/99 of cancer. He only learnt of his condition a month before he died. That month was one of the most traumatising times in my family. He was only sick for such a short period before going away.
When he died, it was one of the hardest time for me. I couldnt comprehend alot of things. I couldnt understand why some relatives acted in some ways and I couldnt understand how much I was wrong about alot of things. When he gone away, I hated alot of stuff. But above all I hated religion almost religiously. I was adamant that never will i be bogged down and stepped over by this religion thing.
I remembered my teacher Ms Wang asking me "are you ok?" I said yes. But I never was. From that day, i hated religion and people associated with it. Especially people promoting it. Till now, things have hardly changed. That day, I lost respect for a few of my elder relatives ,never for them to regain it ever again. They are nothing but dirt in my eyes. I shudder to even speak to them. When I say 'hi' its bloody lip service and so hyprocitical that only an idiot would miss it.
The only reason I restrain myself is that I respect my grandma and she didnt like to see me fighting her own daughter , son-in-law and grandchildren.
Have I forgiven them for the thing they had done? No. I dont care if it was their idea of being good but sure as hell I know what they did was bad. Hate is such a strong word. Its also a word that I would use now.
Why am I bringing this up now? Cause 4 and a half years down the road, on a saturday morning. I finally understood what lil my grandpop was in their eyes. I now know. really. Now I hate them. I really do. Let me repeat it. I hate them. The only thing that is restraining me to curse them is that my grandma and other relatives still treat them as family. but still, i hate them.
Is it too much to ask, even if you are of another religion, to remember your father-in law and grandparent on that 1 or 2 days in a year?I use to think that my grandma is too soft, she never made attendance compulsory. But Now, I also get her point
Last saturday, we went to pay respect to my grandfather as CNY is approaching. I was subconciously taking attendance. I was betting who would and would not turn up. The Poh family never did. cept my grandfather's daughter. I shudder to have such an auntie. where were her children? I dont know. Where is her husband? Dead? God damn them. if there is one.
Remembering past times when I have gone to pay respect, I never remembered them ever visiting. Never, not once. Zlich. and what? asking my grandad to convert and believe in the lord and all that crap when he was dying. Pestering him to convert with promise that he will go to heaven. When he is dead, you all forget him. what the fuck is that? if that is not hyprocrisy, I dont know what is.
You all dont know how incredibabably angry I am. I'm in a foul mood this few days because of this incident. Its a bad way to recieve the new chinese calender year but I just cant stop feeling really angry. I'm writing this because I really care. This stirs me up. This makes me tick. This makes me so mad that I can just take a pipe to them. I cant change the way they think, but sometimes the temptation to change their looks really interests me. A smashed up nose, a swollen eye. something along that line. I'm dead serious. Dead serious.
Some old wounds heal the hard and painful way. Some people never forgive while some people never forget. I usually forgive but never forget. This time, i refuse to forgive and refuse to forget. Sometimes, somethings are just too much. Sometimes, it takes a long long time to blow up. Sometimes it takes a long long time to tell somepeople how you think. Sometimes its time to payback. Sometimes somethings are worth losing just to get back at people. Sometimes, I lose control on what I think about. Sometimes, I even lose control and do things that are calculated and thought out. Most of the time, I lose control when I want to. When I plan for it.
This time, is as good as any a time to start planning. I have waited for 4 and a half years. Its time I did something when most people are keeping quite. I swear I will.
If you all thought that i have forgiven and forgotten. You all were wrong. This time, I'm taking my baseball bat with me. As you all would say, may god bless you and have mercy on your soul. You better pray he really exist Cause sure as hell, I wont have any mercy left for you nor will I bless you.
I said I hated you all when I was 14. Now I'm 18 and a half and now I say I hate you. You better believe it. I hate you all.
Saturday, January 17, 2004
Ninety one , Ninety one, Nine thousand three hundred and twenty one.
Actually I wanted to head to bed. But then I saw this after shawn told me about it. Really, I feel like giving them lecturers a round of applause. This really tops it. Now I think I love them much much more. Much more then before.(pardon me, fn.)
Fri, Jan 16, 2004 -- DISCIPLINE MATTERS
There are more students who have hair colour and length that's not within the expected impressions we would like to create of our LAW students and Diploma. The undeniable fact is that the image we project is critical to how people view us. This maybe superficial and often unfair but nevertheless, powerful and judgemental first impressions are constanly being made.
In SIP last year, we had LAW firms commenting that they had beach babes and peroxide bimbos (male and female) applying for SIP places with them. Whilst we respect the need for you to express yourself and yes, that's your right under Art 14 of the Contitution, however this is not an unqualified liberty. We have the duty to safeguard the impression of the Diploma and our reputation in the legal fraternity as an institution that produces the elk of quality students which law firms, government organisations and law faculties of top universities will be glad to have in their fold. You will come and go as a student here for three years but the Diploma and its reputation stay and it must be a good one. This is within the Poly, as well outside.
We will be enforcing the dress codes STRICTLY for the Law Diploma, in particular hair colour (for guys and girls) and length (for guys). Also, consider the appropriateness of your dresssing. Parents often query how we can allow our students to be dressing in clearly 'revealing' ways in Poly.
What is acceptable?
Black, dark brown which looks natural to your ethnicity and highlights which are not too stark in contrasts are acceptable.
Definitely not acceptable are blond, strawberry blonde, chromatic brown, bright copper, red, maroon, wine, carrot, dusky platinum, platinum and blue/green/purple coloured hair.
Hair length for guys should be above the collar. If at all, hair must be long enough to tie up in a TIGHT NEAT pony-tail at all times. Long hair is not to be let loose please.
Mr Ferlin as Diploma Representantive to the Discipline Comm will be enforcing this beginning 26 January 2004. You have till this date to make the necessary changes if necessary. Confiscating matric cards and lodging discipline complaints that will be black marks against your Poly records are burdens we do NOT find pleasant.
PLEASE COOPERATE with us on this. Let's all create an image of the Diploma in Law & Management that we can ALL be proud off and that will be a lasting tradition.
Ok, people. Now, no more bright coloured hair. No more nonsense. I think the best is all go shave skin head. then hair colour will no longer be an issue. you may think I'm bitching about all these things, but seriously...I really think that frivalous things like that dont matter at all.
Students just feel that these rules are a pain in the ass. Nothing more. Sure, you can force us to do things your way, but no-way if you use this way will we see things your way. Simple as that. If I dare say, it will result in increased animosity towards all these leading authorities right up there.
Why did we choose to go to a poly instead of JC? cause we may wanna be beach babes or peroxide bimbos for all that we care. Perhaps we are in a wrong course. Perhaps, Perhaps. Let me see, if I dont get to express myself now, in a lil while more, I will get enlisted in the army. There I will probably not have a whisker of a chance. after the army, would I be able to dye my hair and dress foolishly while I'm 23yrs old? Perhaps yes, but not in a shade of platinium.
Law firms complaining because of SIP. In my opinion, all these extreme hair colours should consists of isolated cases. Why? cause by observing my peers in my course, I'm of the opinion that we dont have hair colour that is all so vibrant. Well pardon me if my views are different from the view's of those up there. Perhaps up there, the view really is better. But I very much doubt so.
Infact, i think those law firms who complain are really dumb. Would you like an polite and curteous paralegal with platinium hair or would you like an Chao ah beng with jetblack hair?
Consider this
Hair colour = personality , manners, capability
does the equation balance? hardly. But tell me, why am I not surprise? perhaps because we live in a crazy world full of crazy ideas. Once a long time ago, if you were an attractive women, you could be burned on a stake for being mistaken as a witch.
Perhaps 100 years from now, people will laugh at all these debates about hair colour. I dont know, just talking shit in my blog.
Lastly I do have a suggestion to make. Perhaps for the next year's intake, brochures about our course should includ a disclaimer or a notice. It should read something like this
Law and Management is a course where you will be trained to be strait laced paralegals. Thus, we do not tolerate shit that other courses can tolerate. eg. coloured hair. So if you want to have the freedom of expressing your self as stated in S14 of the constitution, please apply for another course. Thank you.
Damn, what if I decide to be a rockstar in the future and not a dumb lawyer? I guess that big hair will have to wait. But wait, perhaps if I wait till I finnish my course, I will be so jaded and strait laced, that I will forgot all about rock and roll. Now thats a scary thought....
No doubt that because we are dealing in law, we should show a much more restraint and serious facade( it is a facade. we like to have fun too)but then perhaps it should wait till SIP? while we are in school is hardly the time. At least, I really dont think so.
an image that we can ALL be proud off.--> pardon me, but this reeks of hypocrisy. I dont know, would my peers be proud of their stlye and looks? or the whole cohort being one big blur where we all look the same? Thanks lar, we really needed this. One of few venues of expression being cut off. Thanks again. I lurve you all.
thank you all for reading thru all this rubbish.Said my piece, but I dont think it will do any good or change anything. Perhaps just land myself in hot water. But franky, I couldnt care less.
While I'm at it, may I add that I am bitterly dissapointed at recent law events. Law explodes. I only knew off it that day. Perhaps I'm just ignorant, but I strongly dont feel that way. Law Forum? Lets just say I was dissapointed. Sure, I didnt participate much, but again..I wanted, but I just turned out into a amused bystander. I wonder why. And I also wonder why did I have a feeling of being unhappy when i left law forum early with fn. I dont know. Perhaps someone can tell me? Perhaps its self glorifying carried a tad too far. Hyprocrisy? totally reeked of it.
From the Hair Dye promoter, goodnight everyone.
The best way to conquer my fear is to take it head on. It seems to work. Albeit for awhile.
Qian-nograph��
Actually I wanted to head to bed. But then I saw this after shawn told me about it. Really, I feel like giving them lecturers a round of applause. This really tops it. Now I think I love them much much more. Much more then before.(pardon me, fn.)
Fri, Jan 16, 2004 -- DISCIPLINE MATTERS
There are more students who have hair colour and length that's not within the expected impressions we would like to create of our LAW students and Diploma. The undeniable fact is that the image we project is critical to how people view us. This maybe superficial and often unfair but nevertheless, powerful and judgemental first impressions are constanly being made.
In SIP last year, we had LAW firms commenting that they had beach babes and peroxide bimbos (male and female) applying for SIP places with them. Whilst we respect the need for you to express yourself and yes, that's your right under Art 14 of the Contitution, however this is not an unqualified liberty. We have the duty to safeguard the impression of the Diploma and our reputation in the legal fraternity as an institution that produces the elk of quality students which law firms, government organisations and law faculties of top universities will be glad to have in their fold. You will come and go as a student here for three years but the Diploma and its reputation stay and it must be a good one. This is within the Poly, as well outside.
We will be enforcing the dress codes STRICTLY for the Law Diploma, in particular hair colour (for guys and girls) and length (for guys). Also, consider the appropriateness of your dresssing. Parents often query how we can allow our students to be dressing in clearly 'revealing' ways in Poly.
What is acceptable?
Black, dark brown which looks natural to your ethnicity and highlights which are not too stark in contrasts are acceptable.
Definitely not acceptable are blond, strawberry blonde, chromatic brown, bright copper, red, maroon, wine, carrot, dusky platinum, platinum and blue/green/purple coloured hair.
Hair length for guys should be above the collar. If at all, hair must be long enough to tie up in a TIGHT NEAT pony-tail at all times. Long hair is not to be let loose please.
Mr Ferlin as Diploma Representantive to the Discipline Comm will be enforcing this beginning 26 January 2004. You have till this date to make the necessary changes if necessary. Confiscating matric cards and lodging discipline complaints that will be black marks against your Poly records are burdens we do NOT find pleasant.
PLEASE COOPERATE with us on this. Let's all create an image of the Diploma in Law & Management that we can ALL be proud off and that will be a lasting tradition.
Ok, people. Now, no more bright coloured hair. No more nonsense. I think the best is all go shave skin head. then hair colour will no longer be an issue. you may think I'm bitching about all these things, but seriously...I really think that frivalous things like that dont matter at all.
Students just feel that these rules are a pain in the ass. Nothing more. Sure, you can force us to do things your way, but no-way if you use this way will we see things your way. Simple as that. If I dare say, it will result in increased animosity towards all these leading authorities right up there.
Why did we choose to go to a poly instead of JC? cause we may wanna be beach babes or peroxide bimbos for all that we care. Perhaps we are in a wrong course. Perhaps, Perhaps. Let me see, if I dont get to express myself now, in a lil while more, I will get enlisted in the army. There I will probably not have a whisker of a chance. after the army, would I be able to dye my hair and dress foolishly while I'm 23yrs old? Perhaps yes, but not in a shade of platinium.
Law firms complaining because of SIP. In my opinion, all these extreme hair colours should consists of isolated cases. Why? cause by observing my peers in my course, I'm of the opinion that we dont have hair colour that is all so vibrant. Well pardon me if my views are different from the view's of those up there. Perhaps up there, the view really is better. But I very much doubt so.
Infact, i think those law firms who complain are really dumb. Would you like an polite and curteous paralegal with platinium hair or would you like an Chao ah beng with jetblack hair?
Consider this
Hair colour = personality , manners, capability
does the equation balance? hardly. But tell me, why am I not surprise? perhaps because we live in a crazy world full of crazy ideas. Once a long time ago, if you were an attractive women, you could be burned on a stake for being mistaken as a witch.
Perhaps 100 years from now, people will laugh at all these debates about hair colour. I dont know, just talking shit in my blog.
Lastly I do have a suggestion to make. Perhaps for the next year's intake, brochures about our course should includ a disclaimer or a notice. It should read something like this
Law and Management is a course where you will be trained to be strait laced paralegals. Thus, we do not tolerate shit that other courses can tolerate. eg. coloured hair. So if you want to have the freedom of expressing your self as stated in S14 of the constitution, please apply for another course. Thank you.
Damn, what if I decide to be a rockstar in the future and not a dumb lawyer? I guess that big hair will have to wait. But wait, perhaps if I wait till I finnish my course, I will be so jaded and strait laced, that I will forgot all about rock and roll. Now thats a scary thought....
No doubt that because we are dealing in law, we should show a much more restraint and serious facade( it is a facade. we like to have fun too)but then perhaps it should wait till SIP? while we are in school is hardly the time. At least, I really dont think so.
an image that we can ALL be proud off.--> pardon me, but this reeks of hypocrisy. I dont know, would my peers be proud of their stlye and looks? or the whole cohort being one big blur where we all look the same? Thanks lar, we really needed this. One of few venues of expression being cut off. Thanks again. I lurve you all.
thank you all for reading thru all this rubbish.Said my piece, but I dont think it will do any good or change anything. Perhaps just land myself in hot water. But franky, I couldnt care less.
While I'm at it, may I add that I am bitterly dissapointed at recent law events. Law explodes. I only knew off it that day. Perhaps I'm just ignorant, but I strongly dont feel that way. Law Forum? Lets just say I was dissapointed. Sure, I didnt participate much, but again..I wanted, but I just turned out into a amused bystander. I wonder why. And I also wonder why did I have a feeling of being unhappy when i left law forum early with fn. I dont know. Perhaps someone can tell me? Perhaps its self glorifying carried a tad too far. Hyprocrisy? totally reeked of it.
From the Hair Dye promoter, goodnight everyone.
The best way to conquer my fear is to take it head on. It seems to work. Albeit for awhile.
Qian-nograph��
Friday, January 16, 2004
I just imagine its prem and I kick it hard.
ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ...8am lecture. I was ontime. Infact early, till I decided to grab some breakfast with luwin. In the end late....he ate his chicken pie infront of the lecturer. She was very nice. She didnt say anything. We were hungry. 8am in the morning.
Today I DAMN ENTHU. can you all actuallyu believe I sat infront during ACCOUNTING LECTURE? RIGHT INFRONT OF HIS FACE. HIS **** FACE.(OOPS)....must be politically correct. His pleasant looking face I mean.
Then went to my CDS. Fwah, watch that video. No dialogue at all. Just abstract stuff. I had no idea what it was suppose to tell me. Perhaps I'm not cultured enought. Pretty artsy fartsy very shitty. all the naked south american ppl, some monks in tibet, some brazillian slumps. But then, I still dont know what they wanna tell me. there was even a chicken factory. Yes, humans manufacture chickens nowadays.
Then play soccer. My stupid neck got worse. ouch, now very painful.
tmr, 10am. family law. talk about broken family and divorces. should be pretty interesting.
But today OB lecture also not bad. talk about single people in relationship to married people and stuff.
I sat in the 'bachelor by choice' row with luwin and erfendi. Not that we did it on purpose, we just happened to be sitting together during lecture.
Today not bad, had a load of laughs at anything and everything with erfen, lingster and luwin. Fwah, all sort of shit came out while we sitting at jupiter's cafe. all sort of dumb jokes also have. Can be Mortly Crue already lar.
today , I got a formula to impart to you all.
1 twisted and bored guy + 1 tube of hair cream + being in a toliet with no aims of using it = 2 or more VERY unlucky guys who will curse and swear vermehently after taking a shit-break.
Keep this in mind. For those who know Morte (which incidentally means silence in italian. You would know if you read all the Godfather Novels.)
See who can work it out!
erfen, you werer right. It was really too hard to resists ah!! wahahaha. Poor dudes.
Today's offering is this very very catchy song by KISS. Its called I wanna Rock and Roll all night. From the album Unplugged. go DL it, its great. can get from me also lar.
You show us everything you've got
You keep on dancin' and the room gets hot
You drive us wild, we'll drive you crazy
You say you wanna go for a spin
The party's just begun, we'll let you in
You drive us wild, we'll drive you crazy
You keep on shoutin', you keep on shoutin'
I wanna rock and roll all night and party everyday
I wanna rock and roll all night and party everyday
I wanna rock and roll all night and party everyday
I wanna rock and roll all night and party everyday
You keep on saying you'll be mine for a while
You're lookin' fancy and I like your style
You drive us wild, we'll drive you crazy
You show us everything you've got
Baby, baby that's quite a lot
And you drive us wild, we'll drive you crazy
You keep on shoutin', you keep on shoutin'
I wanna rock and roll all night and party everyday
I wanna rock and roll all night and party everyday
I wanna rock and roll all night and party everyday
I wanna rock and roll all night and party everyday
I wanna rock and roll all night and party everyday
I wanna rock and roll all night and party everyday
I wanna rock and roll all night and party everyday
I wanna rock and roll all night and party everyday
I wanna rock and roll all night and party everyday
I wanna rock and roll all night and party everyday
I wanna rock and roll all night and party everyday
I wanna rock and roll all night
I cant stand it. hahahahahahhaa
I'm a bastard and loving it.I'm a bastard and loving it.I'm a bastard and loving it.I'm a bastard and loving it.I'm a bastard and loving it.I'm a bastard and loving it.I'm a bastard and loving it.I'm a bastard and loving it.I'm a bastard and loving it.I'm a bastard and loving it.I'm a bastard and loving it.I'm a bastard and loving it.I'm a bastard and loving it.I'm a bastard and loving it.I'm a bastard and loving it.I'm a bastard and loving it.I'm a bastard and loving it.I'm a bastard and loving it.I'm a bastard and loving it.I'm a bastard and loving it.I'm a bastard and loving it.I'm a bastard and loving it.I'm a bastard and loving it.I'm a bastard and loving it.I'm a bastard and loving it.I'm a bastard and loving it.I'm a bastard and loving it. WAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ...8am lecture. I was ontime. Infact early, till I decided to grab some breakfast with luwin. In the end late....he ate his chicken pie infront of the lecturer. She was very nice. She didnt say anything. We were hungry. 8am in the morning.
Today I DAMN ENTHU. can you all actuallyu believe I sat infront during ACCOUNTING LECTURE? RIGHT INFRONT OF HIS FACE. HIS **** FACE.(OOPS)....must be politically correct. His pleasant looking face I mean.
Then went to my CDS. Fwah, watch that video. No dialogue at all. Just abstract stuff. I had no idea what it was suppose to tell me. Perhaps I'm not cultured enought. Pretty artsy fartsy very shitty. all the naked south american ppl, some monks in tibet, some brazillian slumps. But then, I still dont know what they wanna tell me. there was even a chicken factory. Yes, humans manufacture chickens nowadays.
Then play soccer. My stupid neck got worse. ouch, now very painful.
tmr, 10am. family law. talk about broken family and divorces. should be pretty interesting.
But today OB lecture also not bad. talk about single people in relationship to married people and stuff.
I sat in the 'bachelor by choice' row with luwin and erfendi. Not that we did it on purpose, we just happened to be sitting together during lecture.
Today not bad, had a load of laughs at anything and everything with erfen, lingster and luwin. Fwah, all sort of shit came out while we sitting at jupiter's cafe. all sort of dumb jokes also have. Can be Mortly Crue already lar.
today , I got a formula to impart to you all.
1 twisted and bored guy + 1 tube of hair cream + being in a toliet with no aims of using it = 2 or more VERY unlucky guys who will curse and swear vermehently after taking a shit-break.
Keep this in mind. For those who know Morte (which incidentally means silence in italian. You would know if you read all the Godfather Novels.)
See who can work it out!
erfen, you werer right. It was really too hard to resists ah!! wahahaha. Poor dudes.
Today's offering is this very very catchy song by KISS. Its called I wanna Rock and Roll all night. From the album Unplugged. go DL it, its great. can get from me also lar.
You show us everything you've got
You keep on dancin' and the room gets hot
You drive us wild, we'll drive you crazy
You say you wanna go for a spin
The party's just begun, we'll let you in
You drive us wild, we'll drive you crazy
You keep on shoutin', you keep on shoutin'
I wanna rock and roll all night and party everyday
I wanna rock and roll all night and party everyday
I wanna rock and roll all night and party everyday
I wanna rock and roll all night and party everyday
You keep on saying you'll be mine for a while
You're lookin' fancy and I like your style
You drive us wild, we'll drive you crazy
You show us everything you've got
Baby, baby that's quite a lot
And you drive us wild, we'll drive you crazy
You keep on shoutin', you keep on shoutin'
I wanna rock and roll all night and party everyday
I wanna rock and roll all night and party everyday
I wanna rock and roll all night and party everyday
I wanna rock and roll all night and party everyday
I wanna rock and roll all night and party everyday
I wanna rock and roll all night and party everyday
I wanna rock and roll all night and party everyday
I wanna rock and roll all night and party everyday
I wanna rock and roll all night and party everyday
I wanna rock and roll all night and party everyday
I wanna rock and roll all night and party everyday
I wanna rock and roll all night
I cant stand it. hahahahahahhaa
I'm a bastard and loving it.I'm a bastard and loving it.I'm a bastard and loving it.I'm a bastard and loving it.I'm a bastard and loving it.I'm a bastard and loving it.I'm a bastard and loving it.I'm a bastard and loving it.I'm a bastard and loving it.I'm a bastard and loving it.I'm a bastard and loving it.I'm a bastard and loving it.I'm a bastard and loving it.I'm a bastard and loving it.I'm a bastard and loving it.I'm a bastard and loving it.I'm a bastard and loving it.I'm a bastard and loving it.I'm a bastard and loving it.I'm a bastard and loving it.I'm a bastard and loving it.I'm a bastard and loving it.I'm a bastard and loving it.I'm a bastard and loving it.I'm a bastard and loving it.I'm a bastard and loving it.I'm a bastard and loving it. WAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wednesday, January 14, 2004
Blaster Worm Strikes Back.
Its bloody 1:49am. I just finnished reformatting my computer which is a piece of junk. Struck by a virus called WINBOT32. Had to shift 5 gig worth of stuff to a portable hard disk and back. Bloody waste alot of time.
Worse, after reformatt first time, forget to set firewall. So sweah sweah kanna again! this time blaster worm. So how? reformatt again lar. DUh?!?
I'm now so tired. Have conveyancing tutorial later. Tutorial is not yet done. Lecture notes also not yet printed. Woah, talk about being in deep shit. If there is a deep end, I think I'm there.
oh, did I mentioned my hair got destroyed by some dumb hair stlylist? Thanks alot lar, I wished I could get a refund.
One person said to me: Why get pissed off with a machine?
wahha, in retrospect, yea, abit dumb to get pissed with a machine.....I mean, you cant make it be pissed at you.
Now I understand why thoes japs pray to their gods to protect their computers from virus. Now, I dont think its that silly anymore. Altho I had to admit I was laughing at their photos on the newspaper a few weeks back.
Still have not reinstalled stuff like winamp,Neo-pro MP3 ripper and move my MP3s back....shitload of stuff to do. Have to reinstall everything. What a pain in the ass.
I HATE COMPUTERS.....wait, am I getting pissed with a machine again? hmm, pretty dumb.
Why anyway, I think I going to grab some sleep. Have to get up early to complete moving all the junk back into this piece of junk and prepare for Conveyancing tutorial and lecture.
From the Laptop Reformatting expert, Goodnight everyone! Remember to enable firewall!!!! Dont try to act tough and end up like my laptop. DEAD.
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-----------------
as tho as i dont have some shit to deal with already , now this piece of junk heap more misery on me. Who wants to buy it? Acer TravelMate630 1.6ghz, P4M, 256RAM(upgradable to 1 gig), 20 gig HDD, Geforce 4, 14.1 inch screen. Battery in superb condition.offer me your best price..... will throw in everything I have. Piece of shit has 2 more years warrenty with harvey norman....grab it while I just reformatted it.
Its bloody 1:49am. I just finnished reformatting my computer which is a piece of junk. Struck by a virus called WINBOT32. Had to shift 5 gig worth of stuff to a portable hard disk and back. Bloody waste alot of time.
Worse, after reformatt first time, forget to set firewall. So sweah sweah kanna again! this time blaster worm. So how? reformatt again lar. DUh?!?
I'm now so tired. Have conveyancing tutorial later. Tutorial is not yet done. Lecture notes also not yet printed. Woah, talk about being in deep shit. If there is a deep end, I think I'm there.
oh, did I mentioned my hair got destroyed by some dumb hair stlylist? Thanks alot lar, I wished I could get a refund.
One person said to me: Why get pissed off with a machine?
wahha, in retrospect, yea, abit dumb to get pissed with a machine.....I mean, you cant make it be pissed at you.
Now I understand why thoes japs pray to their gods to protect their computers from virus. Now, I dont think its that silly anymore. Altho I had to admit I was laughing at their photos on the newspaper a few weeks back.
Still have not reinstalled stuff like winamp,Neo-pro MP3 ripper and move my MP3s back....shitload of stuff to do. Have to reinstall everything. What a pain in the ass.
I HATE COMPUTERS.....wait, am I getting pissed with a machine again? hmm, pretty dumb.
Why anyway, I think I going to grab some sleep. Have to get up early to complete moving all the junk back into this piece of junk and prepare for Conveyancing tutorial and lecture.
From the Laptop Reformatting expert, Goodnight everyone! Remember to enable firewall!!!! Dont try to act tough and end up like my laptop. DEAD.
Advertisment
-----------------
as tho as i dont have some shit to deal with already , now this piece of junk heap more misery on me. Who wants to buy it? Acer TravelMate630 1.6ghz, P4M, 256RAM(upgradable to 1 gig), 20 gig HDD, Geforce 4, 14.1 inch screen. Battery in superb condition.offer me your best price..... will throw in everything I have. Piece of shit has 2 more years warrenty with harvey norman....grab it while I just reformatted it.
Tuesday, January 13, 2004
Infinite dreams, I can’t deny them
Check this out. The researching regarding me is called. Qian-nography. This really is some funny stuff. wahhaha.
for erfen is fen-nology. For ling is lingsterism. wahahhahahahahaahhaa. I dont know if its lame to you all, but its funny to me. Frankly, i think its all that matters anyway. But if any of you want to know what you as a subject is called, can ask erfen, ling or myself, should be able to think of something for you! wahahah.
Today's lab session was alright. Cept................wah, that lecturer. Very Kental. I answer a question correct, so I laugh lar, cause only i got it correct. But you know what she said? she said "yes yi qian? you dont often get right answers is it?"
wah.......rabak.
I cant believe it. Is it mandotary that all teachers have to be nasty on the first few weeks of school? I hope not. What with friends being scold for singing techno and not being able to answer questions, i think its sad but true. Conclusion is that teachers have to be mandatorily pissed at students for the first 2 weeks...or more.
Have organisation behaviour tutorial at 9am. I have not done my tutorial yet. I dont think i gonna touch it. wanna test the lecturer anyway...hope its not some kental lecturer. but management subject leh, I think its dirt easy to teach. So I aint expecting alot. Just a lecturer who would leave me alone I happy already. NOT UNCLE BENNY. altho he thinks I'm smart, i dont want to be in his class. he caught me playing truant once. The first and the last time that i was caught. DONT LAUGH, it was a miscalculation on my part. I didnt run fast enuff! cause i had to drag shawn anyway.
Hmm, today I seem to be very kental. Dont know why. Perhaps because of the thing that is bothering me. But no, not gonna tell u all what it is anyway.
So i think ciao liao lar.
From the leading authority(its all about me after all!) on Qian-nology, Goodnight everyone.
Todays recommendation is Infinite Dreams. By IRON MAIDEN. This is mandatory listening for anyone who wants to be metal head or a mat. Its damn important song and its bloody good to.
Infinite dreams, I can’t deny them
Infinity is hard to comprehend
I couldn’t hear those screams
Even in my wildest dreams
Suffocation, waking in a sweat
Scared to fall asleep again
Incase the dream begins again
Someone chasing, I cannot move
Standing rigid, nightmare’s statue
What a dream, when will it end
And will I transcend?
Restless sleep, the mind’s in turmoil
One nightmare ends, another fertile
Getting to me, so scared to sleep
But scared to wake now, in too deep.
Even though it’s reached new heights
I rather like the restless nights
It makes me wonder, it makes me think
There’s more to this, I’m on the brink
It’s not the fear of what’s beyond
It’s just that I might not respond
I have an interest, almost craving
But would I like to get too far in?
It can’t be all coincidence
Too many things are evident
You tell me you’re an unbeliever
Spiritualist? Well, me, I’m neither
But wouldn’t you like to know
The truth
Of what’s out there, to have the proof
And find out just which side
You’re on
Where would you in Heaven or
In Hell?
Help me, Help me to find my true
Self without seeing the future
Save me, save me from torturing
Myself, even within my dreams
There’s got to be more to it
Than this
Or tell me, why do we exist?
I’d like to think that when I die
I’d get a chance, another time
And to return and live again
Reincarnate, play the game
Again and again and again
Check this out. The researching regarding me is called. Qian-nography. This really is some funny stuff. wahhaha.
for erfen is fen-nology. For ling is lingsterism. wahahhahahahahaahhaa. I dont know if its lame to you all, but its funny to me. Frankly, i think its all that matters anyway. But if any of you want to know what you as a subject is called, can ask erfen, ling or myself, should be able to think of something for you! wahahah.
Today's lab session was alright. Cept................wah, that lecturer. Very Kental. I answer a question correct, so I laugh lar, cause only i got it correct. But you know what she said? she said "yes yi qian? you dont often get right answers is it?"
wah.......rabak.
I cant believe it. Is it mandotary that all teachers have to be nasty on the first few weeks of school? I hope not. What with friends being scold for singing techno and not being able to answer questions, i think its sad but true. Conclusion is that teachers have to be mandatorily pissed at students for the first 2 weeks...or more.
Have organisation behaviour tutorial at 9am. I have not done my tutorial yet. I dont think i gonna touch it. wanna test the lecturer anyway...hope its not some kental lecturer. but management subject leh, I think its dirt easy to teach. So I aint expecting alot. Just a lecturer who would leave me alone I happy already. NOT UNCLE BENNY. altho he thinks I'm smart, i dont want to be in his class. he caught me playing truant once. The first and the last time that i was caught. DONT LAUGH, it was a miscalculation on my part. I didnt run fast enuff! cause i had to drag shawn anyway.
Hmm, today I seem to be very kental. Dont know why. Perhaps because of the thing that is bothering me. But no, not gonna tell u all what it is anyway.
So i think ciao liao lar.
From the leading authority(its all about me after all!) on Qian-nology, Goodnight everyone.
Todays recommendation is Infinite Dreams. By IRON MAIDEN. This is mandatory listening for anyone who wants to be metal head or a mat. Its damn important song and its bloody good to.
Infinite dreams, I can’t deny them
Infinity is hard to comprehend
I couldn’t hear those screams
Even in my wildest dreams
Suffocation, waking in a sweat
Scared to fall asleep again
Incase the dream begins again
Someone chasing, I cannot move
Standing rigid, nightmare’s statue
What a dream, when will it end
And will I transcend?
Restless sleep, the mind’s in turmoil
One nightmare ends, another fertile
Getting to me, so scared to sleep
But scared to wake now, in too deep.
Even though it’s reached new heights
I rather like the restless nights
It makes me wonder, it makes me think
There’s more to this, I’m on the brink
It’s not the fear of what’s beyond
It’s just that I might not respond
I have an interest, almost craving
But would I like to get too far in?
It can’t be all coincidence
Too many things are evident
You tell me you’re an unbeliever
Spiritualist? Well, me, I’m neither
But wouldn’t you like to know
The truth
Of what’s out there, to have the proof
And find out just which side
You’re on
Where would you in Heaven or
In Hell?
Help me, Help me to find my true
Self without seeing the future
Save me, save me from torturing
Myself, even within my dreams
There’s got to be more to it
Than this
Or tell me, why do we exist?
I’d like to think that when I die
I’d get a chance, another time
And to return and live again
Reincarnate, play the game
Again and again and again
Monday, January 12, 2004
8am. Monday Morning. Monster's Lair. Thou shall slay the monster and hopefully stay alive while at it.
Psst, tell you all a secret. I love law inc and law lecturers not forgetting the whole school in general.
Anyway, tmr morning 8am. Bright and early. Well, not so bright. Convayencing law lab session. May god have mercy on L02's poor soul's souls. May we have the courage to withstand the monster( luwin may beg to differ tho). In those dreaded halls shall document after document on land law be generated using our sweat, blood and monster saliva. But we shall perserve for this semester. For those grades, we shall try too , or at least die trying.
Tomorro ah..........................end at 12........................ can go home already.
Day after tomorro. start at 9.....................11 can go home already.... Super slack on mondays and tuesday. I love it
am having a kind of foreboding about tmr morning. But on the bright side, have lingster and erfen to accompany me. with the hobbit and some other irritating guy not unlike gollum. Thou shall not reveal his name here. But he is loud, laughs too enthusiastically and thinks that his hokkien speaking is very cool, which i think it is the exact opposite. oh yea, he also jiak kak.wahahah, rabak eh?!?!?!
anyway, thou shall have to hit the bed soon. gotta get up at 6 in order not to incurr the monster's wrath for being late. Wish me luck in class L02's cursade. We shall need it!!
Todays offering is from INXS. for those who DONT know, INXS's front man hung himself. Dont ask me why, but he did. Anyway, this song is called 'Never tear us apart' from their 1991 album 'Live Baby Live' See if you like it, I sure do!
Don't ask me
What you know is true
Don't have to tell you
I love your precious heart
I
I was standing
You were there
Two worlds collided
And they could never tear us apart
We could live
For a thousand years
But if I hurt you
I'd make wine from your tears
I told you
That we could fly
'Cause we all have wings
But some of us don't know why
I
I was standing
You were there
Two worlds collided
And they could never ever tear us apart
Psst, tell you all a secret. I love law inc and law lecturers not forgetting the whole school in general.
Anyway, tmr morning 8am. Bright and early. Well, not so bright. Convayencing law lab session. May god have mercy on L02's poor soul's souls. May we have the courage to withstand the monster( luwin may beg to differ tho). In those dreaded halls shall document after document on land law be generated using our sweat, blood and monster saliva. But we shall perserve for this semester. For those grades, we shall try too , or at least die trying.
Tomorro ah..........................end at 12........................ can go home already.
Day after tomorro. start at 9.....................11 can go home already.... Super slack on mondays and tuesday. I love it
am having a kind of foreboding about tmr morning. But on the bright side, have lingster and erfen to accompany me. with the hobbit and some other irritating guy not unlike gollum. Thou shall not reveal his name here. But he is loud, laughs too enthusiastically and thinks that his hokkien speaking is very cool, which i think it is the exact opposite. oh yea, he also jiak kak.wahahah, rabak eh?!?!?!
anyway, thou shall have to hit the bed soon. gotta get up at 6 in order not to incurr the monster's wrath for being late. Wish me luck in class L02's cursade. We shall need it!!
Todays offering is from INXS. for those who DONT know, INXS's front man hung himself. Dont ask me why, but he did. Anyway, this song is called 'Never tear us apart' from their 1991 album 'Live Baby Live' See if you like it, I sure do!
Don't ask me
What you know is true
Don't have to tell you
I love your precious heart
I
I was standing
You were there
Two worlds collided
And they could never tear us apart
We could live
For a thousand years
But if I hurt you
I'd make wine from your tears
I told you
That we could fly
'Cause we all have wings
But some of us don't know why
I
I was standing
You were there
Two worlds collided
And they could never ever tear us apart
Saturday, January 10, 2004
Chat Log.
XXX: I dont hate law inc
XXX: Infact, I LOVE THE LAW INC PEOPLE.
YYY:But I think I love the LAW LECTURERS MORE LAR!
See, the student body really loves the leading authorities in the course. We absolutly adore them. Heh, listen up! we LOVE YOU! *snigger snigger*
Today ah. I regret. why oh why did i have to go down to queenstown with my brother to get his ruddy shoes?!?
wah, he damn fussy. Choose for over 2 hours. In the end, shelled out 119 on a pair of high cut Air Force 1s from nike. Not bad, bought from limited ed. I still had to give him a loan tho. That boy ah......very troublesome. Met edwin aka peri head and his gf wen ting aka *******(bloody censored. I feel bad tho) there. Talked abit, went separate ways.
Mutu-Moley also met his friends there. One buggger bought Monkey Year Air Force one. Bloody bloody cool. Monkey airforce ones.....who wanna sponsor me??? I not fussy, air jordans also can. Abit of a poor showing from adidas tho. Well, cant expect germans to come out with really cool designs. But what the heck..I still love em.
ok, i wanna go watch Band Of Brothers already. so perhaps i blog a little more later. I think i'm addicted to my blog. shit.
XXX: I dont hate law inc
XXX: Infact, I LOVE THE LAW INC PEOPLE.
YYY:But I think I love the LAW LECTURERS MORE LAR!
See, the student body really loves the leading authorities in the course. We absolutly adore them. Heh, listen up! we LOVE YOU! *snigger snigger*
Today ah. I regret. why oh why did i have to go down to queenstown with my brother to get his ruddy shoes?!?
wah, he damn fussy. Choose for over 2 hours. In the end, shelled out 119 on a pair of high cut Air Force 1s from nike. Not bad, bought from limited ed. I still had to give him a loan tho. That boy ah......very troublesome. Met edwin aka peri head and his gf wen ting aka *******(bloody censored. I feel bad tho) there. Talked abit, went separate ways.
Mutu-Moley also met his friends there. One buggger bought Monkey Year Air Force one. Bloody bloody cool. Monkey airforce ones.....who wanna sponsor me??? I not fussy, air jordans also can. Abit of a poor showing from adidas tho. Well, cant expect germans to come out with really cool designs. But what the heck..I still love em.
ok, i wanna go watch Band Of Brothers already. so perhaps i blog a little more later. I think i'm addicted to my blog. shit.
Friday, January 09, 2004
Fwah...... This one, very rabak(extremely bad in malay.)
At last, the incompetence of blogspot has been rectified. I can see my blog now.
Today....tiring. Lecture at 8am(god-for-saken-hour-if-u-ask-me).
So i had to drag my butt off my bed at 6am.(I live in serangoon area and school is in tampines, which takes a whole hour to get too).
One word. WORST. Organisation Behaviour. Yup, organisation behaviour. Followed by Buisness accounting 2. 2 leh, I barely passed 1 now got 2 already. can die. The 2 lectures were bloody boring. Draggy and long winded. Especially accounts. wah, that lecturer, very good looking. Got receding hair line, buck tooth, specs from 20 years ago, talks weird, crack lame jokes, act concern, act tough, act big, act account very good, wore clothes that has seen better days. Wah, he really is heart throb ah! wahawhha...................... I bet every girl dreams about him ah. I bet he has body odour too. willing to take any odds, any takers? wahhaahahhahaha..............(I'm so good, i busted a gut laughing)
Anyway, went to Cultural and expression CDS class. Hmm, class was cancelled but attendance was taken anyway, so that is good. Got a brief, I repeat brief intro on the subject, think its gonna be interesting. But the thing I love about this CDS is that it is SLACKER'S PARADISE. Dont even need to go lecture, just do all assignments can liao. This sem , skipping school is gonna be a breeze. Oh yea, no exams for this subject too. Somemore, lecture held in school of design, all kind of goodlooking people or weird looking people also have. So can laugh or ogle at girls/things already.
After my prematurely ending lecture, went to play futbol. Didnt really play very long, I busted a toe nail, so had to stop. So my soccer also prematurely ended. But then, weather was terrible anyway(sour grapes leh..)
So today, school was.......argh, I also dont know what it was, half dazed anyway.
But when I came online today, was happy to find out that blogspot is fixed.
glad to find that everything on my blog was normal
glad to see that someone had tagged.
Puzzled that I didnt have a clue who it was.
Figured that the person could be blog hopping.
So i guessed the blogspot add.
Smug that I got it correct.
Read it, shocked.
Scandalous, scandalous , scandalous.( I say this affectionately)
Nice to 'meet' you anyway
wah, this blogspot ah, get to know people who I dont know before. I think ah, i wanna get diray-x already, got password protect! can blog openly(the irony). But wait....I need to let law lecturers read about how i feel.(stop pretending you all never read student blogs!) wah, hard decision to make. I think ah, latter lar, not scared to get into trouble anyway, the most is kicked out of skool or something. Not so bad lar. Shadow Law Inc anyone? wahha, got some arnacist feelings over here.
you know why i so pissed? CAUSE I HAVE NOT SEE MY F****** LAW DICTIONARY FOR A F****** SEMESTER ALREADY. AND NO ONE, I REPEAT , NO ONE IS MAKING ANY EFFORT TO GET IT BACK FOR ME. LEND TO FRESHMAN? MORE PROBABLY LIKE ROBBED BY FRESHMAN. I HATE LAW INC. DONT TELL ME NON OF UR BUISNESS. WHO HANDLED THE LOGISTICS? I KINDHEARTED TAKE OUT MY LAW DIC TO BORROW, NOW DUNNO DIE UNTIL WHERE. I AINT TAKING THAT S*** IF I DONT GET MY LAW DIC SOON, WATCH OUT, I MAY TAKE LEGAL ACTION. DONT ACT DUMB, YOU ALL KNOW WHAT LEGAL ACTION IS. THIS IS NOT A THREAT, THIS IS A PROMISE. I ASK CALVIN TO GIVE YOUR ALL SOME 'ACTION' THEN YOU ALL KNOW. TRUST ME, YOU ALL DONT WANNA KNOW AT ALL AH! ASK SHAWN, ERFEN, JOHAN. NEED TO SAY AGAIN? I HATE LAW INC. DONT GET ANY WRONG IDEAS, YES, THIS IS HATE MAIL(SORT OF) AND GUESS WHAT? IF LAW INC IS READING THIS, THIS MEANS IRS A LOSER, MAIL ALSO NEED TO RETRIVE BY YOURSELF. SHOCKED? READ MY NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS TO KNOW WHY I 'BANGING' YOU PEOPLE. I DONT HATE THE PEOPLE IN LAW INC, I JUST HATE LAW INC.
well, i hate law inc till i'm getting my law dictionary back. then after that, will consider loving them again. but as of now, I HATE LAW INC.
wah, shiok.. i feel much better. No wonder people tell me to express myself more, its healthy. I feel better already.
okok, enuff of rubbish. Today's recommendation is 2 tracks on the album TIME MACHINE (Shi Guang Ji) by MayDay(wu yue tian) Since I dont have the technical know how on how to post chinese lyrics(i have no idea where to get em anyway) I shall settle for just a recommendation. Firstly, Er Wo Zhi Dao(literally translated into "And Now I know") and the secondly Jiu Hao Qiu(translated into "9-ball'). Both songs are fantastic. Bought this album about a month ago. You all should get it if you all like this genre of music. Supposedly rock, but now I'm not so sure.
From the angry law student yi qian, good night everybody.
Start of the song Armstrong by mayday
Mayday! Mayday! we have a problem!
Boy, thats your problem!
At last, the incompetence of blogspot has been rectified. I can see my blog now.
Today....tiring. Lecture at 8am(god-for-saken-hour-if-u-ask-me).
So i had to drag my butt off my bed at 6am.(I live in serangoon area and school is in tampines, which takes a whole hour to get too).
One word. WORST. Organisation Behaviour. Yup, organisation behaviour. Followed by Buisness accounting 2. 2 leh, I barely passed 1 now got 2 already. can die. The 2 lectures were bloody boring. Draggy and long winded. Especially accounts. wah, that lecturer, very good looking. Got receding hair line, buck tooth, specs from 20 years ago, talks weird, crack lame jokes, act concern, act tough, act big, act account very good, wore clothes that has seen better days. Wah, he really is heart throb ah! wahawhha...................... I bet every girl dreams about him ah. I bet he has body odour too. willing to take any odds, any takers? wahhaahahhahaha..............(I'm so good, i busted a gut laughing)
Anyway, went to Cultural and expression CDS class. Hmm, class was cancelled but attendance was taken anyway, so that is good. Got a brief, I repeat brief intro on the subject, think its gonna be interesting. But the thing I love about this CDS is that it is SLACKER'S PARADISE. Dont even need to go lecture, just do all assignments can liao. This sem , skipping school is gonna be a breeze. Oh yea, no exams for this subject too. Somemore, lecture held in school of design, all kind of goodlooking people or weird looking people also have. So can laugh or ogle at girls/things already.
After my prematurely ending lecture, went to play futbol. Didnt really play very long, I busted a toe nail, so had to stop. So my soccer also prematurely ended. But then, weather was terrible anyway(sour grapes leh..)
So today, school was.......argh, I also dont know what it was, half dazed anyway.
But when I came online today, was happy to find out that blogspot is fixed.
glad to find that everything on my blog was normal
glad to see that someone had tagged.
Puzzled that I didnt have a clue who it was.
Figured that the person could be blog hopping.
So i guessed the blogspot add.
Smug that I got it correct.
Read it, shocked.
Scandalous, scandalous , scandalous.( I say this affectionately)
Nice to 'meet' you anyway
wah, this blogspot ah, get to know people who I dont know before. I think ah, i wanna get diray-x already, got password protect! can blog openly(the irony). But wait....I need to let law lecturers read about how i feel.(stop pretending you all never read student blogs!) wah, hard decision to make. I think ah, latter lar, not scared to get into trouble anyway, the most is kicked out of skool or something. Not so bad lar. Shadow Law Inc anyone? wahha, got some arnacist feelings over here.
you know why i so pissed? CAUSE I HAVE NOT SEE MY F****** LAW DICTIONARY FOR A F****** SEMESTER ALREADY. AND NO ONE, I REPEAT , NO ONE IS MAKING ANY EFFORT TO GET IT BACK FOR ME. LEND TO FRESHMAN? MORE PROBABLY LIKE ROBBED BY FRESHMAN. I HATE LAW INC. DONT TELL ME NON OF UR BUISNESS. WHO HANDLED THE LOGISTICS? I KINDHEARTED TAKE OUT MY LAW DIC TO BORROW, NOW DUNNO DIE UNTIL WHERE. I AINT TAKING THAT S*** IF I DONT GET MY LAW DIC SOON, WATCH OUT, I MAY TAKE LEGAL ACTION. DONT ACT DUMB, YOU ALL KNOW WHAT LEGAL ACTION IS. THIS IS NOT A THREAT, THIS IS A PROMISE. I ASK CALVIN TO GIVE YOUR ALL SOME 'ACTION' THEN YOU ALL KNOW. TRUST ME, YOU ALL DONT WANNA KNOW AT ALL AH! ASK SHAWN, ERFEN, JOHAN. NEED TO SAY AGAIN? I HATE LAW INC. DONT GET ANY WRONG IDEAS, YES, THIS IS HATE MAIL(SORT OF) AND GUESS WHAT? IF LAW INC IS READING THIS, THIS MEANS IRS A LOSER, MAIL ALSO NEED TO RETRIVE BY YOURSELF. SHOCKED? READ MY NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS TO KNOW WHY I 'BANGING' YOU PEOPLE. I DONT HATE THE PEOPLE IN LAW INC, I JUST HATE LAW INC.
well, i hate law inc till i'm getting my law dictionary back. then after that, will consider loving them again. but as of now, I HATE LAW INC.
wah, shiok.. i feel much better. No wonder people tell me to express myself more, its healthy. I feel better already.
okok, enuff of rubbish. Today's recommendation is 2 tracks on the album TIME MACHINE (Shi Guang Ji) by MayDay(wu yue tian) Since I dont have the technical know how on how to post chinese lyrics(i have no idea where to get em anyway) I shall settle for just a recommendation. Firstly, Er Wo Zhi Dao(literally translated into "And Now I know") and the secondly Jiu Hao Qiu(translated into "9-ball'). Both songs are fantastic. Bought this album about a month ago. You all should get it if you all like this genre of music. Supposedly rock, but now I'm not so sure.
From the angry law student yi qian, good night everybody.
Start of the song Armstrong by mayday
Mayday! Mayday! we have a problem!
Boy, thats your problem!
Wednesday, January 07, 2004
very very very very very very very very very annoyed.
why is blogspot still down?!?! those of you who can see this, I envy you!
Altho I cant seem my own blog(which is UBER dumb) I will still write something. Just feel like writing.
School today was alright. Family law.
The law governing /concerning the family--> in the lecture notes. super DUH?!? if you ask me.
After that.........ice-ream break. Then nick drove me, shawn, fabien and edwin to bedok for makan, then me fab and shawn went down to town to look at some stuff.....got back around 4pm+ Today, friggin boring.
today I made a revelation. C & E is NOT COLOUR AND EXPRESSION.
ITS BLOODY CULTURAL AND EXPRESSION. thanks lar shawn, u made me think i was going for some kinda kindergarden class. Colour and expression?!?! what?!?
anyway, still feeling annoyed over blogspot's incompetence, perhaps i gonna change to something else. Gonna see how it goes. Diary-X anyone?
Today's offering is punk rock. wahah. I dont normally listen to punk. BUT.... an exception. Ok, this is Perfect. By Simple Plan. From the album No Pads, No Helmets....Just Balls(talk about punk rock names?!?!) Check it out.
Hey dad look at me
Think back and talk to me
Did I grow up according to plan?
Do you think i'm wasting my time
Doing things I wanna do?
'Cuz it hurts when you disapprove all along
And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I'm never gonna be good enough for you
I can't pretend that I'm all right
and you can't change me
'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing last for ever
I'm sorry I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and we can't go back
I'm sorry I can't be perfect
I try not to think
About the pain I feel inside
Did you know you used to be my hero?
All the days you spent with me
Now seem so far away
And it feels like you don't care anymore
And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I'm never gonna be good enough for you
I can't stand another fight
And nothing's alright
Nothing's gonna change the things that you said
Nothing's gonna make this right again
Please don't turn your back
I can't believe it's hard just to talk to you
'Cuz you don't understand
Fwah!, this song very emo huh? Emo-Punk. From me Nutter, goodnight everyone. and hope that blogspot gets to work again soon.
why is blogspot still down?!?! those of you who can see this, I envy you!
Altho I cant seem my own blog(which is UBER dumb) I will still write something. Just feel like writing.
School today was alright. Family law.
The law governing /concerning the family--> in the lecture notes. super DUH?!? if you ask me.
After that.........ice-ream break. Then nick drove me, shawn, fabien and edwin to bedok for makan, then me fab and shawn went down to town to look at some stuff.....got back around 4pm+ Today, friggin boring.
today I made a revelation. C & E is NOT COLOUR AND EXPRESSION.
ITS BLOODY CULTURAL AND EXPRESSION. thanks lar shawn, u made me think i was going for some kinda kindergarden class. Colour and expression?!?! what?!?
anyway, still feeling annoyed over blogspot's incompetence, perhaps i gonna change to something else. Gonna see how it goes. Diary-X anyone?
Today's offering is punk rock. wahah. I dont normally listen to punk. BUT.... an exception. Ok, this is Perfect. By Simple Plan. From the album No Pads, No Helmets....Just Balls(talk about punk rock names?!?!) Check it out.
Hey dad look at me
Think back and talk to me
Did I grow up according to plan?
Do you think i'm wasting my time
Doing things I wanna do?
'Cuz it hurts when you disapprove all along
And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I'm never gonna be good enough for you
I can't pretend that I'm all right
and you can't change me
'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing last for ever
I'm sorry I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and we can't go back
I'm sorry I can't be perfect
I try not to think
About the pain I feel inside
Did you know you used to be my hero?
All the days you spent with me
Now seem so far away
And it feels like you don't care anymore
And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I'm never gonna be good enough for you
I can't stand another fight
And nothing's alright
Nothing's gonna change the things that you said
Nothing's gonna make this right again
Please don't turn your back
I can't believe it's hard just to talk to you
'Cuz you don't understand
Fwah!, this song very emo huh? Emo-Punk. From me Nutter, goodnight everyone. and hope that blogspot gets to work again soon.
Sunday, January 04, 2004
BlackJack. A dangerous mind game. A dangerous activity. But what the hell...
1.Played 1942.the.com.sucks. Pool.Somerset.02/01.04
2.Bought.shoes.adidas attitudes.Doublewides.khaki.90bucks.02/01/04
3.Mutu.Moley.aka.my.brother.has.had.his,hair.cut.by.his.DM.He.now.looks.terrible.02/01/04
4.Joses.aka.soldier.aka.rispkerr's.home.AMK.Played.blackjack.with.how wee.henry.HGF.03/01/04
5.won.140.but.give.discount.so.100.stupid.me.03/01/04
6.Heard.some.shit.which.pissed.me.off.but.i.kept.my.mouth.shut.Now.I.dont.know.what.to.do.03/01/04
7.slept.half.the.day.away.03/01/04
8.Mutu.Moley.decided.to.get.a.crew.cut.Now.Much.better.HA.HA!.03/01/04
Well....seems like 04 is off to a goodstart. But we all know, its not the start that counts, its where you finnish which matters the most.
I did something extremely stupid today. I played blackjack. No No. it wasnt for kicks. I actually made money. I won 140 dollars. I am an idiot. trust me, it isnt fun when stakes are that high. I didnt have fun. I wanted to stop already. BUT NO! those who lost wanted to recoup. Now see what happened. Lost more. Well, i did try to stop the game you know. Joses did try to go easy. But sometimes, you have to recognize that its not your day and you have to stop. Thats what selfcontrol is all about.
Playing the way we all did was an absolute disgrace. Playing on credited money is very very stupid. of cos, its ok for me and joses cause we were winning. But then...probably the rest played the way they did because they couldnt see the money there and then. Thus, the severity of the loss didnt really hit home till they were in too deep.
Once someone has lost alot of money, i think there will only be 1 thing on their mind. Which is to bet more and win it all back. thats the gambling addict's mentality. Its very stupid. Gambling, should be for fun. Not to make money.
Yea sure. I made 140. I decided to collect 100 only, 40 bucks discount. Yea, me and joses made 280 dollars in all. I dont know about the rest. I DIDNT have fun at all. I was tired and drained after the game. I think I had more fun winning just 10 bucks about 1 week ago at HGF's birthday party. Back then, I had fun. Today?! No, nothing. it was all for money. Pure and simple.
One thing that displeased me as well. Getting a girlfriend should not be a BET. I dont care if its just for a packet of ciggarettes or whatever you all wanna wager on. Its dead stupid, childish and very very unfair to her. I dont wanna repoach any one, but then, bear in mind, she is your friend. If your guy friend wants to act stupid and bet that he can get the girl, i dont think you should agree. Think about it. I've said my piece. Its up to you.
haiz, on the bright side, moley did provide me with some laughs when he came back from sch on friday. His DM gave no chance and totally ruined his hair. Even a trip to the hairdressers could do nothing. So he went to have his hair cut again today. Now its a crew cut. He looks ok. Like an army boy tho. Poor kid, for those that dont know MutuMoley. My brother is a vain person, so its quite hard for him now....Now he is no more mutumoley, he has evloved into MutuMoley-Botak Head!
Anyway, i gotta stop now, my throat feels very uncomfortable and i need to get some water.
By the way, WHAT KIND OF STUPID SUBJECT IS COLOUR AND EXPRESSION? I WANNA CHANGE.!
Goodnight Everyone.
Following song is by MatchBox 20. Its called All I need. on the album More than you think you are.Do check it out. Its highly recommened by me ;)
Everywhere someone's getting over
Everybody cries, and sometimes
You can still lose even if you really try
Talking 'bout the dream like the dream is over
Talk like that won't get you nowhere
Everybody's trusting in the heart
Like the heart don't lie
But that's all that I need, yeah
Someone else to cling to, well
Someone I can lean on until
I don't need to
Just stay all through the night
And in the morning let me down
'Cause that's all that I need right now
Everywhere someone's getting over
Everybody's lied to someone
People still use other people
With a crooked smile
All around the world
There's a sinking feeling
Out there right now someone's really
Down on themselves
And don't know why
Every night
And that's all that I need, yeah
Someone else to cling to, well
Someone I can lean on until
I don't need to
Just stay all through the night
And in the morning let me down
'Cause that's all that I need right now
Life ain't no
Beauty show
We don't know where tomorrow ends
And when we're sad
It's kind of a drag
Just stay all through the night
And in the morning let me down
Yeah, 'cause that's all that I need
That's all that I need, yeah
That's all that I need
Right now
Right now
1.Played 1942.the.com.sucks. Pool.Somerset.02/01.04
2.Bought.shoes.adidas attitudes.Doublewides.khaki.90bucks.02/01/04
3.Mutu.Moley.aka.my.brother.has.had.his,hair.cut.by.his.DM.He.now.looks.terrible.02/01/04
4.Joses.aka.soldier.aka.rispkerr's.home.AMK.Played.blackjack.with.how wee.henry.HGF.03/01/04
5.won.140.but.give.discount.so.100.stupid.me.03/01/04
6.Heard.some.shit.which.pissed.me.off.but.i.kept.my.mouth.shut.Now.I.dont.know.what.to.do.03/01/04
7.slept.half.the.day.away.03/01/04
8.Mutu.Moley.decided.to.get.a.crew.cut.Now.Much.better.HA.HA!.03/01/04
Well....seems like 04 is off to a goodstart. But we all know, its not the start that counts, its where you finnish which matters the most.
I did something extremely stupid today. I played blackjack. No No. it wasnt for kicks. I actually made money. I won 140 dollars. I am an idiot. trust me, it isnt fun when stakes are that high. I didnt have fun. I wanted to stop already. BUT NO! those who lost wanted to recoup. Now see what happened. Lost more. Well, i did try to stop the game you know. Joses did try to go easy. But sometimes, you have to recognize that its not your day and you have to stop. Thats what selfcontrol is all about.
Playing the way we all did was an absolute disgrace. Playing on credited money is very very stupid. of cos, its ok for me and joses cause we were winning. But then...probably the rest played the way they did because they couldnt see the money there and then. Thus, the severity of the loss didnt really hit home till they were in too deep.
Once someone has lost alot of money, i think there will only be 1 thing on their mind. Which is to bet more and win it all back. thats the gambling addict's mentality. Its very stupid. Gambling, should be for fun. Not to make money.
Yea sure. I made 140. I decided to collect 100 only, 40 bucks discount. Yea, me and joses made 280 dollars in all. I dont know about the rest. I DIDNT have fun at all. I was tired and drained after the game. I think I had more fun winning just 10 bucks about 1 week ago at HGF's birthday party. Back then, I had fun. Today?! No, nothing. it was all for money. Pure and simple.
One thing that displeased me as well. Getting a girlfriend should not be a BET. I dont care if its just for a packet of ciggarettes or whatever you all wanna wager on. Its dead stupid, childish and very very unfair to her. I dont wanna repoach any one, but then, bear in mind, she is your friend. If your guy friend wants to act stupid and bet that he can get the girl, i dont think you should agree. Think about it. I've said my piece. Its up to you.
haiz, on the bright side, moley did provide me with some laughs when he came back from sch on friday. His DM gave no chance and totally ruined his hair. Even a trip to the hairdressers could do nothing. So he went to have his hair cut again today. Now its a crew cut. He looks ok. Like an army boy tho. Poor kid, for those that dont know MutuMoley. My brother is a vain person, so its quite hard for him now....Now he is no more mutumoley, he has evloved into MutuMoley-Botak Head!
Anyway, i gotta stop now, my throat feels very uncomfortable and i need to get some water.
By the way, WHAT KIND OF STUPID SUBJECT IS COLOUR AND EXPRESSION? I WANNA CHANGE.!
Goodnight Everyone.
Following song is by MatchBox 20. Its called All I need. on the album More than you think you are.Do check it out. Its highly recommened by me ;)
Everywhere someone's getting over
Everybody cries, and sometimes
You can still lose even if you really try
Talking 'bout the dream like the dream is over
Talk like that won't get you nowhere
Everybody's trusting in the heart
Like the heart don't lie
But that's all that I need, yeah
Someone else to cling to, well
Someone I can lean on until
I don't need to
Just stay all through the night
And in the morning let me down
'Cause that's all that I need right now
Everywhere someone's getting over
Everybody's lied to someone
People still use other people
With a crooked smile
All around the world
There's a sinking feeling
Out there right now someone's really
Down on themselves
And don't know why
Every night
And that's all that I need, yeah
Someone else to cling to, well
Someone I can lean on until
I don't need to
Just stay all through the night
And in the morning let me down
'Cause that's all that I need right now
Life ain't no
Beauty show
We don't know where tomorrow ends
And when we're sad
It's kind of a drag
Just stay all through the night
And in the morning let me down
Yeah, 'cause that's all that I need
That's all that I need, yeah
That's all that I need
Right now
Right now
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